I'm a kid with a problem.

I have a decent life with a good family, and though my problem is not as large as some of the people here, I still think that I should put this out.  Usually I would never doubt myself, but now, I'm not sure what to do anymore. The story starts 2 years ago, when my parents decided that I should start doing more activities and extracurriculars, so I did. My sister did some too, of course. Being the kid that I am, I compared myself with here even though she is older than me by 3 years and I was drenched of tears out of rage and sadness. I always managed and did well in the extracurriculars but I never felt like I belonged, so I never tried harder than what was required to please my parents. After, I changed to another school and the friends I had soon were really showing their distinct sides and formed their own cliques. My parents had taught me values, but soon I learned of many types of philosophies and morals from multiple sources, and I became a walking example of a hypocrite. Indeed my entire life is entirely hypocrisy. But it's who I am, what can I do? I ostracized myself from others because I felt never were meant to be with them, the jealousy that they had things I don't because of my strict family. And because of many other things that happened in my life, I feel like a complete moron. I always think that I have some sort of mental disorder and I can never seem to interact normally with people now. And honestly, I'm clogged in a vacuum of expectations. I also have a bad memory and so many bad situations have come from it, and I always just run away from the punishment that entails, despite knowing that it'll be worse later. And then sometimes I find myself not knowing what I'm saying or messing up what I was writing, often contradicting myself so often. I just need some feedback go see what some basic steps are to regaining my life and finding interest in it. 

Thanks, Somekid