However, I welcome you to read here and if ever you have questions, comments, or even snide remarks (I like those), I will gladly accept and read your PM. I do reply to every single one, even if it's a simple "I don't know."
You may not feel welcomed here by others, but you'll see a lot here even if you don't post, I welcome you to read.

Sending good thoughts,
BsB

Yes, I am a suffering sister of a Bipolar human being.
To some here, i may not belong to this group because i am not the ONE clinically diagnosed as Bipolar. HOWEVER, I wish I could show you all my life for a day. We are sisters, blood 100%, someone who i am willing to give my life to make her happy.
From the bottom of my heart i appreciate what you have given me so far.
I am 42 , my 41 year ols sister sleeps right next to me in my bed. I guess God knew what he was doing when neither of us succeeded in marriages.
She is now very depressed. I have to.sleep with her right next to my, cook , clean, take care of 9 year old child, the houses, the bills that keep coming, the cash visits to dr aapointments, the $1400 monthly meds.
So , yes...i dont have the illness myself but I suffer right along with her.
Sometimes I ask myself what will be of my life is my sister ever decides life is not worth fighting for???
The price we pay for unconditional love is very high and painful.
I dont have a second chace of survival if i mess up once.
So, for those of you here who have welcome my desperate queations, THANK YOU. For the ones who have a different opinion. My sincere appologies, it was never my intention to harm any of you.
I am just desperate for a miracle for my sister and for all of you.
The board for Family members is great for a support when they need to vent.
I dont need to vent, i live the life with a Bipolar. I NEED DESPERATE HELP FROM THE ONES WHO KNOW BEST. YOU ALL.

Hopefulsoul, just keep reading and PM me for other info. I dig that you're trying to get it from the horse's mouth, or in my case the other end.
Others here seem driven to keep this group beepers only. Just look at it, then quote the posts you need support with in the f&f board, maybe?

Not a problem.Thank you!

Most of us live with terrible guilt of what we have done in the past.

Our suicide rate is something like x10 of the normal population.

Probably those 2 facts are related.

While you might wish to show us all your life for a day, you might consider what the impact it has on us when we are depressed and feeling like a burden on our families as many of us do. Reading some of the crisis posts will quickly show you that is a theme, of feeling a burden, of being more trouble alive than dead.

At times like that people come here for solace - maybe they don't need to be reminded what a bother and trial we can be to others?

You have reminded us of it many times now in what many consider to be our safe place.

Here is a test for you. Would your sister be happy with what you have written about us here? If you think she wouldn't then understand by extension you are telling the people with the same issues how much harm we do to those we love and love us.

I wonder sometimes if I could share the days, weeks, months or even years I have lost to this disorder (and I count myself as only lightly touched by the Bipolar curse) with those that don't suffer, how they might feel.

We already know how you feel. But if seems you don't truly understand how we feel and that isn't about anything technical, it's simply about understanding human nature.

If you read this and understand it then maybe you have learnt something that is really transforming in your relationship with your sister.

I agree and I think that's the problem .... What might be a relief for a family member or friend to discuss can really hurt people who are in a vulnerable state on here

This is a safe place for members who have bipolar

A lot of us carry a great deal of guilt already

Talking to a social worker about options for yourself might be a good way to go Hopeful.... Big hug...

bump

Well said by both of our beloved CL's! I echo that we as people with bipolar are not good sounding boards because we don't need reminders on how much we can tax our loved ones. We are people with an illness. And this is OUR safe place.

Forgive my bluntness....

You may think you "know" what its like to live the life of a BiPolar (we're actually people who have BiPolar) but you've forgotten one very, very large thing.

You have a choice, you can stop participating in your sisters BiPolar Life any time you want. You can just say "I'm done" and that's it for you.

Those of us who have BiPolar Disorder, don't get choices. I've battled this Disorder for 28 years, and there was NEVER a time where I could just stop. I guess the multiple Suicide attempts were me trying to stop, but they didn't work. A 24 yr marriage to a man who loved to remind me how much I stressed him and messed up his life with my mental illness, even though he was an alcoholic, but hey Mental Illness is worse I guess. Battling this Disorder to raise 2 sons, and keep the "crazy" as far away from their lives as possible. Battling this Disorder through University, a Career, providing for my family, because the alcoholic couldn't keep a job.

So, yeah its irritating when someone says they know our BiPolar life and they live it all day, etc. because as bad as it looks from the outside looking in, its a helluva lot worse when you get inside and look out to a world that doesn't understand you and doesn't accept you.

I have read a lot here, and taking in consideration all your sutuation i shut my mouth most of the time..

I understand some of you believe US families belong else where. But i know some people here have no problem communicating with us " the outside world"

So, i see different people, different opinions , same condition, definately different personalities...and some different stages of BP.

Since you said " forgive my bluntness"...i hope you forgive mine as well!

Sorry if my TRUE LOVE for my blood sister is thicker than water!
Since you dont know me and you ASSUME leaving my sister is an option for me, i believe i need to make this clear:

I am not here to insult you, but please do not insult me either.

When you truly LOVE someone like i LOVE my sister there is NO OPTION..
I dont come here to complaint about my sister, i come here with the little hope to find anything that could help.
Its 4am. Thoughts keep me from.having a " normal" night of sleep. My sister's life is constant in my mind.

Please forgive us " families" for loving you more than life itself.
You are a mother, so the closest way you can relate to my TRUE LOVE is to think about " leaving" one of your children with a serious illness.
Would you abandon your child because he or she has cancer???
Why would i simply walk away from my sister's life?

This thread isn't about denying the love or caring of families or friends.

It's a result of almost a decade of experience on this board, much of it spent sorting out problems as a Community Leader.

In the past there have been been issues when people who were unaware of the Families & Friends board existed causing issues on this board, which as said, is seen as many as a "safe place". This very issue has led to upset, warnings, suspensions, bannings and in one case serious self harm.

That has been occasionally when someone, often a disgruntled partner or family member rants about people with bipolar. More often though it's an innocent mistake. But it still causes a problem. That's what both of the Community Leaders are trying to avoid.

So the purpose of this post is to address that point - it's a "for information" post telling people that aren't aware that there is a families & friends board. Nothing more. Not a debating point.

Let's turn it around so it might be clearer, sometimes there are rants about "normies" on this board. They may have a place here but I've no doubt that if posted on Families & Friends they would cause offence and drive people from the board. In fact, that has happened a few times. It's not acceptable either. It's more of an issue here because at any point a sizable minority are in crisis and potentially suicidal.

So this isn't about love, this is about context and appropriateness.

Whatever you say you are going to change the way the majority of people feel here. If anything you will simply increase that majority.

I'd suggest that we are at the end of the discussion.

bump again

I jus got verbally abused by a relative whos adult daughter refuses to take care of her bipolar illness. Like wth? She's your daughter and you don't bother to help her and your taking out on me and everyone in the family who has tried to help her. Our family is stressed out mentally exhausted . We don't know what else to do for her.

China, hi. If you got back to Support Groups and choose Mental Health, then click on "more groups", you will find the Family and Friends of Bipolar" there.

I'm sure they have lots of input into how difficult it is to put up with us.

Maybe you can convince some of your other family members to visit the group as well, so they will know better what to do.

Good luck -

I agree sweetie...I hope that it can help you

I put this up in 2017 so I'll close it now sweetie

Big hug and a blessing sent...xo