I'm 3 months pregnant right now. I'm 22 years old and engaged. I've been with the father for 3 years and while I love him very much, our relationship has had some serious ups and downs. He was abusive for a while, I lashed back, then we both tried to get ourselves together and work it out, which has been great for the last year or so, but now we are becoming increasingly dysfunctional again and frankly, his abusive ways are returning. Whenever we fight, he tells me to just forget about him and find someone else to help me raise the baby and that I'll be just fine going that route only to later take the statement back and pretend he never said it.
He's currently on a vacation with his parents and I haven't heard a thing in days. They left me to take care of his grandmother and the house while I'm throwing up everyday and exhausted from the pregnancy, without support or communication. I feel at the end of my rope right now.
I have zero support whatsoever in general, haven't completed my degree, was recently laid off and am finding it difficult to find a job and with my credit being completely trashed by a "friend" that opened up two credit cards in my name, maxed them out and I never knew until I tried taking a loan out. I feel that I can not provide the life I want for my child especially with a growing depression and anxiety problem that I have yet to get under control.
I got pregnant on birth control and it has completely turned my world upside down. While I am pro-choice, I am personally against abortion concerning myself so I am seriously considering adopting my child out. I found a truly amazing couple in Arizona that I completely fell in love with, and am absolutely confident they will be wonderful parents to raise my baby.
But now I'm in a place where whenever I think about placing my baby for adoption, I turn into a horrible, conflicted, crying mess. I'm debating whether I can make it work as a single mom, and still build myself into a happy and successful person that is capable of raising a child, and whether I can find someone that I actually can have a healthy family with that will accept my baby as well or if adoption is the route I really should take. I'm literally torn right now and don't have anyone to really talk to.