Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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RockNMetalChic 03/04/2008

i'm being haunted by the memory of my ex - almost 5 years ago i met a man named Andy- we were alike in every way- and by every way i mean we thought , looked, and loved each other the same- he was like the male version of me- even our names matched- he was Andy and i'm Brandi.... he was my first love and the first man i ever let make love to me......i thought i'd be with him forever... i was in love and loved him u know.... he was my everything... he waited a year for me to be ready to give myself to him- he was my Hunny Bunny and i was his Cuddles..... in the summer of 2006 he was wrestling and i get a call from his boss saying that he had a heart attack- he was in the ICU for a long time and nobody knew if he would make it or not- he did... and we were planning on going out somewhere special when he got out of rehab- well in dec 2006- i got a phone call saying- i love u babe and i'll be out of here next week..... and then he was just gone..... i can't help it- i compare all my boyfriends to him and i wish i could have him back- why did god take my Andy from me? i still have my days when i hear our song ( Lifetime of Dreams by Journey) and i just cry - i still remember our first conversation- he said can i tell u that i love u - and i said u don't even know me! and he said some day you'll feel the same way about me....... and it was true i did..... he was my prince charming- one of the most caring , loving men i've ever known and there is no other like him- just needed to vent today- having a hard time letting his memory go and missing him so much lately ...... he wanted us to have a baby so bad and now i regret not making one with him- cause atleast then i'd still have a part of him- now all i have are these haunting memories , and dreams- i always kinda knew it would end this way- used to have dreams that he was standing in this fog and no matter how hard i ran or tried i just couldn't get to him and i'm wake up with real tears streaming down my face..... he was my soulmate i have no doubt about that.... :( i miss u Andy !....... i just pray god watches over u til i can get there to be with you.....

Juice 03/04/2008

Not at all. Just glad you feel you can here. It must be a safe place for you. More hugs.

deleted_user 03/04/2008

You can do whatever you need to to get better. We are all here with you and for you.

RockNMetalChic 03/04/2008

i love Scott - but i could never give my heart to anyone the way i gave it to Andy- he was my soulmate and he can't be replaced....... and i want him back sooooo much !

deleted_user 03/04/2008

I love you Brandi and it's ok to feel this way. Keep talking. It's good for you.

Marigolds 03/04/2008

That is so very sad and made my heart ache for you. He has changed you, as everyone we meet does,so a part of him will always be within you. It's early days now but in time you will get over this pain and thinking of him will make you happy...not cause the terrible sadness. Try to avoid the "if onlys" this doesn't help. Cherish the memories...but...he's gone.. he wouldn't want to be responsible for making your life unhappy. He would want you to move on with your life and let him go so you can be happy again. I don't believe there is only one person in this life for us and i do believe that you will fall in love again...it just takes time...
many hugs

RockNMetalChic 03/04/2008

Its gonna sound silly but one reason i don't attempt suicide is that i worry i will go to hell and not be in heaven with my Andy- i think to myself if i can't be with u on earth - then we will be together in heaven - somedays i think how i can't wait to get there to talk to him- other days i think its gonna be a long time and i ask god - why did u take him ! my heart and soul are being tortured - everyday by this..... then i think i would trade places with him- cause he not only left me here- but his son who is 10 this year......

deleted_user 03/04/2008

awww Brandi, we all love you and I am glad you don't attempt suicide. I already lost one best friend that way. You are a wonderful person and alot of people need you and we will all help you get through this pain. I love you.

deleted_user 03/04/2008

RockNMetalChic 03/04/2008

This is so unfair ! why did i even find him if i was gonna have to be left here without him- i feel so lost and alone without him- like he is the only one who will only feel that way about me and accept me for who i am inside and out..... i want him back.... its pathetic but i used to plead with god and try to bargain with him- i even said he could take me if i could just have one more day to tell him how much i cared and be with him- we left so much unspoken ....

deleted_user 03/04/2008

In the end we will all be judged by our scars... this scar will show that you loved another with all your heart and you were a didicated and loving fiance... to have someone taken away from you in that way is awful... i recently lost the love of my life not to death but seperation... and her memory still haunts me every day... but if i find a way to stop that i will let you know... my heart goes out to you...

RockNMetalChic 03/04/2008

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nzeMzo_4pxA

Because i know we will be together "One Sweet Day".... just have to say it one more time - I LOVE YOU MY HUNNY BUNNY! :)

RockNMetalChic 03/04/2008

deleted_user 03/04/2008

bump

RockNMetalChic 03/04/2008

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CoUOrLe4vlY

I'm so Broken without you... please god watch over him til i can ......

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