I'm sorry for your pain. Hurting yourself more will only make things worse though Sweetie. Call your counselor; bet they can work you in. Ill keep you in prayer. God bless.

I am so sorry that you’re hurting inside, and it is easy to want to self harm. I have been there before and I understand how hard it is. Last week I was so upset, that I punched myself in the legs Repeatedly. I I’m thinking about you and sending you big hugs and prayers

I feel your pain. It hurts so much to have to deal with that internal battle and pain. I found myself holding a pair of scissors last week, very much in the same mental and emotional state you are describing. All I can offer is a cliche, "this too shall pass". It's going to hurt along the way, but get some sleep, maybe the feelings will be dulled in the morning light. <3

I know all to well what it is like to feel on top of the world one minute and feel like you are drowning the next. It is awful. You should call your counselor. Also, have faith. In yourself most of all that you can do this! Faith you will be ok! We all want you to be ok. You are strong. Dig down deep. I have cried so long some days that I wondered if I would ever stop. My eyes were so sorry. Then I just wished I could go to sleep and not wake up. But eventually I got through it. I have faith you can to. Make the call though, it never hurts to get extra support! My thoughts are with you!!!

My advice, don't focus on that you want to enjoy the weekend or that you're ruining your time. That never ends well and makes it that much harder to get out of. Instead, tell yourself you are going to do an activity. It seems meaningless and pointless at this time right now. I get that. But do it anyway. Get a notebook and sketch, or a coloring book and color, or sit up and paint something. You won't want to do it and you'll wonder why you are, except you'll start to relax some and some of those thoughts kind of drift off.
I also find when I cannot sleep because my head is racing with all of these horrible ideas or situations my imagination runs away with, turn on the tv to something mindless and funny. A sit com or a child's cartoon. It won't cheer you up, but it shouldn't aggravate you either. And then the numbness of the show sets in and you can relax enough to drift off, even if only for a couple hours.
Good luck. And don't cut yourself. It isn't worth it. The time spent at the hospital is worse than the time spent alone in your room. We might be strangers to you. Doesn't mean we don't care. Take that caring of everyone who has responded and know you are worthwhile.

Those urges must be very addictive in nature since they are so hard to resist. Please do resist though because I think that adding another incident of cutting onto the past ones will increase the addiction. I wish you had a sponsor like they do in Alcoholics Anonymous - which is someone to call in a crisis. Short of that arent there hotlines available?

I’m addicted to anger and my depression deepened so badly that I started having one to two episodes per month which scared me because I dont want to be hauled into the office where I live.

I’m sorry for your pain and that your day turned sour. Since I’m just now reading your post from Saturday I do hope you found the inner strength to refocus your attention elsewhere and the rest of your weekend got better. God bless.