Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
It happened. My goal for 2020 and forward, one of my number-one goals was NOT to catch COVID. I did everything right. Wash hands a million times a day, don't touch my face, don't go out, don't move, don't blink, don't anything. Mask all the time, no parties, no dating, no gym, no movies, no parties, no friends, no parents, no family, no travel, no love, no love, NO NO NO NO NO all the NO.
Six months in, it's getting more under control. They say the numbers are better in my area. I venture out a bit; things are back open a bit. So I decide to go to dinner. Still, it's against my better judgment-I know just becuase I can and they allow it doesn't mean I should. I go against my own code. The host insists that we follow through-he's made so many efforts and people are dropping like flies at the last minute. He changes it the dinner from outdoor to indoor. I'm panicked and torn and so many things pulling at me. Out of all the modified activities, they say people who catch it went to an indoor dinner within two weeks. I cave, mostly to myself and then him, and go. It's packed-a ton of people squeezed in a little room talking. It's awkward but I have a blast anyway, and wonder if I'll be alright.
Now, I'm not. Twelve days later, things are amiss. Last night I went to eat a donut and it for sure did not taste like that. I had to spit it out immediately as the taste was awful. Like sulfur. I almost retched it out. At first I think it's a stale or tainted donut (from a package) and then it dawns on me-loss of taste. I start to panic but wait it out; maybe it's a one-off. Didn't sleep last night.
Second day. Water tastes like sand and dirt. I can vaguely taste tuna but not the olives, like chewing rubber. They tested me at urgent car, it wasn't too bad. But I started bawling the minute I got in the waiting room. The nurse said loss of taste is gradual and that sometimes you can lose a taste for one thing but not another, i.e. salty but not sweet, etc. Now, everything sweet has that vague sulfuric metallic taste. I put a bunch of sugar in my green tea to test. It just tastes like hot water, no sugar taste. I can't smell my really strong pungent aromatherapies of lavender, but they do have a mildly sufuric stench instead. Hot, spicy ramen shrimp ramen tastes like bathwater.
I'm so furious. I cried and cried and cried in the Urgent Care. The doctors were really nice about it, I blame myself. They said, "It is what it is." You have a virus, but we're not sure which one it is yet. I get the results next week.
I knew better.
