Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
It seems like this is true lately. Every single day is a bad day. Tonight I just want to die. During the day today, all day, I wanted to die. I saw my counselor today. And as soon as I left, I wanted to kill myself. So I went home, let my dog out, and left because I knew if I stayed home I'd hurt myself. I have no one here to talk to or that I can be in person with so that I'm safe. I'm at work again and I just can't do this much more. I say that every night, but I seriously don't know when I will snap. I know it's coming. I just need out. I hope and pray I get this job that I interview for this Friday so that I can give my 2 weeks here and be done. I just don't want to do another 2 weeks here. I need out. But I have to do this the right way. I cut last night. And I can pretty much promise I will do it again tonight. And honestly, I don't care anymore. No one else seems to care all that much or take me seriously. I told a friend I'm suicidal and she simply tells me I need to keep talking to my counselor and doing what I am doing now. Obviously what I am doing right now isn't working. Because I have fresh cuts and there will be more. Sooo yeah. That was brilliant advice. And the other friend that I told said I need to tell my mom. 1. I am 23 years old. My mom does not need to know. 2. My mom lives 1.5 hours away. She can't help anyway.
So yeah. I'm stuck and I feel scared of myself and what I might do all the time. I really want to die. I almost wish someone would take me seriously, but I also know that I'd get sent to the hospital if they did and I don't want that.
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I got an email from Kohl's that I had a 40% off coupon for today and tomorrow only. It took me about an hour but I placed an order and got some great deals. I have been wanting a new dress. I like dressing up sometimes. My birthday is coming up and I have dinner plans at a nice restaurant. But, honestly, I'm a little out of control again. I went through this in the fall. I bought...
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Has anyone else noticed that clearly speaking and doing things intentionally is liberating because it helps combat the feeling of depression and a sense of hopelessness? Let me share a little more: in my experience, when those who have tried to project a hidden agenda that is obviously not aligned with integrity and well-being, it's best to be firm and speak clearly from self-awareness and...
you have persevered through an insurmountable amount of pain already. you have already done the impossible.
even if it does feel that way
even if your brain tells you that you can't do it
believe us, it's wrong
you can
you do every day
you will again
you are a survivor
you are a fighter
yes you get tired
yes you get saturated
let the words keep spilling even when you don't think they are helping you
why? because every single second that you are trying something to make it work, even if it doesn't work, is another second you are not cutting
you are not dying
you are not relinquishing~
the whole world, especially us here , can see your light shining even when you feel you are in the dark
sending you my heart and prayers
nancy6464, You write beautifully. Thank you for the beautiful words of encouragement.
Help_me_Jesus, Thank you for the prayers. I really appreciate it.
The hardest part of my night is coming. Medication routines. I have to be alone with that client again...
Then I have 2-3 hours to sit and think. About everything.
What kinds of advice/things have helped you in the past when you have felt like harming yourself? I know that going to the hospital isn't something that you want to do, but sometimes that is what is going to be most helpful. It sounds like it has been difficult to find other solutions at this point that are helpful to you.
At the end of the day, I am not sure what I could say that would make you feel better, except that I hear you and where you are coming from. I hear that you are feeling hopeless and don't feel like there is anything to live for at this point. BUT... please hear me when I tell you that your identity is more than what you are seeing now. You were created by a God who LOVES you. He created you to be perfectly you. You have gifts and talents to be used in this world. He loves you so much that he had his son die for you, that you can have a personal relationship with Him. He is our light in this world and He is why life is worth living - for His purposes.
I am praying for you. I pray that you find the answers that you are looking for.
John 3:16
John 15:9-17
Romans 5:2-5
Galatians 2:20
Merry Christmas!