Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
So what?
Ok.. so I am sure everyone has seen the thread about "important" members leaving.
Yes, some people have left, and some are in the middle of making the decision to do so.
That's fine. People come and they go.
I don't know why it is that suddenly so many people are unhappy with DS. I don't know why some people suddenly feel like this place isn't helpful. I guess it isn't helpful for them.
That's fine. Some things work for some and not for others.
People are complaining about not being able to speak their minds. I really have no idea where this is coming from. Each and every post I have EVER made on DS has been 100% honest and 0% sugarcoated. I say what I think. Someone asks for advice, I give them what I think is the best advice I can give. Someone asks for comfort, I try to give them that. Someone wants to vent, I listen. I think most members are like this. Most members speak from the heart. They really do care.
None of us are professionals. We're just regular Janes and Joes trying to help one another out. So, yeah, sometimes you might get shitty advice. Sometimes you might get nothing but "there there" and "hugz!" because members just don't know what else to do to help you in your situation. Sometimes you will hear opinions you disagree with or don't want to hear. Sometimes you won't hear the things you need to hear.
It's because DS isn't perfect, and neither is its members.
If you have an issue with that, please do leave. It's what's best for you and the rest of us here.
Personally, I'm willing to roll my eyes at some of the stupid shit that is said and done here and move on so that I can take advantage of the positive things I gain from this site. I hope that most of you are willing to hold onto this as well.
I love DS.
Ok.. so I am sure everyone has seen the thread about "important" members leaving.
Yes, some people have left, and some are in the middle of making the decision to do so.
That's fine. People come and they go.
I don't know why it is that suddenly so many people are unhappy with DS. I don't know why some people suddenly feel like this place isn't helpful. I guess it isn't helpful for them.
That's fine. Some things work for some and not for others.
People are complaining about not being able to speak their minds. I really have no idea where this is coming from. Each and every post I have EVER made on DS has been 100% honest and 0% sugarcoated. I say what I think. Someone asks for advice, I give them what I think is the best advice I can give. Someone asks for comfort, I try to give them that. Someone wants to vent, I listen. I think most members are like this. Most members speak from the heart. They really do care.
None of us are professionals. We're just regular Janes and Joes trying to help one another out. So, yeah, sometimes you might get shitty advice. Sometimes you might get nothing but "there there" and "hugz!" because members just don't know what else to do to help you in your situation. Sometimes you will hear opinions you disagree with or don't want to hear. Sometimes you won't hear the things you need to hear.
It's because DS isn't perfect, and neither is its members.
If you have an issue with that, please do leave. It's what's best for you and the rest of us here.
Personally, I'm willing to roll my eyes at some of the stupid shit that is said and done here and move on so that I can take advantage of the positive things I gain from this site. I hope that most of you are willing to hold onto this as well.
I love DS.
The way I see it, is this....
No matter where ya go, there's always gonna be a huge diverse group of people. Not everyone is going to agree with everything everyone else says 100 percent of the time. If you wanna speak your mind, then so be it. Not everyone can handle or needs the harsh truth when others give it to them...Sometimes just a hug helps a little bit. Or there are times that people don't know how to respond, so they just give hugs instead.....That is not enabling. If people wanna speak their minds then then go ahead, speak your mind.....We all deserve respect here, we all have different situations. If you are not happy with the way DS is or is becoming, then work on changing it.... DS is all about the members and the support that we give and get on here.
Hugs to all! "
And you know what? Half a year ago when Im sure many "important people" were here, I saw many of the same threads saying that DS wasnt what they wanted, it would never be the same. I never saw the big difference. What are you expecting from DS? It is a network of support groups - online. With varying ages and backgrounds.
I dont know who has been to a support group IRL like the one I go to, its led by patients for patients and pretty much all it is is checking in and if someone can help you accept it and if they dont have more to say that "wow thats rough" you politely accept their being with you. DS has a similar style - the groups are not mandated and they dont have specific led goals for "sessions" and if you are really getting frusterated with the responses you are getting not being deep enough you should really reconsider who you are asking advice from. We are only people - sufferers just like you. And we are not trained therapists. We do not have all of the answers.
I'm pretty sure I did NOT say that the "important" members were leaving. "important" is your word.
my issue is with people who post a thread, get replies they didn't want to hear...so they report repeatedly people who do not deserve it. or they resort to emotional blackmail such as--
"well then I just wont post anymore" or "well then I'll just leave"
I fully understand DS is not perfect.....but in my opinion, it's effectiveness is WAY down because people are afraid to reply with words that might really help. ...and because some are not actually here to try and recover, they are just here to bitch and bother and then blackmail people if they don't get the exact words they want in reply.
Anyway, I posted this because I am once again speaking my mind. I try to say things in ways that cause people to wake up and take notice, and I try to do it with kindness and tact, and I know I succeed at that, because many have told me so...even those who don't know me and are not on my friends list.
Yes, people can post the same things every day, the same woes, the same problems, well, if it's fine for them, it's fine for me and others who feel as I do.....let's just see how this goes.
for those who pay attention it might be a real eye opener.
If some people feel they are more important and so full of themselves let them leave. We will still be here and jsut as important as we were before.
"well then I just wont post anymore" or "well then I'll just leave" "
I've never had that issue. I'm sorry if you have, that sucks. But I don't think those kinds of people are the norm here. If someone doesn't want your help, it's not your problem is it? You tried, they didn't want it, move on. Let them live their lives in a world of delusion if that's what they want.
Sometimes people aren't ready for the cold hard truth. Just have to accept that.
In real life, like on DS, some people just don't like the truth. So just don't bother with those people.
When it comes to peoples' fear of being banned or reprimanded by DS, they just need to be careful HOW they say things. You can say the exact same thing in a way that is positive and a way that is negative. I've never known of anyone (though it may have happened) that has been banned because of their OPINION, only because of HOW they put it.
So there we go..
If you're afraid of the backlash, don't be. It's not your problem if someone else is upset by what you have to say.
If you're afraid of being banned, don't be. Just be considerate.
We have all done that individually and in different ways...but we HAVE done it and are very happy for doing it!
It seems like a quite a few members are not interested in learning how to deal with depression and help themselves.
What is it they want....help? or pity.......
Is it right that a support group for depression thinks its ok for its members to consistently post about suicide, how crap their life is and not take advice about how to help themselves? In my opinion...NO, its not ok. Its in my nature to help...and I have personally helped a lot of people....but some people dont want to be helped. If people dont want help....why are they here?
Hugs
x
What is this important people biznaz anyway? Who the heck are these important people?
To both of you!
You are *all* important.
SBoom, you said it well. I'm sure not prefect. I accept that this group is also imperfect. I still think as individuals and as a group we can grow. We can always do better. Complaining helps nothing. We can sharpen each other like swords, instead of running them into each other.
Evolution. Thanks to everyone who is sticking it out - I appreciate your efforts.
I am seeing this attitude on the board, and I saw this from a few people a while back when I used to post. That you can post here with depression, but it must be a certain depression, and not go over certain degrees. If you dont meet the requirements, you are intolerable. I dont think thats right
I also think the "important" thing came about from these mystery important people being called 'some of the best, smartest'.. that does tend to make you think they're important :P
IF YOU FIND IT ANNOYING THAT SOME PEOPLE JUST DON'T "WANT" TO HEAL DON'T BOTHER WITH THOSE PEOPLE! IT IS NOT YOUR PROBLEM IF THEY WANT TO WALLOW IN THEIR PAIN. THERE IS NO NEED TO TRY TO "SHOCK" THEM OUT OF THEIR APATHY OR FORCE THEM TO HEAR THINGS THEY DON'T WANT TO HEAR AND THEREFORE WILL NOT HEAR ANYWAYS.
God, I hate allcaps... but seriously....
I don't know why this concept is so unacceptable.
We're a bit like the blind leading the blind, aren't we?
I love it when someone gets hold of a nugget of something that helped them, and they share it with all of us and we all benefit. That's my idea of what's going on here.