hi there. i'm sorry you struggle so much. i have not been that far disassociated, but i can relate to some of it. i spend a lot of time working on "me"..having a routine that i stick to...listening to inspirational things, watching helpful youtube videos, reading, and going for walks and/or bike ride.

i have been on the spiritual path for many years...my goal to transcend my ego or whatever you want to call it. (enlightenment).... not sure if this makes me feel depressed though, as so much in life seems meaningless.

it's tough to get motivated when you're in it. curious...do you see a therapist? use any meds? are you self-medicating?

ever done any serious trauma work? with a good psychotherapist? again, just curious.

i can say for me, i've gotten through quite a bit of depression...it has become way more manageable...but everyone is different.

would love to know more.

Yes i do see a therapist and i just recently started taking zoloft, i was told I wouldn’t feel much of a difference for the first 2 weeks or so, so im just waiting for those to kick in. I havent done any trauma work. But maybe it would help if i did

It's hard especially during the pandemic to feel that motivation and drive. It's about finding things you enjoy and make you happy and doing them. Give yourself purpose. Create those things in your life

Maree, I have PTSD, which is an anxiety disorder, with depression and panic attacks. Some days are incredibly hard. What helps me is to have a schedule. I schedule activities throughout each day......connecting with friends, chores, meditation, exercise, etc. I schedule a week at a time and keep the schedule posted on my refrigerator. I make sure to get up, shower, get dressed and put my make-up on everyday. It does help me feel better. Celebrate the small victories. Getting out of bed, completing an activity, showering, anything you accomplish.

Disassociation is your brains way of protecting you. I disassociated whenever I feel threatened or triggered. I try to use grounding techniques to stay in the present. However there are times where I can’t control it and end up in disassociation that can last for hours. When I snap out of it, I many times don’t know where I am or how I got there, nor what I was doing. It can be very scary.

I take Zoloft. It normally takes about 6 weeks to notice any effect. Your doctor will increase it in intervals to give your body a chance to adjust. It takes time.
I hope you feel better soon. Wishing you serenity and peace. Best wishes.

i don't know. i'm struggling with same issues.

Trust and confide in your Doctor(s). Plenty of feedback. You need clear and concise diagnostics to be certain of what problems you may have. If you think there is 'more to it' than the Doctors think, bring it up to them. Want to be sure you are chasing all the right rabbits. I predict some good results from the Zoloft. Give it time. If it doesn't do anything for you, tell your Doctor.