Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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Mental Health
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Depressed and overloaded

Anna1212
Anna1212

every day is like 5:45 am to 10pm with maybe an hour or two for leisure which is usually going online and stuffing my face.  this coupled with my ongoing depressing is a knock out.  i really like to be able to come here and vent.  i am also dealing with a very difficult family and in particular having trouble with my sister who is for all intents and purposes a sociopath and narcissist.  this probably isn't the best place to talk about her and all that so i formed another group called dealing with a sociopath or narcissist if anyone is interested in that. it is a special kind of hell dealing with people like that because it's like they aren't even really human in a way.  like the replicants or whatever in blade runner. very creepy.  i'm tired.  i still lay in bed every morning fantasizing about being not alive just so that i don't have to go through what i have to go through every day in addition to depression that fluctuates between sort of mild and completely overwhelming and debilitating.  i'm usually somewhere in the middle.  i am forced to function though to survive like i mean go to work all the time because there is no one else who is going to take care of me. and i have a lot of debt. i have gone to work crying and unshowered and sick and just trashed cuz i know how bad i need to keep some money coming in.  just dragging myself through life for the most part.  today, i am so grateful to be off work and holed up here in my room online ...  quiet.. an hour or two to myself

Justanotherface
Justanotherface
It's so hard to deal with going through the motions. I don't think people realize just how draining it is.
Anna1212
Anna1212
yea, you are right. I know the few times I've been happy, life seems so much easier, all the chores and work and everything... everything is lighter and easier.
OlderCPer
OlderCPer
Sorry your having a tough time. You do know that calling someone a Narcissist and a Sociopath are 2 very different things, right? Its actually a pretty big difference...

A Sociopath is someone who has completely anti-social behavior often which is often criminal. They also lack a sense of moral responsibility or social conscience. Basically someone who can't be fixed and generally if were known to a Professional would be put in a psychiatric ward longterm because they can't be rehabilitated.

As to where if someone is Narcissistic, they basically just really enjoy talking about and hearing about themselves....everything is about them. But they aren't criminally insane.

2 totally different things....
Anna1212
Anna1212
I sort of got that but she is both I think. but yea, I don't really know what I am talking about. I didn't think a sociopath had to be criminal though. I just thought they had to not have a conscience or any real feeling or empathy for others. she has both of those things. is that possible?
Community LeaderWanderingVet
WanderingVet
so·ci·o·path
ˈsōsēōˌpaTH/Submit
noun
a person with a personality disorder manifesting itself in extreme antisocial attitudes and behavior and a lack of conscience.

Which COULD include criminality.

But, this is about YOU, not your sister. I don't know the details ... so am very restricted in advice I can give. Basically, .. if you find yourself in a hole, .. get out of it. Sorry to be trite. If your sister is so much a part of the problem, ... dissociate from her. Otherwise, it is a vicious circle.
whatswrong19
whatswrong19
hey Wendy I have moments where I fantasize about not be alive anymore so I dont have to put up with all I have to put up with on a daily basis, work life is hell, I'm a social worker for child protective services, and it is extremely frustrating to say the least. sometimes I think it would be better to just be dead than to have to do this everyday for a living. I take all kinds of medication to help me get through my days. If I didn't have Buddhism, I don't know what I would do, cause there certianly not a God out there who gives a crapp, who helps in any way. I've tried that route, NOTHING, NO"THING and more NOTHING in that area. but I won't get into that to much, mylife is me getting through one nightmare after another, but Buddhism teaches that this is what life is, and we have to get through it until we are able to escape
whatswrong19
whatswrong19
and before anyone says find another job, I'VE TRIED, I KEEP TRYING until my depression wins, then i stop for awhile and try just to maintain, to not smoke, to not do anything crazy, finding another job is not that easy, unless I just want to take the first thing offered, I want out of CPS period, and it's not an easy move to make, and when you add the depression in, plus I have a criminal history, well just not so easy to job hop
OlderCPer
OlderCPer
Its just really weird to hear someone say their family member is a Sociopath as that behaviour is not usually diagnosed until they've done something awful (usually criminal). You know like serial killers tend to be Sociopaths.

I have a sister who is a clear pain in the ass Narcissist and I don't care for her very much, but I'd never call her a Sociopath. She's all about her, and making her look good when what she's doing generally isn't and loves for someone else to take the blame....but ummm no not a Sociopath.

From your post it sounds like you and your Sister haven't lived together, is it possible to make that arrangement again? Or if you're stuck living with her for a time, can you just ignore her and go about your own life? Many times with people like that if they don't get the "energy" they want from razzing you, they go find another victim.....how well can you ignore her?
bridgie101
bridgie101
Good on you wendy for clawing your way through. I clawed my way through some bad years and have come out, finally (whew!) with a newfound self respect I had never had before, and it's something nobody can take away from me. I hope you come to the end of this process and figure out the solution.

Rooting for you. Bridgie.
bridgie101
bridgie101
Older Cper I think there are a lot more sociopaths out there than merely the ones in prison. I hear a lot of entrepreneurs are sociopaths. At the top of the business world are a lot of sociopaths. It takes a kind of switch-out to gamble the pensions of 5,000 people on a whim that most people don't possess. So the OP could easily have a sociopathic sister without the sister having gone to jail. I remember my father (psychologist) talking about sociopaths when he was alive, and how most of them were never identified because they stayed within the rules of society simply for convenience (ie don't murder your neighbour because you'll go to jail). But put them all in a 'lord of the flies' scenario and they all come out and eat each other.
OlderCPer
OlderCPer
@bridgie101: I know a bit about Sociopaths, I have a Ph.d in Clinical Psychology....they aren't as fervent in the world as one might think, generally because they don't do well living in the standard confines people have set up in this world. I didn't tell her they would all be in prison, I used Serial Killers as an example of the Type of Person who would have a truly Sociopathic Personality.
djchurn
djchurn
We have similar MOs for dealing with depression. Especially like you reference to replicants, AKA "skin jobs". the author (PK Dick) had his own issues but this is not one of better books ("Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep"). The is another metal health tie to the movie. The "Turing Test" used to identify skin jobs is named after a famous British gay scientist who being discredited for his orientation committed suicide.
4nkrgg
4nkrgg
If we could meet face to face I’d give you an embrace that would let you know for sure you are loved. I’d tell you that our lives aren’t supposed to be lived overwhelmed and overloaded. Life was not meant to be this way. But, unfortunately, for most of us, it is. I, too, was depressed, overwhelmed, and only wanted to escape this so-called life. I can relate to your feelings. But, now, I can tell you for sure that life has a meaningful purpose that can only be found in Christ. It’s also my belief it was the only way I could have gotten out of the mess I was in, and to this day still believe the only way I have experienced love, meaning, and purpose that we all desperately need. It’s not a picture-perfect, happy-face, flowery-talk kind of experience, because there will still be struggles, and circumstances in our lives. That remains. But knowing where to go to find answers for questions we have, and to find the strength to pull us through difficult times, gives us the answers we need. Not what we think the answers are or should be, but answers that will leave us with a sense of peace when we listen and apply it. Please know I sincerely hope you find the same way I did -- out of this chaos of a world and choose to know a better way in Him. I’d be more than happy to try & answer questions you might have. But it’s up to you; it’s your choice. May God bless you.
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