I used to be a a pretty thriving support group, which did fall apart.  I would spend time with some of the members in it.  My family is pretty dysfunctional, so they helped me a lot in this regard.  

I recently got back in touch with one of the people that I knew pretty well.  But now I realize why I fell out of touch with her. I feel like she is pretty commanding and bossy.  She was pretty much making a demand that I cut off what support I do have in my life. This really upset me.  I have had several friends for a long time, and yes I have had conflicts with some of them, but I would like to work some of this out.  She had something negative to say about just about everyone in my life-that my friend that I went to the comedy club with was purposely running up a tab to take advantage of me financially.  That one of my best friends who tried to set me up with her brother in law was doing so maliciously and purposefully because she wanted to offload the problem of him off on me.  (He had turned out to be a jerk later).  She thinks I also need to cut of this couple that are like surrogate parents to me and have been there for me for a long time. There have been some tensions there, but I think it's going to be ok. I met with them lastnight and things seemed to be a little better.  She told me to cut them off, too.

All of this really upset me. She was very adamant that all of these people, whom I've known for years, are bad actors, terrible malicious people who are out to get me.  While yes there have been some issues, I don't think it's all horrible and doom and gloom. I also don't like being told what to do, who I will and won't see.  She also tried to persuade me to leave my current employment and work for her cleaning company as a cleaning lady-?  This was the initial rift that led me to stop calling her.  She was really bent on having me work for her as a cleaning lady and use my car in her business.  She was so incredibly pushy about it that I just stopped calling. I thought it was weird.  At her house when she was trying to persuade me to cut off everyone who is important to me, she started pushing this cleaning lady thing again. Why?  I have an education and a profession, so why would I be a cleaning lady? 

I guess I wanted to stay in touch with the people from the support group as I still need support in regards to my family.  But, there are times I wondered if I was in some kind of weird cult.  She was so adamant that I do all of these things, and it frankly scared me and took me off guard.  The visit had gone well, and at the end she came out with this proclamation that I need to clean out my friend group and trash them all. 

In therapy, one of the things that we are working on is autonomy.  I feel like I have lost a lot of that to very controlling people.  One recently in my life was like this and I stopped hiking with her.  She would get angry and freak out whenever I had other plans or was doing other things.  I've let that go.  It seems like I have a tendency to get involved with commanding and borderline abusive people.