I would say finding my father and his gay lover in bed after I had read some letters and knew about their relationship. I told my mom and she refused to leave him...she said next time keep the letter and show me proof. I was devastated and at the same time disgusted for a long time ...also my father denied everything said I was making it up. I knew the truth...so I would say the loneliness, lack of support and not being truthful was the worst...not the actual "gay" I realized he had to hide in a marriage because he would have been shunned for coming out. So now I am less angry and I understand what he did but still it was very very very difficult. I feel we should be accepting of ALL people because society judgment can hurt a lot of people. I also think I was meant to deal with gay issues because my friend died from cancer and I help with her kids and one of the children has expressed being gay and I support her and tell her I just want her to be happy and be free to be happy. I hope that she is!

I'm not sure,could be 1 of many things.How about to wake up to a belt,being windmilled by my dad for peeing the bed.Not getting to go on summer vacations like my other to brothers because you were being punished for blowing your nose in a hand towel in bathroom when there wasnt no TP.Then having aunt calling my dad and mom telling them that 1 of there kids masterbater in it.I was getting beat around for it because i said i blew my nose in it.I was 7 or 8.I didnt even know what masterbation was.So every summer after that I had to stay home and do all the chores,while my brothers were on summer vacation.Maybe it was the time my birthday was coming up and I want ed this bike for almost a yr.I figured because my brother got a new bike in APRILI was gonna get1.So its FEB and everyday after school i went to look at my bike.My bithday I got it and I loved it.When my brother rode it he showed my dad and mom how much easier it was to ride then mine.So they made me trade with him.So on my birthday I got his bike which was 10 months of falling and scatched up bike and he got mine.Really I hate those people and can never fogive my dad for leaving me with a hooker 100s of miles away.

what fucked me up most was being raped...again and again and again...but i think that would fuck up anyone......so i supppose never being loved by my parents...that's what fucked me up most.

physical, emotional and mental abuse by my mother. Being adopted and dealing with racial stuff on my own. Most days I'm past it...other days, not so much.

Probable that my mum never let me go out and play with friends, or never took me to the doctors [even when I was hurt] Because of these two things, I'm a extreme hermit and tend to not take care of my own health.

HUGS

I'll have to come back and read these, as I am an old fucktard now and need to go to bed ...... but ....... they are very interesting, great thread.

I was told i was a mistake - never should have been born. My mom first started beating me with her fists when I was still a baby in my crib. The was the start of my lovely childhood. later I got whipped with belts, branches, my own toys even ........ when my mom couldn't catch me anymore, she threw sharp knives, and scalding hot tea and coffee. In my teen years it was emotional trauma.

That stuff fucked me up.

By the way, you don't scare Me, Beast!!!! MWAH!! XXXXXXXXX

The stuff that wrecked my life and still wrecks my life is too awful to mention. Sorry----but thanks for asking.

Let's see...I could write a book, but the one that sticks out the most, would be my birth father back handing my mom across the living room, rendering her unconscious, when I was about 5....and then of course slapping me around because I happened to win the Chutes and Ladders game...fucked up, right?

As an older child and adult, it was all my mom's rejecting me, and throwing verbal punches whenever she got the chance. Maybe I reminded her of her ex (my birth father)

Now you all know why I am such a nut case....and a half!

Feeling abandoned by both parents left me feeling unwanted. It has shaped so many relationships. It kept me from telling when my eldest cousin molested me, because I thought of him as a friend, and I did not want him to get in trouble. Then he'd abandon me too, if he was mad at me.

It's affected me to the point I've put up with all sorts abuse, including my marriage.

You see, when my parents divorced, my dad sent my mom away. He was in the military, young, a partier, so he sent my sis & I away to his family while he traveled. That's when the molestation happened. He did it three times.

I was the clingy, needy one. During the times we were with my dad, I was always afraid he'd leave someday, and never come back, just like my mom.

What was the most fucked up shit that happened to me as a Child?! Physical Abuse by my adoptive parents. I'd like to see that shit happen in the world THESE DAYS! Those scumbags would be behind bars for a very long time if they tried doing that shit today what they did back then! God Will Avenge Me...And real soon. I still have my Dignity! They can't take that away from me! (Ain't that a Song?!). My adoptive parents are very old now and show no remorse for what they did. They will take their Guilt all the way to their deathbeds, the sick and sorry bastards that they are! I hope they die and just get it over with!

Being violated by a fucking stranger...That's what

Sorry...I am not trying to be an asshole...seriously

my childhood was pretty damn Idyllic....up until I was about 12 or so.....then my parents basically checked out....

Mom started drinking habitually, and Dad was constantly working, so we took care of ourselves mostly (my brother and I).

Problem was...we still needed attention and raising....

That's about the time I started getting good at patting my own back.

Rape, bullying, being a dumb, ugly fuck up and having that pointed out to me by everyone...

Doctors telling me I was deformed, teachers telling me I was stupid, my classmates beating the crap out of me and telling me I was an ugly freak. Father never around apart from for arguements.

Trying to deal with it all inside and being a child, learning to believe it is all my fault and I am failure, a monstrosity that I deserve to hide rather than to experience joy...

Same old same...

This was a really interesting post. In reading the responses, it sure seems like the trials put to us in our childhood has most certainly contributed to shaping who we are today, and how we deal with stuff, and why.

It was probably tough for some to relive the things that messed them up as a child, but I am so impressed with how many were so forthcoming, and honest. This was a great post! Thanks beastie, and I hope that it was cathartic for some of you, as it was for me.