Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I was in a relationship for two years with someone who I really cared about. I have anxiety so I was constantly seeking reassurance that I was wanted. I never wanted him to be in something he didn't want to be in. We have had our ups and downs because I make a lot of comments about how I think people take advantage of his kindness and his mother being overbearing at times I was with him. We have been rocky because of this and I have threatened to break up with him. He always asked me if we would be friends. He tried breaking up with me via phone when I was waiting for him to hangout. I think he was upset that I initially told him not to go on an important trip because I wanted to meet his family as well since I was looking for more of a commitment. He agreed we could go in a few months. Ever since that initial time I encouraged him to go and even offered to pay for part of a ticket. He said we could work on the relationship and he went on his trip. While he was gone we made plans and talked about doing another trip. He even said next time he will take me to meet his family. About an hour before we were supposed to hangout when he got back he sent me an email saying he was unhappy and he didn't know how else to do this because I have threatened to hurt myself in the past. He said we would meet in person in a few weeks and he asked me not to contact his family or coworkers or him. I have never been more depressed. Not about the breakup but the fact that a human being who has been my rock and always been so caring would suddenly treat me like this and be ok. I don't get it. I feel like shit and a piece of garbage. He told me he would always be there for me and I still believe him. This is not the person he is. He has done everything for me and in that way I feel guilty. He has taken care of me through all my mental health issues and back pain. I feel like I owe him a check. So I hate myself and I guess I hate him. I don't get how a caring soul would act like this?????????????? I've sent him so many emails even though he said we should go not contact for a few weeks. I spent two hours crying last night. He never even gave me a chance or called me after he sent his breakup email. :(((((( I have no closure. I can't stop crying. I hope he will contact me and keep his word. I wonder if he told his mom he was unhappy like he has in the past and she encouraged this behavior because she is protective of him and he bashed me. That was my fear. He would never treat me like this. He would cry when I would cry.
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I'm horrified! I knew my insurance would go up due to getting a new car but I didn't expect it to go up over $2,000. I did have an accident with the snow/ice in the winter. I was just telling my brother that I have had my car since March 2, 2026 and have only spent $75 on an oil change. Now this! I called another insurance company and their quote was over $4,000. I guess I have to pay...
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We all have 24 hours in a day. How we spend these hours is important. Watching a little bit of a video about how sitting affects us made me aware of how much sitting and laying down I do. Gonna have to work on that.Your turn. Tell me another truth.
SORRY 2 READ IT.
R U NEW HERE?
GBU
DB
;-O
Who did he lean on?
You can't support your own weight, and someone else's weight, forever. They have to carry their own weight. Especially in a love affair. Especially if you want a relationship that includes children.
I went to a global leadership summit the other day - if you ever get a chance to go to one, go. They are eye opening.
one of the talks was about shame. She was a shame researcher.
When we feel shame we reach out for any story we can fabricate to make the shame go away. The problem with our wiring is that it will go away just as well with a lie, as it will with the truth. And we will lock a lie in there, which we will then go and use in our lives, and perpetuate our vulnerability to shame. For as long as we misdiagnose the causes of our experiences, we will continue to have to endure them.
What we have to do when we feel shame is just experience it mindlessly, silently, without making up explanations. It's really hard to do. the next best trick is to at least acknowledge that we are doing this.
Stop writing him emails. Just stop trying to communicate with him. Wait till the shame has passed. Then you will be able to think straight. Right now you're just reacting to your own stress by dumping on him. It won't work. Each time he does not respond your stress will increase because you will have been rejected again.
Give yourself and him a bit of space.
You appear to be feeling that he has a responsibility to make allowances for your disorders even when dumping you.
This isn't so. The dump is the final thing. The ending. He has no further responsibility towards you.
He has made allowances for you during the relationship but he now has the obligations towards you of a stranger. it's humiliating, it's devastating, it's personal. There is nothing more personal than being given the kick. It is pure agony, and very character forming.
Having experienced it myself and nearly died of it, I have to say that it was the making of me, and I learned more about myself from one massive rejection than I ever have in the forty years before it.
So take the right lessons from this. Endure the pain, and then you will find life again. at 27 you are hardly on the shelf. Try 45. ;)
DS has a great breakups and divorce board that you may want to check out: http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Breakups-Divorce/support-group.
I think, as people here have said, as devastating as it is you have to stop contacting him. Every time you email him and he doesn't respond you are retraumatized by the rejection. Honor his request and give him some space.
Sometimes prolonged no contact after a breakup is all you can do to heal and recover. The more time you spend trying to contact tor contacting them, the harder you are making it for yourself to move on.
You are 27, that is quite young. I had pretty much only dated assholes at that age. I got dumped a lot. I learned that there is always "Next," the next opportunity, the next person you will meet. Even at 39 I believe this.
Give yourself all the time and pace you need to heal first and remember this will pass and he will one day be only an unpleasant memory.