Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I'm feeling like a wreck lately. It appears that I've got it together: I have a full time job, a house and a car, clothes to wear, food to eat, family, a boyfriend. But I feel like it can unravel at any moment, just as soon as somebody finds one of the loose threads.
But I take a lot of sick days. I rely on some anti anxiety PRNs to get through the days I show up. Then I'm in a haze. My house is filthy, disorganized, cluttered, ignored. No matter how much I keep up with washing the dishes the ants find their way across the countertop. My clothes get cleaned but never put away nearly. My boyfriend harbored a secret desire to move out for weeks if not months because he can't take it. I don't know what will happen if I don't begin to come out of this severe depressive episode.
I need help.
I haven't discussed my illness with anyone at work. One of the supervisors (not my direct manager) has seen me on a bad day when I was just constantly teary-eyed, ready to sob and break down, and she let me sit at a desk alone to do quiet work instead of my usual task of dealing with nearly every client that walks through the door. I couldn't speak to anyone or else risk bawling uncontrollably, so I wrote her a note and that was that.
But it has been months of stress, deeper depression, worsening symptoms. I'm working on finding a doctor nearby but haven't had a visit yet. I've handled nutrition to the best of my ability, sleep routine followed very well, and vastly increased my exercising. I'm proud of these things, sure, but why aren't they enough?
So something's got to give.
Who do I approach? What do I say? I feel more comfortable writing as communication than face to face talking, because at this point I'll only cry and cry. I want to ask to change my schedule. The 40 hour week is killing me. I also think the different start times are wreaking havoc. (Some days are 7am start, other days I don't start until noon!)
Does anyone have anything to share about talking with your employer about making adjustments and accommodations for your health?
Thanks for reading.
-
Hi All.... It's great to see all of the new people joining the site... I'm loving it!!...smileI'm not sure if people are aware that if you don't have Bipolar Disorder but have a loved one who has the disorder we do have a board for people to go to in order to share their experiences and seek friendship, support or adviseIt's the Friends and Family of Bipolar Board.... I hope you'll take a...
Secondly: I get where you are coming from. I have had spirals of depression where I stop texting my friends as much, I don't go outside unless my mom needs me to walk the dog, I don't even work on art. I just sit in my room or in my basement feeling completely miserable, like I'm about to cry. I have to force myself to shower too.
The first thing I would say is talk to your boyfriend about your depression. That way he knows it's not really your fault that the house gets messy sometimes. (As for the ants, figure out where they are coming from and spray raid and any sealant on the area). To get the house clean, have a motivational checklist of about 3 things you want to get done each day.
With your employer, I recommend that you schedule a time to meet with them and talk to them about it. Tell them the truth.
I'm only 16...but I really hope this helped!
Know you are not alone in these things. I have to motivate myself daily...even to go to the natheoom, some times.
Don't fear you co-workers. Some of them might have similar issues. They might be able to relate. Let someone in. It did wonders for me.
Many prayers
And now is all you have. Hope this helps. Hugs.
Last night my boyfriend and I had a long talk with many many emotions and deeply felt and thought things that had not been said came out into the open.
I'm still emotional but at the same time I feel calm and nearly numb, like I'm just ignoring it so I can get through work today...
Well, easy is a relative term... :D But it certainly can turn around. And you need it to.
Badluckandtrouble isn't trolling: he/she is saying what I would say about work, depending on the workplace. If you have a progressive workplace with an HR team - go talk to them. That HR person will be trained in assisting you to get counselling if required, and certainly help you through how to sort out things with your boss. They're fantastic.
But if you're in something more old fashioned that is not as keen to appear employee friendly - then do not ever tell, unless you have a good relationship with your line manager, and can trust that person to accept what you are saying and understand it.
I'm really glad you got a talk with the BF - that always helps. Not always immediately, but learning where things are at, talking, expressing problems always shifts them. Slowly is good. Carefully. You can always say the thing tomorrow, but you can't undo what you said yesterday. :D
I hope it goes well. It was awful when I had it, and it lasted over a year. Antidepressants, leaving the workplace where I lived in fear was good, and getting closer to the equator. I was having a really bad time getting through the winters.
Once your under the care of a good Pdoc, they can give you advice and notes (if needed) on how to talk to your employer about changing your work schedule. They can help you learn healthy coping skills to deal with your depression. They can talk with you about medication and decide if that's something that might help you. There are many different things to discuss and the Pdoc can help you figure out the path to get on to face the depression and start treating it.
Take care,
Here's more of my story. I've been around the block. Medications? Tried almost all. Every class. Multiple types. Combinations. Off label alternatives. Everything failed. Eventually they decided to try electroconvulsive therapy. I suffered amnesia as a side effect after 30 treatments, and once that therapy stopped, so did the good days. I have tried and tried and tried. I have come to accept that life for me just means lots of suffering.