Im sorry but at times it does seem that DS are selective about who is banned or warned.I have seen some awful stuff on here and the member hasnt been banned at all and has been free to roam the boards and call evryone for everything just because we may not have agreed with them. Then ive seen people be warned over far less than what the roamers have done so of course it makes no sense to us. If its a fair system then no one is complaintng...its just that most of us dont think it is.

Faraway- I get it. It's all good.
Personally I think the only thing that should warrant automatic banning is threats. Making harmful or bodily threats towards another person shouldn't even have to get a warning, they should be banned immediately.

Warnings should be given to continued harassment, especially when done through PM's. Give that a person a chance to stop, then if they don't- see ya later.

You said that you respond to complaints which is fair enough but sometimes there are people that incite others to get that reason to report. I dont know how you decide things but surely, talking to the person accused first without warning them or banning is much fairer than taking the reportees word for it? ie: look at the pms, hugs and posts regarding BOTH sides because yes...many many times it has looked like you have only seen one side of the story. Just a suggestion which im sure most would agree with :)

I agree. Jloz herself pointed out that the person who reported her, deleted all their own nasty messages first so it would make it look like it was all one-sided, when Jloz was simply trying to defend herself after being attacked.

I agree with Kate. So my questions would be.

1. Do you only ban members who you receive complaints on?

2. Do you take into consideration both sides and give the accused party someone to explain the situation to?

3. You say it is too time consuming to look everything up, but with your history option it is fairly quick to see a users activity.

I think the biggest problem is, there are people that report people all the time. If DS bans members on the basis of such reports without researching it, that is why so many are banned without just cause. And then you have the opposite, people who don't believe in reporting people, so they ignore and the person being abusive never gets banned.

I'm just trying to figure out how it works. My account has been deleted without warning along with other people. Is this just a glitch?

My other issue would be the people that just antagonize until they make someone lose their cool. Than they report them.

Of course it isn't easy for you or the staff. And we do not know the full procedure of someone getting banned. Could you possibly write out an outline of how someone gets banned. 1 warning, 2 warnings etc. Are they notified on the day their account is going too be closed?

Doug, I think people are just trying to understand. We see alot of good people banned. And we see alot of antagonistic people stay and berate people. So if banning is based on reporting only, I guess that would explain why.

Thank you for this site Doug, for the most part it is great. I know your job must get overwhelming. Just know that most of us realize this and do not blame you for the issues. You just happen to be the only one we have that's real. The regular abuse button gives you the basic generic reply which of course is understandable. But we know you are the only one that is actually going to respond in person.

I really would love to see something in writing explaining the bannning process. I think this would help many of us understand.

Thank you for your time,
Have a great day!!!

Thank you so much for DS it did SAVE ME.

I love D.S. and love you Doug for giving it to us!

The only people that I've had a problem with on this site are the minors. I think that it would be better if there were an age requirement for some of the communities here. Being a parent... I think minors shouldn't be chatting with adults on this site. This is especially true in the "Healthy Sex" and the "Breakups and Divorces" communities. It just makes adult members uncomfortable to be asked advice by a minor. Much of the language and subject matter in these communities is inappropriate for minors and that has been my only concern. I have no idea how you would accomplish that, but just thought I'd throw it out there for the heck of it. ;) lol

Thanks for everything Doug. You and your crew are doing a great job with D.S.!!!

Doug & the DS staff,
I have read the history, mission, core values, guidelines, funding sources, bios of the founders & contributing professionals & as such, try to live up to those standard. I have the utmost respect for your non-profit organization.

I can really only speak for myself. DS has been a lifesaver & a lifeline for me in my darkest hour. I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for all that you & your DS staff have done for me personally.
Jazz

I try to ignore the hostile/negative posts as much as possible, I wish that others would do so as well. I think that if no one responds to these posts than maybe they will stop being posted. I will really think about this one, because I would hate anything to happen to DS, I enjoy this sight and know that it helps a lot of people, including myself in postitive ways...i just told my therapist about it and she was really excited to check it out so that she could reccomend it to some of her patients. (((hugs))) if i have any cool ideas, I will send you a PM....thanks for everything.

Why does chat only block the words bitch and ass?

you should join our discussions more often..:) thanks for all you do!

It would be nice to see a DS staff member check the board at least once daily to "see for yourselves" what is going on. Thanks for all you do, Doug. Oh, need a hug??????

No angry mail from me~!
I'm happy with the DS site in general, and the banning of people is not my concern in the slightest.

Frankly, I wish people would stop sending complaints to you guys, and figure out how to deal on their own. It's a website, not a live group therapy session. Geez.

Doug is partially talking to me. As you can see Doug, several members have been banned without a warning.

Consider talking with those you ban to get both sides of the story. You talk about that enough.

lol@ bitch and ass, shreckie.

solution...quit all the whiney baby reporting.

unless someone threatens u bodily.....of course..or PM spammers.

i'm sorry..but y'all firing off all these complaints to Doug for every little argument or imagined "slight" is SEROIUSLY threatening the OPEN forum we have here.

do we TRULY, as adults...need a moderator???

i've said before, and will a million times..there is NO WAY anyone, at anytime..under any circumstances...FORCES u to open a thread, let alone continually ENGAGE in it.

i've been"accused" of harassing...just because i'll come back and add my 8 cents to a DEBATE, tell me..plz...how is that POSSIBLE if someone comes back to "see" what i have to say? ummm, hel-lo!

we DIDNOT have this problem until the last few months...all this reporting, and whining that THIS person or THAT person is getting "all" the attention! it's like pre-school in here sometimes.

u don't like me? avoid me. don't "engage" me. this is SO beyond simple, people.

do y'all REALLY...TRULY..want all the constraints put on DS??? do you REALLY wanna force Doug to try and enforce all this crap with unrealistic rules...that will CLOSE all the mouths that are DOING all this whining?

you people are shooting yourselves in your own foot.

we used to even have a measure of affection for our "pet" trolls. lol now? even longtime members like me are being bitched about.

OPEN FORUM! IGNORE! USE YOUR COMMON SENSE! and MOST important, quit all the dang WHINING! ugh!!!!!

oh, and Doug???? may i suggest a "paranoia" community or perhaps a "DOUG IS OUT TO GET ME!" community?????? lol :P

and i really AM due another hug, Doug....i SO earn it up in here. lolololol