Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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amandasmith
amandasmith
i hate myself so much. i don't want to even look in the mirror. i cant help my son at all bc i cant work due to bipolar and a back condition. i have daily suicidal thoughts and i don't do it only bc i dont want to go to hell. i am so miserable and wish it would all end. i dont want to get out of bed or shower or put on makeup. i just don't care anymore about anything, i wish i would die.
oldkittycat
oldkittycat
You do care and you do not realize it about yourself. You said, you do not want to go to hell. That is hugh right there. that is a sign there is hope, maybe buried right now, in depression and the thoughts you are having, but a 'sign' to hold on to. each new moment, is one more you have made it. Just over whelmed right now, and what u r feeling has control of you. You are so much more than this...worth so much more. and deserving. Vent here.
lizaradley
lizaradley
I'm sorry you're feeling so low. You matter and you are worthy of love. Especially from you. I hope that things get better soon.
heatherhurts
heatherhurts
How are you feeling today? Any better? I know the feelings you are having. It is like being sucked into a black hole. I can really relate to the aversion to showers, appearance, and getting out of bed.

Are you getting any help from a doc/therapist? I cannot be as honest with my doc as I am on this board. Does it make you feel ashamed? It makes me feel ashamed and then I beat myself up over it. Please put down the hammer and pick up a feather.

I admire your honesty. How old is your son? Do you have a support system?

Please give yourself time to feel better. I am so sorry you are feeling so low. Here's some good vibes coming your way. I hope the super dark depression lets up on you.

(((((HUGS)))))
peterthegreat
peterthegreat
There are alot of ways to make money. Look at Youtube. There are alot of videos teach one how to make money. YOu can find oppunities
on facebook too.
Hell is just people imagin. From people who have a near death experiences. They said after they die, they went to a warm and peacefull place.
bridgie101
bridgie101
The question is does your son want you dead? How would you feel if your mother was saying what you're saying right now?

I imagine in some manic episodes you have done/said things that worry you when you think of your son? You think maybe you have been harmful to him? Is that why you want to be dead?

I think it would be sensible to get counselling instead. suicidal thoughts are just your brain coming up with a global solution to your problems. it doesn't mean that's what you're obliged or destined or even wanting to do. You just can't think what else to do. So go to a counsellor and see what ideas that person has. They do degrees in this stuff, and they have wonderful ideas that you will never think of on your own.

find a counsellor, get your medication stabilised, and then see where things are at. :)
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