So it is the end of the year, I can say objectively it has not been a good one at all.  It's exactly a year to the day that I graduated with my Master's, and am still unemployed/underemployed. Yes, that is correct, an entire year. I didn't start looking for work until April because of recovering from an injury, still that is nine months of looking for a job.  I got my degree in a facet of computer science. It is totally devastating to me to realize this massive effort to educate myself and improve my life has amounted to absolutely nothing.  I see other people graduating this fall with computer science degrees, I'm assuming that they are getting work and I am jealous as hell. I've stopped going to my professional networking group, it's useless. 

Financial issues have been off the chain this year. I've probably made under 20k, if that, doing substitute teaching, which has honestly been terrible in some respects and I almost lost that job, it is not sustainable for me. I recently got a second job doing some freelancing, it's ok but I can't get the hours that I need because their website is glitchy so I'm losing hours. I did manage to make a few hundred extra dollars. 

My mom has fallen twice this year-broke her hip in February, then broke her ribs, collapsing her lung. She's been in two rehab facilites now, totaling about three months of not living at home.  Due to my situation, I am currently dependent upon her, renting her Air B and B for a reduced rate. If I could not do this I would be homeless, I'm really not kidding.  Rents are very high in my area.

My beloved car had issues so I traded it, a huge mistake. It looks as though I was sold a car that has a bad catalytic converter and I am absolutely stuck with this loan. The dealer refuses to help. The engine light is constantly going on and I'm in and out of the mechanic all the time. I could have fixed my old car for this, had I known.  My aim is to trade this out ASAP, I know the car that I want.

I've decided to pivot. I told myself that if no job materialized by the end of the year that I was done with sending out resumes with no response. I am not exaggerating when I say I spend hours and hours after work sumbitting resumes, maybe hundreds, that are never responded to.  I can't even get an interview. I joined this manifesting group which is ok, and I've been doing visualization and affirmations. But I have to face the fact that at some point it is magical thinking. I do believe in manifestation, but as of right now, let's be real no job has manifested.

So, after talking to a helpline in my area they suggested that I try vocational rehab, I was accepted due to technically having a disability to to migraines. I guess they can put me in front of employers and possibly get me some interviews. A friend of mine also has my resume and has been talking to people to see if he can get me an interview for postitions that are not posted at his university. We shall see.

I refuse to spend yet another year just spending hours and hours per week submitting resumes. This is going absolutely nowhere. I'm going to pivot and take this online course where I can branch into a related field called Learning Design, I'd never heard of it before, but it's related to my degree. There is a special going on where I can get the license to the software and build some projects. There is the possibility that I can teach at the college level as well, I did see some open positions that I am qualified for. I really don't want to teach anymore, but I'm pretty sure college teaching would be different than working with young kids. I used to teach older high school and some adults, and for one college in my area this would qualify me.  Dating has proved almost insurmountable. For me even with older men it seems like people are looking either for casual situationships or hookups. The last guy that's all he could talk about s*x, could not get off the topic long enough to even plan the date.  I hate to bemoan my situation, but I honestly wonder how my parents' generation did it. People were able to find jobs, keep them sustainably, employment and relationships seemed so much more solid for the older generation, and back then I never heard of people splitting up.  People managed to find partners and stay committed, and all without dating apps or the internet.  At least it seems that way.  I think radical acceptance might be a good thing here.