I feel like I have to too. This sucks. I suck though because I'm too scared to do it and fail and end up getting stuck in the hospital. Idk how to do it to make sure it works.

I ATTEMPTED SUICIDE TWICE IN 1969 OVER THE SAME GUY.
HE'S DEAD.
HE HAD A HEART ATTACK 2-15-2008 IN HIS BASEMENT.
NO ONE KNEW ABOUT MY ATTEMPTS.
OBVIOUSLY THEY FAILED.
I M HAPPILY MARRIED TO SOMEONE I MET 9 YEARS LATER.
WE JUST CELEBRATED OUR 35TH ANNIVERSARY ON 12-26-13.
I HAD BRAIN SURGERY IN 2009.
HUBBY HAD OPEN HEART SURGERY ON 9-13-13.
WE BOTH WANT TO LIVE!
;-]

There was a time when I wanted to commit suicide.
I figured that if you can't take the pain anymore, than what can you do but die? It hurt so much. It was tempting to kill myself b/c I hurt SO MUCH !

I don't know anymore what happens to people who commit suicide,
But tonight I learned what happens to the people who are survivors when a loved one commits suicide.
Check it out, please.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zvkbHIrrrvU

I am too scared to die to commit suicide. I could never to it. But I still hurt so much. I don't know what to do with myself. Sometimes I play card games with my mom and that can sort of help distract me a little bit. But my job makes things so much worse. I don't know what will happen next, but I sure am scared. Terrified actually.

EVER SINCE MU HUBBY HAD OPEN HEART 4WAY BYPASS SURGERY ON 9-10-13, I M MORE DETERMINED TO LIVE. IT WOULD B VAIN TO WANT 2 DIE AND MY HUBBY LIVE AFTER ALL HE HAS BEEN THRU. ;-] GBU

I just need to decide how and when. Soon I know.

I'm not afraid to die. And I'm not worried about the survivors. I don't have a husband or children. My parents are gone. It would hurt my sibs some and make them angry, but they would be fine. My friends would also be hurt, but they would be fine, too.
It's not that "permanent solution to a temporary problem" kind of bs. I'm just so tired. Tired of trying to live. Tired of pretending. So damned depressed and so damned tired of being so damned depressed. At 58, it's not like I'd be throwing a whole life away. I've lived my life and now I'm ready to go. I can't do it to myself, but I sure plead with God a lot to take me.

There are people who would miss you for sure. Don't let the devil get the best of you.

No one would care.

Why do you have to decide soon? I feel the same way, but is there something that is pressuring you to do it soon?

And the "devil" doesn't make us kill ourselves. Idk why people would even say that.

Why do you HAVE to do it??? Why soon???? Why don't you let us support you here? Tell us what is and has gone on. I'm sure you feel that things won't get any better, but maybe a different perspective could help. Your life could not possibly be more messed up than mine!!!!! I PROMISE YOU THAT. Somehow, I'm still here. That's not to say that I don't often feel like checking out, I most certainly do. Talk to us. If not here in the open, then msg me or some kind soul on here.

Same goes for you LoveAlice!!!!

I know the feeling all too well. I also know most times we don't really want to die, but to quit suffering.

You reached out for help. That means somewhere deep inside you have a glimmer of hope. A faint desire to live left.

Let us help you. Reach out and tell us what is going on. When we are depressed and/or in a crisis, it is hard to see things objectively. Our emotions are on edge and they take over blurring our perception of things.

Let us help you see if maybe you're missing something, some source of hope you may be blinded to by your emotions.

We care here. We understand. Give us a chance to help you.

Message me or post please. Don't let a disease blind you to all the potential for hope in your life.

We're here for you!!

Yes, we reach out and share because we desperately want to hang on and make it to a better place. I'm doing that right at this moment -- and it is a moment-by-moment reality of sharing and by sharing I am keeping my life going. I've been shoved for eleven years, with severe disability, through the cracks of support until I am covered with embedded splinters from all of the harm inflicted. My life has been tossed out in the garbage and lid slammed shut on top for emphasis -- but I am holding on. There is a lot to be said for moment-by-moment and so many of us know the experience all too well -- but it works and sharing keeps a lot of us alive to tell about it. I'm there, moment-by-moment, at this moment...

...and the next and the next.