Wow, he's 95 years old and been living with that injury for that many years. I can't imagine living to be 95 years old, but with my bad luck it will probably happen. Yeah I can go back to some sort of local delivery job. The only problem with all of that is that it will not provide me with enough income to move back out of my moms house again. She is cool with me staying here (been here for almost 2 years now) but it's not really a good situation. I've been looking into buying a tavel trailer and putting it on my brothers property in Vancouver Washington. I can live in one of those and they only cost 12k. I can probably work part time somewhere and make enough money to live like that. It just isn't going to be much of a life.

The reason why I lived it up so good in a truck (I mean I would spend money without even thinking about it) is because I never had an apartment. I lived in the van 9 months out of the year and stayed at moms house 3 months in the winter time. I can live at my brothers rent free because he has a property with an extra lot on it, but I'd still need to make payments on the trailer, pay for electricity, heat, and cable, food.

You are right RMB, sometimes you need to move on. If I keep on being down in the dumps, good things will pass me by. It's time to re-assess the situation and move forward. Did I tell you that I also have digestive issues, not so much since I've been on the pain meds, but I have had stomach problems so bad that I couldn't finish meals without having to run to the bathroom. I suffer on many levels. All of that never stopped me from working. I guess we'll throw another wrench into the machine and move forward. And as dar as SSI, to be honest with you, it is not a fair system. You have to lie to get on it. I can pay 850 dollars to have a doctor write whatever I want him to in a RFC report. I don't understand why it has to be so hard for people to get the help they need in this country. Your friends could win a case, but they would have to hire a lawyer and lie, cheat, and fight to do so. It's really sad. Some people need those benefits. Why do the people who got legs blow off in Boston get milions donated to them, while the rest of us with legitimate disabilities get shoved in the corner and told to suffer. It just makes me mad. Don't be afraid to voice your opinions RMB. I appreciate your bluntness.

I think you misunderstood what I was saying. I haven't given up hope on a cure. I won't ever give up hope. I believe in miracles 100%. To be honest, I consider the fact that I'm still here on this planet a miracle. I don't ever wonder for one single second why I have to deal with DVTs and PTS and blood thinners and all that other bullmess. I'm alive. That's miracle enough for me. :-)

luckymommy, I don't think acceptance of our situations is giving up hope at all so I am with you on that. I think a certain amount of acceptance frees you up to just to live well. I think living in the here and now IS HOPEFUL.

Wow, this thread took off this morning! Lots of good discussion going on. Let me see if I can add something positive to it.

RMB, you are correct on two levels as to the vascular surgeon. There is some experimental surgeries right now being developed for people with chronic clotting and PTS. Right now they say it has an 80% success rate. I did go see a local VS and he said there was nothing he could do to help me.

My sister has spoken to her doctor about my PTS and his comment was along the lines that the medical community was not ready for the seriousness of PTS and what they can do to help it. Right now most of the ideas are in prevention and hopefully there will be new things on the horizon to help us that already have it. My father also asked his doctor at the VA about PTS and he described it to my dad as chronic acute pain. That was good for me on a personal level to help my dad to understand a little more of what I am going through from someone he respects.

I am in the same line of thinking as the rest of you when it comes to going on disability. I am blessed to have a job I can come and go as I am able and work from home as well. In fact right now I am laying in bed typing this. But I also know that with the severity of my PTS if I had a physical labor job or worked for someone who wasn't flexible that I would be forced to go on disability. With the pain I am in and the lack of use in my leg it is something I would have to swallow my pride and do. This has cost me money in my job now because I used to fly all over the country 9-10 weeks a year to visit with my clients and prospect new ones. I have great relationships with my current clientele so I don't know how much it has affected my sales with them but I know it has cost me lots of money in new business. I know that the loyalty of my current clients is what has helped my employers keep me on and work with me. Plus I still have had sales increases the last two years so as long as I am making them lots of cash I should be safe.

Jerry, I really feel for you. We are about the same age and your description of what you are going through is so similar to my experience. Keep up the good fight but also be safe in what you do.

Mamba Out

There seems to be many issues that are overlapping? I have gone on at length about my new normal and honestly,most of me WANTS to move on,there are times when I feel anxious or angry and that is when I am marinating in "what used to be" I talked to a therapist and a clergy about this very issue and it is very normal to go through the "loss" process of the former life.As with all loss there are stages,and all people go throught hem on their own time.IF a person gets "stuck" in one of the stages too long,as in affecting their life then it may be time to get some help.I did,I do and I work on it daily.If there were a place to go for us all to be in a support group in a room and there was a punching bag I am sure most of us if not all would hit it.One day we were going along in our lives and then bam!and when our immediate crisis was over and we were given the fear,confusion,blessing,life saving, blood thinners and yes they are all that and more.We are now ACUTELY aware how fragile our lives are,or more so how quickly any life can change.Wow..that is some very thought provoking,real stuff.We can always look for the good like the fact that we are alive,we are functioning better than some,we are blessed.Yet,I know for me when I see these swollen legs that used to be so beautiful:( I feel super sad and plain pissed off.This will not all pass,but it will get easier in time.Sorry about my spelling and grammer,working on that also:)
I do not believe in a state of happiness or a place,I believe in momnets of joy,and thankfully I still have those.Laughter has also become a huge part of my life now,although sarcastic it gets me through.Warm wishes for everyone today in here.Jerry- PTS is real and painful,I would have told that Dr.off that got snarky.The Tramadol I have here I have only taken it rarely because it does make me a little dizzy and goofy.It is not a "narcotic" however; it would not be wise to drive on it.Take care

Yeah I've noticed that the Tramadol makes me kind of loopy. I'm a pretty weird person as it is, but the Tramadol makes me even more weird. Don't worry about me driving on it. I never driver under any sort of medication that can cause drowsiness. I will only use the Tramadol at night if I have trouble sleeping due to leg pain. I've been off the Norco for almost three days now and haven't really noticed any withdrawal symptoms yet. Thanks god. I will be back to work in 2 weeks. There's not turning back now. The only fear I have is re-clotting because I will be driving for up to 18 hours at a time with minimal stops. It's just what the job entails. So I'm playing a bit of Russian roulette here. Any how, I'm glad to hear that you are doing better The new. Hang in there.