For me, I am open about it but don't make a big production of it. It's like a balance of not feeling ashamed but also not making it the focal point of my relationships.

My family and my closest friends are aware of it, as are some of my coworkers. I've worked with some of the same people for almost 20 years so we share things with others over the years.

I think when to share it with someone depends on how vulnerable you feel you can be and if the conversation just sort of naturally goes there. Some times it's easier for me to share things with someone when I feel like they're just as vulnerable as me, sharing things with me about themselves. Unless you dominate every conversation with all things UC, most people are going to be ok with talking about it.

Sometimes when you talk about it, it removes shame and makes it not that big of a deal.

Ever since 1984 when I first came down with UC, I must have told a million people about it, mainly because I want them to understand my unconventional dining habits. It's nice to always use it as an excuse too if somebody invites you to dine on some food you're not fond of or just can't stand the looks of.

Screw shame! My opinion anyways. I've told everyone that is part of my life, and I haven't had one person react adversely, or pull away from me. We always think the worst of people, but the truth is "most" people are good.

UC is not a disease of fault or weakness. There was nothing you did to cause this disease. We are strong and we live the best we can. For me, part of accepting the disease comes from being open about it. It is not going away. My boss and close coworkers know as well as all my close friends and family. I try to educate anyone who asks about our challenges. Some folks don't need to know. They are the people I don't share things with anyway. I hope your path leads to better support. Feel better.

I totally agree with you! I do think most people are good and the few turds we meet along the way, well we just kick them off our pant leg and move on, right?

I have never felt ashamed or embarrassed about my UC but I know some do and I always think, UC isn't a character flaw, you know. It's just one aspect of our lives, part of many aspects of our lives. I mean, there's more to all of us than UC, right? We have hobbies, interests, talents, things to talk about, things we want to accomplish, etc. The only time I really get into the whole down and dirty UC discussions are here on DS and then occasionally with my husband or a close friend but that's usually when I'm worried about something. Otherwise, I talk about UC the same way I talk about my dog, or my job or my plans for the weekend, or whatever else it is we talk to others about. From a physical standpoint, UC is just a thing I happen to have, among many things I have, like big feet, small hands, blond hair, a mole on my arm I need to have looked at (this is true, actually), etc. It's one piece of the whole.

I do think there's something to be said about whatever you're putting out in the world is going to come back to you. If you put out ugliness, you'll get ugliness back from people. If you put out light, you'll get light back from people. That's about as new-agey as I get but I believe it to be true. So that's why we surround ourselves with good people and make sure we take care of them, so we can get that back in return.

I have told most people that I know simply because it was much easier to explain all the weight loss and the lack of eating. Most people are very understanding, the only trouble with being truthful is that if i have a bad day the first thing people ask is "What did you eat that you weren't sup[posed to?" and that's not always the case, I get tired of hearing that question but for the most part I find it easier to be truthful, it explains why I can't do some of the things that I am asked to do. I don't think there is any shame in it, it's disease that we didn't ask for.
You have to do what you feel is right for you.

I am open about it to my closer friends and was very surprised to find that I have a couple of friends who also have UC and have had for many years too. It is not really something that I feel comfortable telling anyone other that family and close friends though.

Well, depends on the company. My immediate family and sib-in-laws know. I realized very early that they don't seem to understand it, and I kind of decided it's not worth getting into. I have one brother-in-law who says he has UC and the family knows all about bathroom emergencies he has had as a long haul trucker. But I, with a certain degree of envy, watched him eat an entire plate full of fresh fruit a couple of weeks ago. I also didn't observe him having any rushes to a bathroom, so I think he's in good shape at the moment, lucky guy. :) Which makes people wonder why I have not been consuming fruits or salads and, former hard core coffee addict that I am, I have been ordering decaf in restaurants when I supposedly have the same condition as he does. Anyway, I quietly explained to a couple of the girls who asked in private, and that's about it.

DH and I farm, and I don't have an employer to explain anything to.I don't talk about it but I don't hide it either. I would hate to be in a position where it could affect employment, though. That's got to be rough.

Thank you all for your replies! I really enjoy reading other people's perspectives and their opinions.

I envy all of you who are open. I understand that you wouldn't go and tell anyone and everyone what you have.. but to be able to tell your friends at least. I would like to think that I will reach a point that I can at least let my friends know. And I am slowly working towards it, but I suppose I just have this fear that they're just going to assume it's "tummy troubles". I am constantly hearing people refer to it as that, and it is.... to a point. But there's so much more involved! And it's ridiculous to me that some people think that our only problem is caused by eating foods and having diarrhea.

I think the other fear is people thinking that's all you are. Once people know you're "sick" that's all they think about when they see you. I don't want people constantly asking me how I'm feeling. And as Jean said, asking you what you ate to cause it. I have only experienced that once... and it was my boss. When I had to go home sick one day (only ONE day out of the two years I've been working there) she asked me what I could have not eaten to have avoided the situation I was in.

Anyhow, thank you all! I definitely learn so much from all of you. =)

Sort of the same for me. I have Crohns. I did not ask for it, did nothing to 'get' it ..i was born with it in my DNA I have now learned. I was blessed to have almost 50 years before it really took over. So, I have no problem being open about it. I don't make it a focal point of my life, unless it involves having to miss something due to the timing.. (mornings are spent in the bathroom for me) or eating out sometimes.

But, yes.. I'm very open about it to others if the need comes up. I know for myself I had no idea what it was until I had to learn about it so education of others is good if they are interested.

:-)

"I poop my pants and I cannot lie" When I was first diagnosed with uc I was terrified of living my life as I always had. But I decided to be open and answer all questions people had and never be ashamed of my condition. When I gave people a chance and was open and honest I was pleasantly surprised by the support I got. I ran into a few knuckleheads of course but those are the individuals I don't need around anyhow. You make the decision that is right for you and don't apologize to anyone for who you are. Never ever ever be ashamed, you are just as important as anyone else.

My Mother made the best comment: It is no different from anything else. People aren't ashamed to state they have high blood pressure or diabetes. A health problem is a health problem.

The first few years I was embarrassed about it and did not mention it to people. Then I realized they thought it was just part of my general flakiness and sometimes my behavior made them think I was crazier than I am, which is crazy enough. I now use it as part of my intro to people. Not in the first sentence mind you, but somewhere early on. I tend to say something like "I have a stomach issue, twinned Crohn's and Ulcerative Colitis, so if I get a funny look and take off, pay no attention. I'll be back as soon as possible." This is true especially if I am involved in a group meeting or something where it will be apparent if I slip out.

I have found people to be wonderfully understanding. I have found a number of people who have someone in their family who has one or the other. It can be freeing.

Hold your head up high and proudly state: So I fart and poop. So What!

I have had Crohns for 18 years and I have told some people but not everyone. I don't want everyone to know. I guess I feel like some people may think I am trying to gain sympathy or make excuses and I think everyone has something. It may not be a major illness but they may be having other issues in their life and everyone thinks their thing is the worst thing. So I keep it to myself unless I feel it is necessary to share. My family knows, my close friends know and certain people at work but not the grocery clerk or the mail man. This is just the way I feel.

I am very open about it. I have severe crohn's so people who know me often ask me questions. not to mention my diet is pretty obvious. I dont mind talking about it at all.

Thank you all for your replies!
I love hearing about how everyone else deals with their illness.

It's not that I expect people to tell anyone and everyone about their disease, just more interested in whether or not you all told the people closest to you. I find that people find it really strange that I don't like to tell even the people closest to me. Only people that need to know, I suppose. And they only know because I can't hide it forever.

I've graduated to at least telling my friends that I have an autoimmune disease, but haven't told them exactly what it is yet. But I feel like I am slowly working my way to being more open to the people that care about me.

Thank you all for your advice and for your stories! =)