BJ,

,Leonie children are in Australia and NZ ,of course she misses them.

Please BJ avoid counselling ,you are without licence and qualification .

Cindy, I can always relate to your dilema. My son wants me to move near him, but to give up my home & move to the city & all the traffic 165 miles a way, i'm not ready to do.
Plus, our kids mean well, but they are busy as I have learned from the one that lives down the road. (bless them, as I know they do worry)
How is old Proto doing? maybe you should get him a kitten friend ;)

Jazzkeys; sorry to hear about your mom.It's hard to keep up with friends with breathing problems & as a result some of mine have faded away. I am blessed with the friends i do have though as they are GOOD friends.

hey leoni---i'm blowing big blue bubbles at ya. bubble baths are good for the soul (isn't there a book like that? "chicken broth bubbles for the soul" ;) )

I'm glad others spoke up. This can be a lonely dx & it's good that others understand. That doesn't mean we wallow in self pity for ever, but to know others get lonely helps me to know that i'm not alone (again).

It seems like our society doesn't like to deal with sadness. lose a spouse, bo bowling. not feeling well, slap that phoney smile on your face & tell everyone how good you're doing.
Heck, my goal on this board is to "live each day to the fullest"---that doesn't mean each day is good.
One thing about life. It's a rollercoater ride. Going uphill now , but wait till this tub of bubbles hits the down hill zoom again.
:)
happy evening all!!!!
the big 60 is here 8-}

Wow Yade - I'm surprised at your response to BJ. We're all just trying in our own way to present our take on a discussion - which more often than not helps someone.

This site is rife with opinions - that's why it works.

We have a FB support site with members all over the world...You just need to say hi,,and you will have company.....because we r different time zones, it works great,,,,,nice place to have real time conversations..........let me know n you can join some friends there who you already know from here!!!!!

Yade, I am surprised you could be so rude, but please rest assured it does not bother me. None of us have a license to counsel, and yet each time we give advice, that is what we are doing. My only daughter moved to Australia right after she was married in 2oo6. Because of this disease I was unable to visit (and it costs a LOT) but one brief time, 6 weeks, when I got sicker and had to go home. I was not with her during her pregnancy, I was not with her during the birth of my only grandchild, her first baby, and I missed all the mother daughter things this disease robbed from me. Yes I can understand the loneliness, and the ache to hold that grandchild. I will continue to give my opinion, with or without your permission, until I have proof you are now administrator and have the right . God Bless you , and I forgive you........BJ

Gwapo, I understand more each day why I like the FB groups. Leonie69, maybe this would help you a bit to get back to your feeling good self. It is just having a different perspective on things sometimes can get us out of the slumps. I would geet so sad when my daughter skyped me from Australia and I saw my tiny grandson being cuddled by his paternal Nana, not me !! I am so grateful to God that my daughters inlaws are good Christian people, so I know in my heart she and baby are loved and being taken care of , but it is not by ME.....the old green monster, and talk about wallowing !!! Once my daughter called me on mother's day and said she was having lunch with Evelyn, her mother in law, and I started crying !!
So it takes baby steps. I could not have asked for a better husband or inlaws for my precious daughter, and that was what I told them, and how I consoled myself a little. I do not know all your story, but do understand how it hurts when they are so far away . I hope you can skype them, or call maybe once or twice a month. As I said, I do not know your situation, but mine, after a while ,got better, the more use to the fact I got that she was not here. Then I was really blessed when this disease of mine really got worse that they were talking transplants or something, so her and her little family moved back to the states and I now get to see them once a month. Of course this leaves Evelyn hurting and sad......You will have your days, just do not let it take over you. Hugs BJ

One common thing about living alone with COPD is that you have lots of time on your hands by yourself. This certainly can lead to loneliness. What is the best antidote for loneliness? Some enjoy reading or writing. Others have hobbies or surrogate children known as pets. If we are afraid of being lonely, we actually attract more loneliness into our lives.

In the lyrics of the song: 'I found the greatest love of all inside of me. The greatest love of all is easy to achieve. Learning to love yourself... It is the greatest love of all.' Loneliness is partly a spiritual problem. Buddha said, 'I teach about suffering and the way to end it.' Whatever life we lead, it has the nature of some aspect of suffering. Christ said, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'

Asians have some different remedies for loneliness, including yoga, tai chi, and meditation. They all seem quite foreign to us, especially meditation, which is perceived as too difficult. Fortunately, that has started to change. The medical community slowly started to embrace what is called guided imagery, visualization or mental imagery, about 20 - 30 years ago, to help cancer patients relax and to cope better with their disease.

Guided imagery is a western version of meditation, like training wheels for learning to ride a bike. Thanks to the internet and websites like YouTube and Vimeo, there are hundreds of free videos on guided imagery meditation. Go ahead, google it, and find out for yourself.

BJ,I do not need to be called rude and put up with your crap, in the I will stop posting here. Last time you were here warning me not to laugh .For some reason makes you upset .
I have different opinion what support group should be .
Wishing everybody well.

.

Jarca, thank you for articulating what I was thinking. For some reason, nobody is allowed to have true emotions. If you feel bad, so many people are quick to tell you how wrong you are to feel that way, point out how many people have it worse, how you've got to let the sunshine be your umbrella as life pithes all over you.

So I join you in calling BS (albeit more blatantly than you did). This disease sucks, and if we can't come here and cry on each other's shoulders, what the heck is the point of calling it a support group. If we're all smiling and happy, it's just a rainbow and unicorn club that happens to be made up of people with crappy lungs. Support means commiserating, letting people know they're not alone in their feelings, not disallowing those uncomfortable emotions while trying to fake our way through emotions. Sometimes, you don't want to have to fake it till you make it, and you want to yell it to dispel it (I think I'll trademark that and make bumper stickers).

whoa!
excuse me but I think Bj has done nothing wrong. (IMHO)
we all voiced our opinions to this and none of us claimed to have a degree in counseling.

I think if someone has a personal problem with another person; or with what someone posted that it would be best to PM that person & try to work it out privately rather than make rude comments "in public".

We are a support group.
We are people dealing with a disease that is scary and confusing and terminal (for me anyway).
I NEED support from others that are dealing with this.

I enjoy this DS board because of it's smaller size than many other support groups.
We tend to form friendships here, unlike other larger support groups.
and misunderstandings can occur.
Unlike other support groups that don't seem to have many misunderstandings- we can't just delete a post or a topic.

I realized that other, far bigger support groups, seem to not have that many misunderstandings.
They have the option to delete a post or topic that we can't do here on DS.
Also, other sites are so big, (IMO) no one cares or knows any other people well enough to have "emotional" ties to anyone so no toes get stepped on.

Everybody has a right to their opinion, or to write how they understand things if they are not rude or hurting anyone.
Personally, I have a very hard time wording things & it often takes me some time to compose & post my reply to a topic....
In the meantime 3 other people may post before me & then it can look like my post was in response to theirs.
I alway try put a persons name if I am responding to someone other than the topic.

and of course any information offered is something to talk with your dr about and not take as gospel to argue opinions. (everyone has the right to their opinion) (also, there CAN be 2 right ways to do something).

This was such a wonderful, active board when I first joined, that now is getting less & less support.
I fear it is going to die, if people can't get back to the support each other part & leave their ego's out of it.
Sad, to think that the board that has been here the longest for me & helped me the most, is dying because people are afraid to post.
I hope we can turn that around.
If not for our selves, but for the newcomers looking for help & friendship like I was when I came here: scared, alone, in pain & with a dr that I no longer trusted. I felt so alone & I was welcomed here.

I wasn't responding to you regarding the BJ thing. I am apparently lagging behind and was responding to the thing about not pasting a smile on your face and expecting that to make everything well. I hadn't particularly noticed that BJ said anything at all controversial, and assumed there was something going on there between her and the other poster that I had missed.

So my hurrah to you was more along the lines of being allowed to feel miserable now and then.

BJ does not think BJ did anything wrong either. I was not at all dancing with rainbows and telling her or anyone they should not feel a certain way.

I have been in almost her same situation, and the only point I was trying to get across was that deep depression can be bad for us, and hard as it is, we need to get strong and not let it take over.

Everyone needs a good cry at times. I am terrible about wording my comments so that people understand what I am trying to say.

I have no idea what got Yade's panties in a wad, and set her off. If she and I once had differences, it was so un eventful I do not remember it.

It has been a long time since I have been on here full time. I have friends here I care about, and was trying to get back in the group that I thought by now would be back to our family, loving group that I started out with,

please do not let Yade cause any more concern in the group. Like Jarca, and others, I left for a bit but got to missing eveyone.

But before I would pm a person and ask what is wrong. But I am tired of these asinine people that go off anytime things do not go their way, instead of them selves pm'ing me and saying this or that was wrong. I could handle that.

But my silence in not pm'ing her is not acceptance of her rude behavior, it just means she is not worth my time . I have nothing for her, or against her. But do not let her and one's like her pull this forum down any lower. It use to be so great to get on here.

Now, even after all the time I stayed away, I see you still have to walk on egg shells . NOT me, NOT again.

Hugs and best wishes to my DS friends and family.

BJ

Dani- I understood what you were responding to.

a perfect example how someone can write a post but it come up at the wrong time LOL

and my "whoa" post wasn't directed at you, dani

we were doing one of those write at the same time I think. LOL
just goes to show how easy it is to have a misunderstanding (especially when DS seems to live in their own time zone & posting topics zone (i lost my reply twice to cyberspace)

bj- i love that you didn't get your panties in a wad & will keep coming back hahahahahaha i hate it when my panties get wadded ;)

Physical Healing, Emotional Well-Being - Deepak Chopra.
How we can be liberated from stress, burn out, depression, immune dysfunction, relationship pressures and other emotional and physical illnesses.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_gJN7I0a9XU


The Secret of Healing - Meditations For Transformation and Higher Consciousness By Deepak Chopra

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uin2q_hEHlU

BJ, You have helped me many times and I always welcome your advice. Today you touched my heart talking about your grandchild in Australia. I can't travel without getting sick and ending up in a hotel room for a few days before going back home so the Drs suggested I just stay home. My one and only grandchild, Marc, is up in CT and I have a similar situation. My DIL's family adores him and does all kinds of wonderful things for him and with him. It hurts me. I fly the family down here a couple of times each year and that's all I can do but I will see them again at Thanksgiving and my son in Wilmington will be the host - he's a great chef. I have had to comfort myself with the fact that Marc's CT grandparents are good people with the same values our family has. They are making Marc's life better and that is what really counts.

So many of us share the same problems with this disease and I am grateful that you are all here. Just to be understood is a gift.

I hope I get over the bronchitis soon. I look forward to two sons coming down on Monday to see me. I have a new book to read. The sun is shining. The small things are what make the day go by nowadays.

Hugs to all, Cindy