Well, discuss it. Maybe he will be ok with you finding a female friend. Lots of women are in your situation. So many divorced lesbians out there too. Some guys can handle it some cant. Poor guy must feel terrible that he isnt attractive to you though. For his good, he should know why.

I am a female, by the way, for those reading.

This is my first time commenting on this site. Mainly because I have a very similar profile: history of bulimia, alcoholism, and feelings of nervousness with my husband, whom, yes, I love dearly. In my opinion, and possibly to the horror of other responders, I am not entirely certain whether to end my family (to change EVERYthing...I have two step sons who are in their early twenties -- I raised them -- and a ten year old daughter)will make me happy. I am 41 years old, with a long career in the arts. I had no reason to reject my feelings of possibly being a lesbian but I also wasn't entirely sure. And then I met this man in my mid-twenties, and I went gaga. In retrospect, part of what made me go gaga was the fact that my extended family thought he was the best thing since sliced bread. But I also really and truly feel in love with him. I believe that is possible. Hey, my first boyfriend was gay and we still see each other all the time. Love is so many things and can manifest itself in so many ways. I would take the time you need to consider what you might lose, and investigate thoroughly what you might gain.

I am thinking of these exact same things right now. It is really not easy, but it is also not an impossible situation. You probably know what you need already.

all the best,
Annie (my real name -- sort of :-)



This is probably not hugely helpful, and I'm sorry for that. I think you have to listen to your heart, pay attention to moments where you can get a deeper understanding of what is the best scenario, and be patient.