you need to be honest.
you love your husband. he deserves to know the truth, because eventually he will move on and find some one who will want him sexually. its not fair on either of you living a lie
x

yea i agree

if you love him thn its the best if ur honest youve gotta be yourself he will go on and find someone whi does want him that way

xxhanxx

You are married to a man...whom you love dearly (as a friend)...but you KNOW you are a lesbian? You ARE definitely allowed to love this man and love the children...but, at the moment in this given situation...YOU are being selfish. I would question if you are lesbian or if you might possibly be bisexual. Forget the labels. There is NOTHING wrong with being bi...just be honest. You don't have to live a lie. Do you? More info...why do you feel you would be rejected by this man whom you love dearly as a friend...and the children? The children know you for who you are.. Your situation is not mine to judge. I would love to help if able...just wondering why you feel the things you stated? Hugs...Lei.

Ah...well, damn..Guess I stuck my foot in my mouth again. Don't know you. Don't know the situation. You obviously have a handle on everything. Hugs and support. No advice.

Thanks for the comments. I just really wondered if anyone is or has been in this situation?

There was a lady on here recently who was, but she sort of thought this was a dating site and left when she realized it wasn't... heh.

Um... I'm really not sure what to tell you. It sounds like it's really rough, and I can only imagine how heart breaking it must be for you.
Unfortunately, homosexuality is NOT accepted, and so a lot of women and men end up in this situation just to protect themselves.
I'd say you're a victim of society.

That said, I hope you can find the courage and strength to tell your husband the truth and to move on and find someone else. He will get over it eventually, and you'll still be able to see your kids.
Surely you love him for a reason. He must be a good guy. I'm sure he won't be happy about it, but eventually he'll see that it's for the best of both of you to move on and let you go.

Thankyou....im no way looking for dates..think my life is messed up enough!! I will be bringing up my children, I would never leave them! It's just Im scared of ripping my family to bits!

hi there, i'm part of a group called lesbian moms of oklahoma and so there are many of us who either were once married or just screwing around til we finally came out...i have two frens who were married for awhile and had children, well long story short, they both got a divorce, and have been a happily lesbian couple since then and both have their children hope this helps...peaceNpride jwls

Please message me!I am in the exact same situation.I am still married to a man and i believe i am bisexual.He has no clue.I need to know for sure if I need to leave him or stay...ilovefavre

Well girlfriends let me tell you... there are so many things that have to be worked out when you are married and have children. Everybody seems to want to move so quickly without sorting through the details first. I was married and madly in love with my husband when I started feeling the need to have a woman in my life, however I didn't act on it at that time. My children were grown and he had children with other women that were driving me crazy. To make a long story short, we are now divorced for four years. but, what I'm trying to help all you young(I think) women through is: do you really want to live a half-life??? If you died tomorrow and were concious in death, could you say that you lived your life to the fullest??? Put a plan in place, about how you're going to support your children, where you're going to get your support and do you think it's fair to this husband that you love to keep this kind of secret? What if the roles were reversed, do you think he would stay with you in a lie? Let me know when you've asked yourself these questions, how things work out.

I have been married for 10 years. Came out to H in June. Moved out with our 2 children in December. It has been 3 months since living on my own....I have retained an attorney...I am going through with the divorce.
My H is and has been the best friend I have ever had. He is a great dad, etc...
He is crushed! I am the love of his life...and yet...I cant live my life trying to fit into a box. I truly thought that if I got married and had kids, my attraction to women would go away.
Guess what? It didnt....

I feel in love with a women. And then...my whole world was turned upside down...

I understand...
Being honest is the only way...it is KEY!
I know it is hard and scary and I worried about OMG what will he think of me...what about how he feels, etc...

Be strong, stand in your truth, you are perfect in your design...you are whole and worthy of love.
Who we love is no ones business.

Amber that fact you realized you are lesbian, be fair and tell your husband. I was married to a closet gay for 27 years till he got sloppy and got caught. I feel deceived and a life wasted as this charade covered the best years of my life. he still is in denial, but for me it validates his poor bedroom behavior towards me. If you love this husband your friend, tell him and let him live his "Authentic Life' with a woman. He will become bitter and hateful towards you. There is a support group for Straight Spouses to help us re-negotiate our situations and not blame ourselves.

Amber, I see that your post now states you are a single lesbian. Can you tell us how you told your husband about your sexuality and that you were leaving him, I know it would help many others on this discussion board.

Hi...sorry ive not really been about!! Yes I came out to my husband and Im now single. I now feel so happy to be me...AT LAST. It's not been the easiest thing I have ever done but it has been the best. I feel I need to journal all that has happened to me over the past few weeks, so I can clear my head and start putting my life back together. I will leave the journal entry open to everyone. I just want to say that if anyone is in a simular situation....please please find someone to talk to, I will tey my best to answer any questions and help where I can x x

Actually i've been in the same sitution and felt the same way you did,but i could no longer hide it cause my family needs me no matter what and i cant give them the love and support they needed through a lie which cause a bad affect on everyone when lies are being told.The most important thing in life is happiness once you find that than everything eles will be easy.