I sent you a friend request through the messages.

I feel slightly like I am interrupting a private conversation. . . I have been trying find others in the same situation as us.
My story is, my husband (from the UK, I am American) was hit by a car on July 6. He was put in a coma to help healing to his brain. There was a point at which a doctor said, 'The next 24 to 48 hours are crutial' in reference to the need for the swelling of his brain to subside, but it didn't for another week.
Since then, they have taken him out of the coma, weaned him off the respirator and oxygen. He does seem to see people (and I am convinced that he recognises me because he stares at me more than other people who come with me). He moves his head slightly, and can move one thumb and one index finger very slightly, and that's it. He has stabilized (the same for a few weeks now) and they are threatening to send him 'home'. I am freaking out, because not only do I have my own health issues (MS) but I am barely managing taking care of the kids (6 and 15) since he used to be in charge of everything at home while I worked. We live in Spain, where health care is great, EXCEPT (I have found out) for just such cases.
I went through the whole range of worst case scenarios, from funeral arrangements and now am freaking out that we will have a vegetable for life. I also think maybe I shouldn't have OKed the traecheotomy & respirator way back when. . .

You ok'd the trach because you wanted him to live and that is pretty normal in my opinion.

Have you considered a nursing home? Its where my husband is although I wish I could have him at home. I don't know how I would care for him though with his feeding tube and ventilator which I know nothing about.

Ask the hospital to speak to the social worker, they will know what to do. Its their specialty.

and no, it's not a private conversation so please go ahead and post. We are all here for each other.

Sterlingea, I sent you a friend request so I can give you my email ok?

The situation is, here in Spain they only allow people who are elderly in nursing home. There are only 3 'specialised' ones that take on TBI patients in the area where we live, all with huge waiting lists. I have been assured by social workers that they will fast-track him, but that could be almost 9 months!

Pinkie, yes, I sent you a message.

I am so sorry for what all three of us are going through. It was discovered that my husband has a collapsed lung today, and he is back in the hospital again. So difficult. Prayers please.

I probably should have come back here to update. My husband slowly improved, actually got into a conscious state, recognised people, they removed the trach tube and we could feed him through his mouth, he actually spoke, eventually even answering questions. Sadly, a week ago he was sent back to the ICU for difficulty breathing, seemed to have recovered, but 3 days later difficulty breathing was too much for his heart. They resusitated him, but it gave out an hour later.
It was great to hear his lovely voice again, amazing to see him eating, talking and pretty shocking to have him suddenly gone when it looked like he was recovering somewhat.

When I was in a coma my parents told me that I woke up and started talking to my boyfriend at the time about random things and then fell back asleep for a few more days. I was in coma 18 days. I do not remember anything about it. I was sent to another hospital when I woke up and I remember my mom hanging cards in my room that ppl sent to me. And the worst worst thing that came out of my mouth and that I remember was when I looked at my dad and said " you know what? You remind me of my dad". I tear up every time I think of it . I'm like why in the world would I say something like that it is the most horrible thing to ever say

Clay


The incident that I am now going to convey happened in between December 2009 and Spring of 2010. There is a place in Western Colorado in a tiny town supporting the agricultural community which surrounds it, which is the location where this incident happened. I worked in a store in this tiny little town. Each and every month for 13 years since beginning there, I visited the store bimonthly (once at midmonth and once at the end of the month) and performed a service there for the owner: the service of cleaning the windows. Window cleaning was a skill I learned upon my exit of college in my junior year and at the point of my departure from the city where I was raised and had lived to that point. I went on a sojourn and quest in 1975 to see the world and to test the principles I had been taught from the Bible (as to their veracity) in the laboratory of life beginning in Trenton, NJ for a period that lasted 6 years from 1975 through fall of 1981. Prior to my departure, Charlie, who was a fellow believer who attended the same fellowship which I went to and who owned a window cleaning company spent a couple of days training me as a gift to me so that I could build my own business and support myself in a self employed fashion when I got to my area of service on the outreach program of the ministry which I had chosen to participate in.

I went back on the window cleaning circuit in1997 after moving to the western slope of Colorado because of a power saw ( woodshop ) accident that happened to my oldest son. This was just after moving from Steamboat Springs (after the accident) and 5 months prior to my ex wife’s petitioning me for a divorce. A divorce became the catalyst for me re entering the window cleaning business and It was part of a well thought out strategy and plan to supplement the income I was losing in the divorce settlement.

The work I was performing in the winter of 2010 was at a convenience store. It had 10 windows and three doors. On three of the windows was a community bulletin board wherein anyone in the community that had a need or service which they wanted to advertise would come in and tape this advertising to the window in a spot of their own choosing. Part of the service I offered this particular client was to strip the window of all the paper in the window, clean the window on the inside and remove all tape, and then tape the notices, which were not dated, back to the window. These three windows which were three feet by six feet were 60 percent covered with notices when I cleaned them. Sometimes, there was more or less but on average it was about 60 percent. I saved this job for the end of the day because it was so tedious that it was somewhat of a stressor for me. Toward the last days of my tenure there, I would go next door to the Parrot Bar before cleaning, for a drink of something to take the edge off that tedium and then plow through, knowing that I would be getting off of work right after. This combination resulted in a comfort sandwich which buffered the work having the comfort on the outside boundaries of the work which seemed a practical approach to killing the pain between. Those windows, over the years, had become my territory if you will, as had the penchant toward serving others. I owned that spot and the responsibility for cleaning that area: and it was mine.
On this day, I stood outside reading all the notices before I began work, as my last act of procrastination before I began the work. A particular notice came under my attention which was unorthodox and somewhat alarming as it was a plea for help from the woman who wrote the notice. The note explained that her son had gone to the dentist on a particular day and the subsequent night, he had gone into a coma. She wanted those who read the note to pray for her son. The note gave the identity of her son and the note stated that he was at a hospital in Grand Junction. Here was an opportunity to help someone. I had compassion in my heart and life. I sought the best for my fellow man and I understood from this woman’s plea that she was at wits end. Who put compassion in my heart??? It was a free gift that I received when I was born again and God put in me the power of the holy spirit and the gift of the Love of God which my life is also now permeated with. So here in front of me is a plea for help and it is on my watch and it is in my arena sitting on my window that I have been taking care of for 13 years. The love of God is an ever present reality and ready to be energized inside of us. God’s love inside of us and his power inside of us do not fluctuate. God is constant and his gifts inside of us are constant (we are left as the only variable and our will). Somewhere in the Word of God, the Bible, is a verse that declares that the Gifts and calling of God are without repentance. It is in Romans 11.29. Once God gives a gift, he doesn’t take it back, ever, period, end of story. God gives us his gift of holy spirit, which is in us, when we get born again. At that time, He endues us with or “clothes us” with the gift (Power from on High) of holy spirit and we also receive the Love of God as part of that gift. Inside of that gift is also the ability to understand spiritual matters. For the natural man, who is only body and soul, it is not possible to understand the things of the spirit of God for they are foolishness unto him, neither can he know them because they are spiritually discerned. I Corinthians 2:14. So included in this Gift is the ability to understand things spiritual, down to understanding SCRIPTURE. WHY??? BECAUSE GOD HAS LADEN OUR LIVES WITH TREASURE and it is now our job to find and uncover all of that treasure and it is all for us and it’s manifestation in our lives is going to affect us and the quality of our lives not only in this world but also forever. When I was a teenager I wanted to know. I wanted to know what was, what is, and I wanted to live my life in Truth to make a difference in my life and in the lives of others. I took a class because of my quest to know and in that class I learned that we are, as believers, God’s ministers (ICorinthians 5:20 refers to us as God’s ambassadors), here on earth, to spread the Good News. I learned that God’s power in us, His love of God in us, and God’s compassion resident within us (each and every one of us), is here to Help us and that we can(with that goodness that we have been laden with, that treasure that God has laden us with); we may ( we have the opportunity to)help others. I trained and studied at the feet of those, that I am still in awe of, so that I would be prepared for such a day as this, when I read this plea for help from this mother that was grieved by the state of her son who was in a hospital in a coma and she didn’t know what else to do but to put up signs in the windows of local merchants, petitioning help for her son from anyone and everyone who could read her note which before we were finished would begin showing signs of fading from the sun beating on it. She didn’t leave a phone number on the note. It said only that Clay was in St. Mary’s in Grand Junction. The note said that he had gone to the dentist and that in the subsequent evening, he had gone into a coma. I had questions but my questions would have to wait and that would be all the information that I would ever receive about Clay. So I added Clay to my prayer list and every day I would focus on Clay’s situation and pray in my understanding and pray in the spirit. It was during the last week of December that I drove out to the hospital hoping to find Clays parents so that I could confer with them. The night I went to see him, Clay’s parents were not there and I found out where they were keeping him in intensive care. Since they were not there and there was nothing to do, I sat there and prayed for Clay for half an hour to an hour and then I left. I went another time to see Clay at St. Mary’s within ten days of the first time; I went out to see him, again, hoping to run into his parents, and I thought if I could get their permission to see him that I could then minister healing to Clay in an effort to help his mother get the answer that she was seeking: deliverance for her son. The second time I went, I took a book to read and I positioned myself at a waiting room near his wing in hopes that some door would open so I could get into see him. There were several nurses who asked me what they could do for me and made me feel that my presence was not wanted. So, I just kept on praying and seeking answers on my mission. After spending two trips to the hospital and searching the phone book for a house phone for someone related to Clay, I was now on a mission. I was able to call the phone number of the room that Clay was in at the hospital and I did that on several occasions but there was never anyone to answer the phone when I called for him. If I wanted to minister to Clay, I needed to make contact with Clay’s parents. Speaking to a nurse would not gain me access to Clay. So then a pattern emerged in which I would pray for Clay and ask God what to do and then I would call the hospital to see if anyone would answer Clay’s phone. That was never going to happen. And then I would go down to Short Stop on my bimonthly circuit during work, and tear down all the signs on the three window bulletin board, clean the windows and put them back up. Then I would notice the sign Clay’s mother put up on that window (the catalyst for my involvement) for me to find, remained standing as my further reminder to PRAY FOR CLAY. I would wonder about Clay as I stood there and count the weeks from the first time that I found that notice in late December. I was measuring the time as it passed and there was no resolution and I became more resolute in my determination to help in this situation. Two weeks turned into four and then four weeks turned into eight and I began to survey what it is that Hospital Staff are imposed on to do, as time passes in the lives of coma patients. I could just imagine some of the conversations that would happen between doctors and nurses and the victim’s parents relative to life support. It was, now late February; after weeks of prayer and many failed attempts to make contact, I was praying when something came to me regarding something that I had learned decades ago relative to believing. When Jesus healed the sick, he always required believing on the part of parents when he was dealing with a minor, unless the individual was mentally incapacitated. Then it dawned on me that Clay’s state of unconsciousness fell into this category. I had been in many of these(healing) situations before when working in Trenton, Reno, Berkeley, and Connecticut which were all places where I lived and ministered in my early Christian quest and I had ministered in many circumstances as the parent of 5 children, but never this type of situation where I could not reach the parent. I live in a modest house in the rural area referred to as the dobies (mountainous hills of clay like soil taking their form from erosion. In that house, I have a back porch entry slider that opens into my kitchen and then an opening that leads from the kitchen left to the dining room or directly forward and left into the office where I work and pray. To the right of that area and forward is my living room which is separated by a wall from my office. That office is where my computer is and all my books and my concordances and my study materials. It was in this area where I would do my praying and focusing in this situation for Clay and it was in this area where I was sitting and praying when I called out to God and asked him what to do for Clay. The weeks, however, continued to roll by as I continued to feel greater urgency in the plight relating to Clay.

Then, one day, as things were gaining in intensity and in my increasing mental awareness of Clay's unconscious soul holding in the balance, I maintained my focus on this need. Then, in an instant of time, I was inside my spirit and pleading on behalf of Clay’s cause and asked what can be done for Clay. This was now, months after discovering his mother’s note. It was after two trips to the hospital and multiple times of calling Clay’s phone in his hospital room, and several calls to the nursing station on Clay’s floor to confirm his status as “nothing has changed”. It was after four or five subsequent revisits to the Short Stop store, where Clay’s mother’s note still hung on the window. We were at that point ten weeks into this coma circumstance, and dawn came in the form of God’s answer to me regarding Clay.
Because Clay was in a coma, he was unconscious and therefor mentally incapacitated and because I could not reach his mother, it was up to me to take authority over the situation in his parent’s stead. All I had to do was take authority over the situation while acting in faith on behalf of Clay. So I rose up in my chair with the eyes of my understanding enlightened. I had already been prepared to take this step having already prayed about this situation for 8 to ten weeks. Clay was in effect asleep. My acting in faith was simple in addressing this situation. I merely followed my inspiration and, from the depth of my being, deep inside my soul and inside my gut, I called out to CLAY to wake up: I shouted this command: “CLAY ,WAKE UP”! as loud as I could shout it as if I were calling my own son out of sleep. In the spiritual realm, there is no space and time (I did this in expectation as would a father when waking up his children in the morning with a specific urgency in this case). There was no separation from me and Clay at that point in time. No travel was required; I claimed it in my action and belted it out as loud as I could as I believed that God was at work in me to will and to do of his good pleasure (in my action). And so it was done. I know that two things had occurred that morning that had brought resolution to the dilemma that Clay and that Clay's mother were in. I had sought a specific answer and I had received a message relating directly to the circumstance with a further guidance to act in Faith on Clay's behalf. In between, the eyes of my understanding had been enlightened. Once you have been in prayer and have habitually been on task for a number of weeks on a particular subject as we are all creatures of habit, there is a tendency to return to the scene, which I did the next day. On the next day, I got up and began to pray and I began to pray for Clay, and then I remembered that the day before we had come to resolution of Clays situation and then I got up and I went into my bathroom which adjoins the office wherein I was praying for Clay and I had a moment of illumination inside that bathroom in which I cannot adequately describe what happened. I looked up and I got an overwhelming sense of God’s presence which also indicated to me that we were done and that Clay was healed and that I could let him out of my urgency of focus.

It was three months prior to this happening that I had gone with my friend and mentor, Dan and two other believers to North Dakota to help Dan do some ministering with a group of people who had reached out to him for help. During that trip, Dan mentioned something to me about focusing on the compassion that God had put in us and having that and knowing that. It was during that trip, that I was being prepared and given my alert to God’s compassion inside me. Thanks to Dan and thanks to God for always preparing our paths. We have the enablements that He Gave us to be able to be readied for his missions as they come up for us and as we are moving through our sojourn here (ready always to give an answer to every man regarding our salvation and our hope: ready to minister God’s Goodness to our fellow man).

Within a week of this incident which I have described to you, I called the hospital and asked to be connected to Clay's room. I did this in part to receive confirmation that Clay woke up. Well, Clay had been moved (which is exactly what I was expecting and the reason that I had called: for confirmation) out of intensive care and had been moved to a new room and the operator connected me to the room and guess who answered Clay’s phone? His dear mother answered and I spoke with her for some time on the phone. She relayed how Clay had come out of his coma and how he was going to rehab to build strength back into his arms and legs and that his speech was coming back to him with remarkable progress as he convalesced. In addition, she and I spoke about her note and my seeing the note and my many attempts at finding her and my praying for Clay. We also spoke about the Bible some and some places and specifics in the Bible relating to healing. Then I got off the phone and thanked God for his infinite goodness and mercy. I also experienced a great admiration for this woman who did everything she knew how to in a very dire and grave
situation, to make a difference. I envisioned what a great light in a dark place she was in this time of need and that she never got into the darkness of the situation or fear but always steeled her mind in her believing to get the deliverance she needed for Clay( she blocked everything else, the circumstances, and all the conditions related to it, she blocked it out). I was able to glean from the conversation that we had that day, that she got a picture of her Free Clay in her mind (with clearness and concern) and she didn’t let anything take precedence over that picture (ever). She locked that down in her mind and shut every thing else out and remained diligent and faithful to holding that picture and that picture only in her mind for months. She just stood on what she knew, put out the pleas for help in the community, and STOOD FAST ON WHAT SHE KNEW in her heart about God and Jesus Christ’s deliverance and the truths from God’s word. THIS WAS a huge release and relief and source of great joy that day for Clay’s mother and for myself because we trusted God and GOD DELIVERED. GOD DELIVERED. GOD DELIVERED. God always delivers when we believe !!!

Weeks and months passed and Clay became less and less a part of my thoughts(actually, I was so busy at work in the spring and summer, I forgot about Clay) and then one day before I was to go to work at that Short Stop, taking down that three windows of bulletin board advertisements, I went to the bar next door to order a drink and as the bartender Kate poured, I overheard her talking to another patron about a local kid and his mother who had died of a heart attack and this conversation was going on right at the time I entered the bar and sat down( IT IS IMPORTANT you get this part ; if I hadn’t walked in right when I did I would have never thought about this again or perhaps ever made contact). She mentioned the name “Clay” and then I interrupted to ask if she was talking about Clay Hansen, which she then verified!!!! She also gave me a phone number where I could reach him. It was tragic to me how this woman who had believed for a miracle in the life of her son, had elapsed, but as I got to know more, I understood a little better what she was in the midst of. Kate described to me a little about Clay’s continuing rehab and that he was doing really well. So the next day, I called Clay and told him a little about my relationship to his mother. I told him I was sorry to hear of her untimely death and I wanted to take him out to lunch and spend a little time with him describing his mother’s believing and our interaction together. We had a great time and I learned about him, a little, and some of the trials in his life and difficulties that had come about as a result of those circumstances. I invited him to a fellowship and told him to contact me anytime that he wanted to know more about the Bible.

God’s love has an object and that object is His family. God’s love never fails and we can be coworkers with him if our compassion is allowed to live and grow inside of us and then we, too, can walk in the spirit and walk in the love that God gave us and grow in our desire to be a part of the solution on the earth as we cultivate a desire to help and be a help to others. Others may, thereby, know and become a part of the family of God and familiarize themselves with the patterns that are here for us to know and behold and, the influence of which(principles in Truth in operation) will support us as we become familiar with the patterns of THE WAY and as we learn to become students and participants within that WAY, who is Jesus Christ.