It sounds like I am following exactly behind you- this is month three starting today, and I am as well dealing with property, Medicaid, etc. It seems all surreal. I'm just praying that God will protect us and allow us to go on living relatively comfortably.

My daughter is going to go to a counselor soon too. She's having some difficulty, and I don't think I can meet her needs. I don't know what other emotional support I can provide.

I am also supposed to travel in this month, and I am worried because I need some respite. I am deciding if forwarding calls while I'm out of town would be helpful for me to relax had have some time for me to rejuvenate.

Are you able to enjoy your class? I'm struggling to enjoy anything. My face usually houses a smile, and even my daughter notices that it's just not there. This is so unusual. I am hoping that you are recovering, and any other information that you can provide is always helpful. Did you apply for SSD? Did you apply for your son? Medicaid?

Prayers and Peace to you.

Enjoy your trip out of town. You need a break. Taking your daughter for counseling is a good idea. They are experts with children and know how to help them cope with loss.

Oh yeah, if you decide not to forward your calls while you are out of town be sure to let some people know what you are doing or everyone will be really worried about you not answering your phone.

I'm doing ok. I don't laugh or smile all that much either. I just am sort of numb/sad. I was finally able to eat a salad last night for the first time. My husband and I always shared salad together and I couldn't face one for months. I guess healing will come in baby steps.

Going to the grocery store was aweful. We used to shop there together and I barely made it through without crying for him. I won't go to the subway sandwich shop though. I WOULD cry.

Are you having trouble with places?

Oh yes. For sure. Places can be really challenging, but in the beginning, I said that I was going to have to face those places. Especially our house... that was one of the places for a while. We remodeled almost all of our house, so every nook and cranny is him. It's us, literally building our house up together. Except the kitchen... since we were at a standstill after some demo in there. So, the church and some community groups have helped nearly wrap that up.
But, yes, places we dated, places we drove, memories we made... nearly our entire married life has been in this city. It's very hard, but I am so glad that I have those memories- I mean if he wasn't such a light in my life, how sad would that be? I think walking through this, yes, it makes us miss them, but also, it makes us appreciate all that love, laughter, and time we do have. And, we still pray for the future.
I know we are both so sad. And, I'm sure you have good days and bad... I'm praying for you- for some peace. Days when if feels tumultuous, I can only say Jesus. And, it improves. It is also so nice to communicate with you. Thank you. Bless you.

I went to see my husband again today. I spoke to him and he smiled. Then the nurse came in and he smiled for her too. His eyes still don't look at anything or follow a finger, but he did smile a crooked smile. It gives me hope that he can hear me and understand.

I will go again tomorrow. From June 7 till now and I finally get a smile. What a blessing that is. Usually he just lays there eyes staring at nothing.

How is your husband coming along? Are his eyes open yet? Any signs? Hang in there. It takes a while for the brain to heal. Don't give up on him. Don't listen to the negative doctors. God can do anything. Just keep on asking and believe.

How is your new baby? All fresh and pink I imagine. At least you have your children from him to keep you going. Has your daughter been to counseling yet? How about you? Are you still going?

So, My husband's eyes have been open for quite a while, sometimes he tracks, sometimes he doesn't. He yawns, but his jaw is clinched so tightly constantly. He moves his head back and forth... no smiling. No other responses, but still has that twitching we mentioned in earlier posts.

Baby boy is healthy, and he is fair skinned and beautiful. He's healthy and I'm smitten.

I do still go to counseling, but my little girl won't start for a few more weeks. We're doing okay thus far... but just really, really, really want to see some other stuff. I'm glad you still visit. We haven't been, but because my husband is so young, we had a difficult time figuring out places to accept him. It has been quite the rollercoaster.

Thanks.

I still haven't gone in for counseling. I keep telling myself to go but it just never works out. I tell God instead. I am going to go for formal counseling though one of these days.

At least your husband tracks sometimes. I would give my pinky finger to see my husbands eyes focus on something and follow it. That is a very good sign you know.

I had my first karate class last night. Whew! What a workout. I was actually able to focus on the instructor and not think about my husband every second. That's a change.

Do you have any hobbies? Or is your pink squirming bundle of joy hobby enough?

I do have lots of hobbies, and yes I seem to be relatively busy taking care of two kiddos. They are wonderful though, and reminders of God's miracles on earth.

This week has been pretty hard, as I met with an attorney and have to figure out our money situation. We're doing well, but it's just hard to talk about money anytime.

I'm still praying for you. I know it seems lonely at times, and I have lots of moments where I have to stay strong for my little girl. She misses her daddy and it heartbreaking to hear her verbalize it. So, I just wanted to offer a prayer to you- for peace. Peace in the midst of a storm. We're walking this together sister in Christ.

I'd also like to send you some case, if that's possible-even if it's through paypal. People have been so helpful to us, as we're so young, and I don't know if you've done anything else for yourself, but it really is important. How is your son?

Stay strong- this is not forever. Remember to keep your eyes on Christ, as he will guide you. Satan can attack anytime- he's knocking at the door.... Peace to you.

My son and I are doing as well as can be expected in this situation. Thanks for asking.

I went to the attorneys and got a guardianship started so I can apply for my husband for insurance and things like that.

I went to see him again today and he is running a fever of 102. They have drawn blood and done cultures so after five I will get the results. I hope it is nothing serious.

I read in psalm 56:9 that God stores our tears in a bottle. He'll need more than one for me.

Cry when you need too, laugh if you can. Your children take thier cues from you. Give lots of hugs. Go to bed early and get plenty of sleep. It will help keep your emotions on an even keel. Don't forget to eat. Stay strong for your children.

Just wanted to check in and say hello. Not much change on this front- except God keep providing the Word Life. That He provides Life.

I was reading back a couple of posts, and I am very thankful for our journey together. I know that we never know what the future holds, but we are doing this together. We might be in different places in our life, but this one thing is similar. We love our husbands, we choose Life. I'm still thinking of you, and praying for you.

Anything new?

Hi Sterlingea!

The only thing new is hubs got pneumonia again and had to go to the ER. He's back out now and the fever is gone. One of the doctors has scared me and said it only goes downhill from here. I need to pray about this.

Hubs still non responsive. I cry a lot less now. I used to cry all day every day. Now it is just every couple of days I have a good cry.

I'm going to get a part time job to help me move on with my life. John would want me to cry and get over it. He wouldn't want me in tears forever. I don't know where I will end up working. Somewhere nearby though.

I am going to see him again today. I'll hold his hand and tell him how much I love and miss him. I'll probably cry again.

How are things where you are? Are you keeping busy?

Hi, Pinkie,

My husband is also in the ER with pneumonia. Same thing... doctors said the same thing to me. Only downhill from here.

Are you sending him back to the nursing home? Are you comsidering a dnr? what are you thinking?

So sorry about your husbands pneumonia. Some antibiotics should fix him right up if he's anything like my husband.

I won't sign a dnr because of my sons wishes...he is 19 and I have to live with what I would do and how he would be affected. He doesn't want me to sign one so I won't. I don't want to upset my son.

If it were just me, at this point I would consider it. All the doctors say my husband is gone (so did God for that matter) and I would probably let him go. My son thinks differently. Since he is of age I consider what he wants.

I'm just grateful that I have him for now. I went to see him today and we put the mp3 earbuds in for him and played his favorite music. Still no response. But I got to kiss him and tell him that I love him again.

It still hurts really bad and today is one of those days where he is on my mind. He went back to the nursing home and they finished his round of antibiotics so the fever is gone and he is back to "normal".

Tomorrow I am putting in applications for work at a few places. If my husband were to die I would take a hit financially and I want to be ready for the worst should it happen. It probably won't but I just want to be ready for anything.

What are your thoughts? Are you signing a dnr? What made you think of that? Are the doctors pressuring you?

The doctors always pressure that. And, I do feel like they judge me. Judge me because my husband is lying in a bed with no quality of life. And, I don't want to make the decision ultimately. But, in my head, I want to do what is most loving for him. Also, he did briefly say that he wouldn't want to be just lying there... we discussed this earlier in the year when my dad passed away.

I don't know what to do, so I pray for God to tell me. And, he just keeps being silent... so, I think that means do nothing. Therefore I don't. I also believe that my kids should have every opportunity to have him as well. So, it's very confusing. However, our eternal life is promised in heaven. I know my husband is a believer, so I am not scared for his next place. He'll be in the holy of holies.

Still though, I feel so much pressure on this because doctors did say give him a chance. Saturday is 4 months since the accident, and I hate it. Besides, I am still at the point in knowing God is bigger than medicine, bigger than our brains and logic. He has a plan... and we're on the road. I can keep praying to not make the decision- as God will do it.

I went to the hospital yesterday, and they were doing a heart ultrasound. From what I understand, they do it to check any damage after cardiac arrest.

Do you have family? Are people good to you? Loving? I hope so. Although this is a really hard, difficult situation, I do feel loved by people all over. I hope that you know, I am thinking and praying for you. What's your husbands first name if you don't mind? then I can pray for him by name. Mine is Adam.

I also applied for a job. And, I have an interview one day this week. I will be praying for your financial situation, but remember it will be taken care of. We are thus far.

Much love from MO.

Thank you. My husbands name is John. We've been together for 20 years. I know how hard this is for you but you are strong, you've made it this far and I know you will finish the course whatever it may be.

Don't sign a dnr if you aren't ready. The doctors don't know your situation only your husbands. If you want him there for the kids then do all you can to keep him alive.

If it is true that our husbands are "gone" then you aren't hurting anything by keeping him alive. If God wants your husband, nothing those doctors can do will keep him alive. So don't worry about it.

My son is of age so I let him decide what will be done. I have my relationship with him to think about so I let him decide. He's 19.

Blessings on your job search, I will pray for you and adam both. I applied to three different places today. I will do the same on thursday and friday and so forth until I am successful. God will decide which job I get and I will be content with that.

We have a lonely hard road to walk but remember God is with us every step so we are never alone. Hang in there.

Stephanie

Yes, God is here. He's doing amazing things- it is a miracle that we've "met" here. My name is Britain. I'll be in touch soon too. :)