Coma Support Group
A coma is a profound state of unconsciousness. A comatose patient cannot be awakened, fails to respond normally to pain or light, does not have sleep-wake cycles, and does not take voluntary actions. Coma may result from a variety of conditions, including intoxication, metabolic abnormalities, central nervous system diseases, and hypoxia.
My husband fell into a coma June 7 2014 after his heart stopped and he stopped breathing. I called 911 I tried cpr. The ambulance men did cpr, the hospital did cpr and after 45 minutes got his heart started again. Now he is in a coma from lack of oxygen.
I hate myself. If I had done the cpr instead of calling 911 or done it better things would be different. He has gone from the intensive care unit to a facility that weans patients off respirators to a nursing home. He is off the respirator and breathing on his own now.
He opens his eyes for several hours a day. The past two days he has been turning his head. If I ask him to move his finger it moves. I don't know if this is him or seizure activity. I want to believe it is him.
I can feel his hand try to squeeze mine when I hold it. Again, is this him or just siezure activity like the neurologist said. She also told me to take him off the vent so he would die which I refused. Now he breathes on his own.
Sometimes his lips move. Other times he yawns a real big yawn like he is tired. I pray for God to heal him every day. I feel so helpless and frustrated. I hold his hand and rub his arm and talk to him. I tell him how much I love him and need him. I tell him not to give up to keep trying to move.
I feel alone in this. My son is suffering along with me but I feel all alone. Helpless. Hurt.
My heart goes out to all of you who are dealing with this. May God bless you and wake your loved one.
I hate myself. If I had done the cpr instead of calling 911 or done it better things would be different. He has gone from the intensive care unit to a facility that weans patients off respirators to a nursing home. He is off the respirator and breathing on his own now.
He opens his eyes for several hours a day. The past two days he has been turning his head. If I ask him to move his finger it moves. I don't know if this is him or seizure activity. I want to believe it is him.
I can feel his hand try to squeeze mine when I hold it. Again, is this him or just siezure activity like the neurologist said. She also told me to take him off the vent so he would die which I refused. Now he breathes on his own.
Sometimes his lips move. Other times he yawns a real big yawn like he is tired. I pray for God to heal him every day. I feel so helpless and frustrated. I hold his hand and rub his arm and talk to him. I tell him how much I love him and need him. I tell him not to give up to keep trying to move.
I feel alone in this. My son is suffering along with me but I feel all alone. Helpless. Hurt.
My heart goes out to all of you who are dealing with this. May God bless you and wake your loved one.
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My 6mo twin DD's are EBF and just started rice cereal on the first. Everything has been going fine except this morning one of them had a diaper rash (lots of redness around her anus). I read this as one of the signs of an allergy. BUT I did just buy a different brand diaper yesterday (which they have used randomly before w/no issues). Do you think its the cereal or the diaper? Im ready to start...
I am a recovering coma patient. My boyfriend kept a journal. It was more for him to see improvement (which is really there if you read back every , say, week) and for me to read who had been at my bed and sent cards and messages and such, once I could.
He also wrote about his feelings and fears. I can tell you it is absolutely heartbreaking to read his dispair.
So I know it is really hard on the partner.
Just be there and keep talking to him. You are doing the right thing. Doctors and nurses go from statistics and their own experience, but you know your husband. Trust your feelings. Its not always in the facts.
I am also a wife of my husband who has been in a coma/vegetative state since July 1, 2014. He was in an accident where he was working on his vehicle and it fell on him. He is also doing the same as your husband- opening eyes for a period of time, yawning, twitching, and moving head. The doctors are always negative.
I also pray for my husband to heal as we have a small child and I am two weeks away from having our second baby. I wanted to just to tell you that God is there with him, with our husbands. And, no matter what happens, you will be okay. I dearly miss my husband and I too want him to have total complete healing!
I spoke with a counselor this week, and I do recommend if your son is suffering that you have him speak to a counselor to talk about his feelings. It was beneficial to me, and I do feel if my daughter started to display actions that were different that I would look for counseling.
You are very strong. I will pray for you and your husband. I would love to see 2 miracles, and I know that this is not easy as what we are walking through is so emotional and difficult. Prayers and peace to you.
Sterlingea, I just want to let you know you will be in my prayers tonight. Especially with a baby on the way. I just want to tell you not to give up hope. He WILL get better. Pray. Believe and do NOT listen to the Drs. gloom and doom!
Ugh! If I had a dollar for every time they told me to pull the plug. And a dollar for everytime they said his brain was "destroyed". I had one doctor call me each week just to get me to pull the plug on him. Vile woman. Well now he is off the ventilator and breathing on his own so don't listen to thier gloom and doom.
He may be coming out of it. Yesterday I asked him to raise a finger and he did! He didn't repeat it but it was there. Four days ago he smiled at me.
Just take one day at a time. I'm sure your husband will wake up.
I read back that I did quite a bit of communicating with my eyes.
I would close them for no and look up for yes.
Asking yes and no questions is the best thing. He might give you other clues for yes and no, but if you watch closely, youll find them.
I hope both your husbands recover soon. Stay strong!
I surely miss my husband. I miss hearing his voice and seeing his smile.
Prayers for you as well. If you have questions about what I am seeing- I'd be happy to answer them.
Love you to you. Pinkie.
Today my hubs got the ok to be released from the hospital tomorrow back to the nursing home. They will continue antibiotics and re-weaning off the vent he had to go back on temporarily.
No response from him today but he opened his eyes and it looked like he was staring into mine. The diuretic is working and he is peeing buckets and the swelling in his arms and hands are going down.
Tomorrow I will see him in the nursing home again. They saved his private room for him. I am so grateful for that. Lets me weep in private if you know what I mean.
Please, both of you share your experiences. Bras, do you remember anything from your coma? What was it like to wake up etc...
Sterling, share your husbands progress and we will cheer each other on.
He does open his eyes sometimes, but this jerking will not allow him to fully rest. He moves his head occasionally... responds to touching with these jerks. It's all pretty unknown- he's on lots of seizure meds.
I just keep praying for Jesus to do something supernatural. Heal him. I miss him so much... as I know you do as well.
People are drawn to his room, as I feel is the holy spirit. I feel that it so easy to doubt, but I don't want to. I just keep praying.
My husband was on a lot of siezure meds. I think he still is. Once back in June they tried to take him off them and he spasmed so they put him back on them.
My husband is pretty still except it feels like he is trying to squeeze my hand. I don't know if this is seizures or not. He will turn his head, open his eyes, yawn and sometimes stretch. If I ask him to lift a finger sometimes he does it and keeps on doing it. Spasms? I don't know.
Lately his eyes have been moving around in their sockets whereas before they were sort of frozen facing front. He doesn't seem to be focusing on anything though that I can tell.
Your husbands spasms will calm down with time as the brain heals. Just keep praying, rubbing his arm, kissing his forehead, telling him you love him and chatting to him about your day and pregnancy.
Some people who wake up report they heard everything said so always treat him as though he can hear you. Thats what I do with my husband.
Bring a book bedside (one he would like preferably) and just read to him. The sound of your voice is soothing to him and to baby. Most of all, don't give up hope.
Jesus said anything you ask in my name I will do. So keep on asking, keep on seeking. I pray every single day sometimes just a simple wake him up please.
Feel free to share whatever is on your heart. I will listen with care.
Pinkie
You asked about what I remember (sorry for the late answer, but we are on holiday and I have limited time on the computer).
I cant really think back what the first memory was. I do remember being awake from time to time, but it seemed like I closed my eyes for seconds and next thing I know there were other people, or it was night. Later I learned there were hours or days even between those moments, but it felt like seconds.
It took me a while to get a grasp of time anyway. They used to tell me sort of by the hour what we were going to do and I just went with it. I am still learning to plan ahead.
I know from the journal that my heart rate would react to my boyfriend and music. Sometimes I would smile or cry silently.
But I cant say I remember hearing them. When I did start to hear them, I was well awake but I didnt quite understand.
But Im sure I was aware of them and did hear them, because of the physical reactions, so yes, do treat them as if they can hear you, because they do.
A funny thing is that I didt remember that "I" was the prober word to say about yourself. So I said my name. "N drink" and my boyfriend would say "do you want a drink?" and I would get angry and say "N drink!" thinking "you" was another person who would get it instead. Man, it took me sometime to figure that one out. LOL
Its nice to know that he is unaware of time. I feel horrid thinking of him just lying there day in and day out. How awful it must be.
Sometimes he will shed a tear or two. Then I cry with him. He is my one true love and I am helpless to do anything except beg God for help. This hurts so much.
Thanks for your reply it makes me feel better to think he is unaware of the hours he lies there.
At least you figured out I, you and they. I'm so happy for you that you are awake and on holiday.
We are about to move my husband in a nursing home too. And, I am scared for my children. I'm impatient and also keep begging God to wake him up sooner rather than later. This path is not like any other we've ever been on or known any one to be on.
My mind keeps asking if this is the most loving thing for him. And, I hate this. I am so sad that this is not faster and that he is not here. I just had our baby boy on labor day, and I don't want to be this wife with this husband in a coma for years and years. I feel guilty saying that, but I do feel like that isn't loving.
I'm sure today I'm sad and saying these things, I know that he would be eternally with God, the Father and that would not be worldly suffering, but I just don't know how to feel any more. I am profoundly sad, and I miss him so much.
My prayer and my hope still remains that he would awaken, but I am having the faith of a mustard seed.
Love and peace to you both.
No one wants to be the wife of a husband in a coma for any length of time. Don't feel guilty. No one wants this situation. Least of all me.
Every day I pray and ask God to wake him. Several times a day actually. Sometimes I thank God that the coma has ended, a thank you in advance.
My car has been in the garage all week so I have been unable to go and see him so I call the nurse on duty. They are all nice and tell me his blood pressure, temperature ect....it is a small consolation when I'd rather be by his side.
I'm taking my son to martial arts classes and I'm joining in. I have way too much time on my hands now that my beloved is in a coma. I go spend a few hours with him each day and then I have the whole rest of the day to do what?
It has been so many months I feel like he has died, yet he lives. I am going to go to a counselor because I'm grieving someone alive. I feel messed up inside. Some days are normal, other days I cry.
I have conflicting feelings about it. I just want him to wake up and come back to me. I miss him horribly. I want to talk to him again and have him respond. I want to see his smile, hear his laughter and have him annoy me by tickling my neck.
I feel helpless.
I also feel helpless- but the fact is that we are. I don't know how to accept that yet either, but we are. Out of control. Only able to look to God for help. He is in control- and we have to trust that this is for his purpose.
Also, where do you live? State is fine if no city? I live in MO.
I read a book called the long awakening by lindsey oconnor. Its how she woke up after being in a coma. I will check the library for the book you mentioned. If not there maybe amazon.com will have it. I could use all the hope I can get.
The hardest part of all this is I feel inside as though he has died. I grieve him. Its a little better lately but some days I cry, other times I feel sick in my stomach.
And I feel guilty. Like its all my fault. I know its not my fault his heart stopped but I feel like if I did cpr faster, didn't call 911, then I realize I needed that ambulance and I had to call them.
I just feel like I could have done better somehow. Like I failed him in his time of need. I get upset over these thoughts and feelings. Then I see him lying there and it starts all over again. I feel responsible.
I'm hoping a counselor will help with this. Plus going to karate class will take my mind off it for an hour anyway. I know he wouldn't want me to suffer indefinately over him. Yes he would expect some grief but then he would expect me to get over it. Which I don't see how I will do at this point.
Just try to keep busy with your precious new child that is half him you know. And if finances allow, take a class, art, karate, pottery whatever to give yourself an hour to think of something else. He wouldn't want you living your entire life in grief over him.
I want him to wake up. I don't like having to make decisions on my own like car repairs. I'm at the mercy of the mechanic and what he says. My husband used to do all the repairs and now I have to pay to have them done.
Its like I'm single all over again. Except my husband is in a coma. Waking up alone is hard, having coffee in the morning alone is hard. Eating alone is hard. Everything hurts and reminds me of him.
Some days I have to take it one minute to the next just to make it through. And I'm still scared a little. Like more bad things will happen or something.
I will be happy when I have come to terms with this or God wakes him. One day at a time, one minute at a time. Thats how I get through it.