So It starts with a feeling, not sure what it is but I react. I say something smart-ass because I don't know how to communicate with him. He immediately gets defensive. Reacts himself with hurtful words. Because I feel pain I react hurtful as well. I walk away and try to over analyze why I acted the way that I acted in the first place and why my mind can't let me communicate the way that I need to communicate. By now I'm crying and isolating. I try to read or watch TV but I can't get my mind to leave it alone. I start thinking about how messed up my head really is. I start psychoanalyzing myself reading way into too many things. Pretty soon I'm texting him and apologizing. Next I'm praising him and thanking him for staying with me for so long knowing how f***** up and crazy I am.... the circle happens again and again and again and again. I have nobody to talk to about this because I don't know where to begin. I have family and friends that love me and I know that they would hate that I sit here and suffer and isolation but I'm afraid I'm going to sound crazy I don't understand why I'm like this and I wish it would just go away.
I wake up in the morning and I am in pain. I go to bed in pain. Hips, legs (thighs and calfs), back sometimes, chest almost always, and my head. And while my head is more pressure than pain, the constant pressure and fogginess is enough to make me lose it and have a mental breakdown if I'm not careful. It doesn't stop long enough for a good break.Painkillers work to a point, but I take more than...
So to try make a long story short. Drug user for ten years. Been on subs for two. I've been cutting my dose when I feel I can. Now on 1mg. Any advice. Something might help. I know how drop my dose. It sucks. But really it mild. Just doesn't feel mild. Been so long been in full blow withdrawal. Really just want quit taking it. Know not a good idea.