So It starts with a feeling, not sure what it is but I react. I say something smart-ass because I don't know how to communicate with him. He immediately gets defensive. Reacts himself with hurtful words. Because I feel pain I react hurtful as well. I walk away and try to over analyze why I acted the way that I acted in the first place and why my mind can't let me communicate the way that I need to communicate. By now I'm crying and isolating. I try to read or watch TV but I can't get my mind to leave it alone. I start thinking about how messed up my head really is. I start psychoanalyzing myself reading way into too many things. Pretty soon I'm texting him and apologizing. Next I'm praising him and thanking him for staying with me for so long knowing how f***** up and crazy I am.... the circle happens again and again and again and again. I have nobody to talk to about this because I don't know where to begin. I have family and friends that love me and I know that they would hate that I sit here and suffer and isolation but I'm afraid I'm going to sound crazy I don't understand why I'm like this and I wish it would just go away.
Here is a good article by Darlene Lancer, i love her work. She has A book codependencyfor dummies. I heard it was good and easierto understand than melodie beattie CNM.
Hi, I'm new to this group.I have just realized I am codependent and that, without a doubt, relationships are an addiction for me. I have always believed that despite my troubled upbringing that I dodged addiction, but am coming to terms with the fact that I very much have an addiction and it has interfered with my development in huge ways. I think I've known for quite a long time but have never...