Always wondered how people felt with the 3/5 year plans

I think we all have a voice within, that's deep in our subconscious....who knows us better then we know our self and that's the one who has the answer to all of our questions. We just have to ask...and then be vigilant for the answer which will often come in a way we never could have predicted. That's been my experience.

I use to sabotage my future by judging it and telling myself I am not good enough to follow through with what I need to do to get to where I want to be and when I did that, I would always fail. When I became more mindful and started questioning the reasons why I was doing alot of the useless things I did, that's when things changed for me. I stopped allowing others to program me like a robot and I began doing the things that I wanted to do and at different times. I listened to my heart more instead of my ego and then realized I didn't have to work hard to get to where I wanted to be. Life was getting easier and better and I was loving every minute of it. It's not as difficult as we make it. No heavy lifting required.

I hope you can find some happiness...

I have this friend who knew exactly what he wanted in life. He got his doctorate and became a professor, working his way up to being president of a university. Eight years ago he was just finishing his doctorate, now he's dean of his department, and he keeps getting closer and closer to being president.

I went to school to get a job so that I would be able to support myself after my divorce. I made no other plans other than just being able to survive. I wish I knew what I wanted in life. I wish I had a goal.

It's very hard to live a life of rote, same day after day...yet I don't think you are giving yourself credit for ALL you have accomplished in a short time of just two years.

You became an independent person, making your own decisions and you needed to work through the painful loss of your marriage...those are Two Huge Events moving towards Standing On Your Own Two Feet.

I'm 70, and have never finished college, I just couldn't do algebra despite trying several times...I understand the going through life of not having a goal when I gave up trying.

All I can write is to find something that you like doing, knitting, sewing at night while watching tv to do something productive. Do you have anything that brings purpose and meaning to your heart, something that fills up your soul...for me it's cleaning two days a week to help a lovely couple stay in their home...I don't like doing the work, but they are such wonderful people I just leave feeling so good because I know I've really done something to help. Is there any type of volunteer work you might like to do? Help a child or senior?

The way you write about your life I'd say there are many who live this way. Try not to compare yourself to others, that is a sure way to feeling badly, instead maybe join a club, meetup to get with people who might inspire new ideas.

You will find your way <3
You Are Aware and that is a Huge first step towards change!

The change is within you. You’ve put effort into thinking things out.

I like to suggest brainstorming without judgement. Get out paper and pen. Write out these topic: travel, health, career, relationships, joy, education, family (as in you family you create), like to live, things to learn, hobbies, etc. under each thing brainstorm ideas. Don’t judge anything, write it down whatever comes to mind. Places you like to travel to or live. Any type of job you’d maybe like under career.

Learn about yourself. Be kind to yourself. If this is more like unrelenting depression, then find a good therapist after doing this activity.

My dream place to travel is Hawaii. It’s too expensive to live there and not the type of medical care locally that I have where I live now. Too much crime where I live now though. Always a trade off.

It sounds to me like you need to find something you are passionate about. I think you should try a variety of activities in your spare time, nothing too serious, just for fun and see where it leads you. For example, if you like animals try volunteering at an animal shelter once a week. Or if you like the outdoors and camping, maybe your goal would be to one day camp at a particular national park you like. My older brother is between jobs right now and doesn't know what kind of work or career direction to go, so he is taking this time off to work on fitness and getting healthy. So for now he has a fitness goal to focus on accomplishing, and after accomplishing it, he says he will shift his focus back on work. I think once you find something you are passionate about, you will naturally find goals to work towards. I suggest starting out with a fun goal, nothing too serious.

Hasty05, I lived in Hawaii for 16 yrs and relocated during covid. Ever year it was more expensive than the previous year and it got harder and harder to make it. Then when the covid lockdowns occurred, everything on my island was boarded up and ordered to remain closed for a year. These are all businesses that weren't BIG businesses or weren't declared essential. Problem is Hawaii's economy is like 80% depended on tourism. The lockdowns resulted in like 40% unemployment...and no money equals no food or pay mortgage, etc, means no living there. During that time cost of living skyrocketed and pretty much everyone I knew couldn't sustain living there and moved away. So I moved, too. I lived on Maui and now Maui is a pile of ashes! It will take them decades to recover.

I would not recommend making it a goal to live there. It has pretty views and perfect weather (God, I miss the temperate climate!), but financially stressful. Medical care is quite limited, too. So if you depend on specialized care, you probably won't find it there. And if you do, that doctor is most likely the only specialist in that field in the entire state, so you will have to wait months to see them.

Speaking of goals.....
Once I moved from Hawaii, my goal was to find a state I liked and move there. At the time I did not realize I was about to divorce my ex husband. But I needed to take care of myself (he's an alcoholic) so as soon as I picked a state and found an apartment, I filed for divorce. I am newly married again with my second marriage and we are in the process of getting our foster care license to foster children, which has been another goal of mine for many years. Most of my goals are short term goals (a year out or less). But I'm finally working on a long term goal which is foster care - something I could not do while being married to an alcoholic.

I like helping people....but, I can not help people who self-destruct, like my ex husband who drank his life away. This was a very hard lesson for me. If the person you are trying to help is sinking their own ship, get OFF that ship, grab a life-boat, and safe yourself!