I had an aha! moment I want to share.
I am well aware that I am at fault in my relationship as much as he is for all the toxicity we allowed to enter our home. Our arguments have been heated, passionate, and down right nasty! But since I woke up to the realization that I am severly codependant and controling and manipulative I am trying to calm this down. The way I do this is by changing my reactions.. I may still get quick to anger but I am not reciprocating the toxic verbal abuse.
He had some bad news Thursday and I started to get tense with anxiety the more agitated he got... This ended up in fight (like always) on Thursday night... on Friday I was still hurt.. but quiet. He left for work again and the bad news kept coming... This time I was ready for it.... I stood up to him and calmly explkained that we cannot talk to eachother like this anymore... I explained that we both have teenage daughters that are witnessing this abusive behavior and if his daughters boyfriend told her to "Shut the Fuck Up" he would probably kick him out of the house.
The aha moment came next: He deflected this by pointing out that her mother is dating a loser and this is what she is used to.... He refused to look at himself, he would neither agree nor disagree that the way he speaks to me is wrong.
I don't know what I can do with this new found dirt... but I hope I can learn to recognize more and more his refusal to change... and see how I am worthy of more!
hey guys I’m trying to get through the day without drinking can you offer me any support ?
I'm new to the group. My mom is a dry alcoholic but never been in recovery. For the third weekend in a row she has had a crisis and wanted me to come running over to her house / thirty miles away. She has had several things that she has wanted me to do for her this summer. I work. But with an alcoholic or even a dry alcoholic it just never is ENOUGH they want MORE MORE MORE... I went and...