I had an aha! moment I want to share.
I am well aware that I am at fault in my relationship as much as he is for all the toxicity we allowed to enter our home. Our arguments have been heated, passionate, and down right nasty! But since I woke up to the realization that I am severly codependant and controling and manipulative I am trying to calm this down. The way I do this is by changing my reactions.. I may still get quick to anger but I am not reciprocating the toxic verbal abuse.
He had some bad news Thursday and I started to get tense with anxiety the more agitated he got... This ended up in fight (like always) on Thursday night... on Friday I was still hurt.. but quiet. He left for work again and the bad news kept coming... This time I was ready for it.... I stood up to him and calmly explkained that we cannot talk to eachother like this anymore... I explained that we both have teenage daughters that are witnessing this abusive behavior and if his daughters boyfriend told her to "Shut the Fuck Up" he would probably kick him out of the house.
The aha moment came next: He deflected this by pointing out that her mother is dating a loser and this is what she is used to.... He refused to look at himself, he would neither agree nor disagree that the way he speaks to me is wrong.
I don't know what I can do with this new found dirt... but I hope I can learn to recognize more and more his refusal to change... and see how I am worthy of more!
I'm glad this site is still up and running but I really missed the layout of the old website. It was much easier to read people's post and connect with people because it had a chat feature on here and it was just easier to navigate through. I wish they would make the layout a little bit better than what it is now...
Looking for answers...need a doctor for elective amputation of a dead leg, has anyone done this? Our doctors want to keep the leg and just leave it in a plactic brace forever to drag around, its an anchor and burdrn. Amputation and training with a prosthetic could restore quality of life and mt father could walk without a cane or even run again someday. I am asking all over for months now but...