Codependency Support Group

Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...

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Hating myself

michellebrand
michellebrand

So, the SO is showing me love, encouragement, um... Even some sex. And I get suspicious.... Self sabotage much?!?!. He is really doing amazing things, he opened his own business, he got custody of his kids, he is losing weight and working out....and what do I do? I start to think about myself, and how fat I am... And how I feel inadequate... Why can't I just be happy for him without panicking that he will leave me. I start thinking this is all a ploy, he is just using me and as soon as he gets enough money, or guts, or another chick he will be out the door. Holy hell what is wrong with me? I shod be happy.. I should be showering him with praise... But instead tonight I tell him I'm feeling insecure. And because he doesn't give me what I'm begging for... I pour and start a fight. I am a fucked up individual. I need help. 

Community Leaderbobinmaine
bobinmaine
Your problem is a lack of self love and that is why you feel so insecure. Maybe you can offer to go to the gym with your so and work out right along with him if you want to improve your stamina. I remember when I was married, when we went to the gym together, those were some of the best times of my life! You can either do that or offer to do other things with your so. It's totally up to you but if you continue to self sabotage, you may be driving him away.

God Bless
carriesgonnalose
carriesgonnalose
First of all - poor guy! I have watched friends and fam member be treated that way and I wondered why they dont just leave those nags and find a good nice lady to appreciate them and their hard work. (Sorry if that offends you but its true)
Second of all, u are being insecure and needy. U need to woman up and its ok to let your guard down a little. Love him and let him love u. If the day comes and he up and leaves you atleast youll be able to say it was nothing you did and you were just as good to him as he is to u. As long as you know your not at fault then theres nothing much to stress over.
Sounds like you could use some bettering yourself as he is doing for himself. Look into opening yourself a business, going back to school or whatever else you would like in your life.
Gd luck.
michellebrand
michellebrand
Thank you.. Its easy to say.. Just love yourself more.. I wish I could just tell myself that i am worthy and believe it. I wish I could look at my body and say it's beautiful, I wish I could look at him and say I deserve a guy like you.... But I have tried and it doesn't work. I know I have deep rooted hate towards myself that needs to be worked on, but therapy is expensive so I try to pour my heart out here... It's a start that i am recognizing it and wanting to change.
11Christmases
11Christmases
You said, "because he doesn't give me what I'm begging for.."

What did you mean by this?
Community Leaderbobinmaine
bobinmaine
I don't know if you have a Higher Power or not but lots of times, a belief in a Power greater then ourselves can help heal us. There is a good book called "The 12 steps for everyone who really wants them" which is the AA 12 steps adapted for EHA (Emotional Health Anonymous) I think this book will help you. I have an extra copy I will send you for free if you send me your address.

God Bless
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