I think we find it hard to accept compliments because we really don't believe we deserve them. We devalue ourselves. And sometimes we women were taught that we had to be nice and we should never be assertive. We were sometimes taught to not accept compliments by our parents who unfortunately were the same way. They didn't intend to teach us these bad ideas, they just did them and we learned from them. Someone taught them they had little value and didn't deserve compliments or that women need to stay meek. That alcoholic parent who never had anything nice to say was projecting their pain and dislike of themselves onto others in order to reduce their own pain. It is sick but that is how many people are in the world. You see this now, and you know to run away fast.

So as for that life coach. Let me explain something. This is my pet peeve. Life coaches are just regular people hardly trained in whatever they are saying they can help you with. I may offend many. They are not licensed by the state like therapists and psychologists and psychiatrists have to be. Therapists have to have at least a masters degree and then post masters training and licensure. But like any profession, not every real credentialed therapist is any good, either. Whatever that life coach said to you, well -- disregard it. They have no real training. Some get certified by a "course" run by another life coach. Life coaches have their place but they are not real clinical therapists but they often portray someone with real skills, real training, and a lot of success. Maybe this is all fake. Sounds like you figured out this was one of the worse life coaches out there. I am sorry you experienced this. The public doesn't know the difference so I am off my soapbox now.

Practice saying thank you when people compliment you. Nothing else, just thank you. You deserve many compliments and to graciously accept them because you do have value and worth even if dad had his issues and mom couldn't cope. Or boyfriend was awful and mean. You get the picture, you are one smart person.

I agree it can be hard accepting compliments. Feedback is great, though - if you heard the same compliment from two different people, that's a good sign that other people see you this way as well.

I personally get uncomfortable accepting compliments, especially from men whom I see as friends and not potential romantic partners. I think I am afraid that I'm expected to compliment them back, and usually I'm not prepared with anything to say - it gets uncomfortable. Could any of that be happening to you too - wondering if they will expect something from you, after they compliment you? Could you be getting angry, thinking something is expected of you? It is great that you are working on yourself.

Good advice given already in the above posts.

As said, could it be that you felt this person is expecting *something* back from you, that they have ulterior motives for saying that they "used to" remember you as that kind of person? That did strike me odd, that someone would say that they remember you a certain way... almost seems like they are expecting the same behavior from you now? Just an observation.

Like you said, it could have been triggering for you, due to childhood upbringing.

To this day, I get taken aback or am taken off guard if someone gives me a certain kind of compliment. Mostly because I wasn't expecting them to say something like that, and in that moment. I usually say, "Oh, thanks! Nice of you to say." And I'll keep it at that. I don't usually give them a compliment right back, as that might seem insincere.

Maybe start by complimenting yourself. When you're getting ready in the morning, stop a moment in the mirror and think to yourself, or say out loud, "My hair looks cute like that!" "This shirt I'm wearing looks good on me!" Things like that.

You can also go on YouTube and search "how to accept compliments" for some videos to watch (it's all free videos).