Chronic Pain Support Group
Physicians and professionalsdefine pain as chronic if it lasts longer than three to six months and is persistent. It's distinct from acute pain that is a direct result of injury or trauma. This support group is dedicated to those suffering from chronic pain. Discuss treatments that have worked for you, find advice for your specific experience, and find support. You're not...
Okay, I'm not trying to be weird here or anything. I've seen no mention of this, and I KNOW I am not the only one in this instance. I'm usually a pretty private person, so I'm going to keep this vague.
I was going to ask does anyone else, but I already know that, so, I guess it would be, when you miss how things used to be, and the pre-pain, pre-meds- pre- exhaustion sex is one of them, does it break your heart a little?
I'm an old married woman who, after 15 years together, is still very much in love with my husband. With good reason, he is a wonderful husband. In every way. ( is that vague enough?) I, on the other hand, am not the wife I used to be. Not to look at and not in, um, any of my actions (I was going to say not in action, ha, ha, I think I think I'm trying too hard to be careful. My husband would probably ammend that to inaction ha)
Okay,I said seriously and I meant it. It sometimes makes me so sad for me and for him how much my health has changed that part of our love.
No offense to anyone's sensibilities,I hope.
I was going to ask does anyone else, but I already know that, so, I guess it would be, when you miss how things used to be, and the pre-pain, pre-meds- pre- exhaustion sex is one of them, does it break your heart a little?
I'm an old married woman who, after 15 years together, is still very much in love with my husband. With good reason, he is a wonderful husband. In every way. ( is that vague enough?) I, on the other hand, am not the wife I used to be. Not to look at and not in, um, any of my actions (I was going to say not in action, ha, ha, I think I think I'm trying too hard to be careful. My husband would probably ammend that to inaction ha)
Okay,I said seriously and I meant it. It sometimes makes me so sad for me and for him how much my health has changed that part of our love.
No offense to anyone's sensibilities,I hope.
Seriously I do know what you mean. It's hard to find the enthusiasm after a long day trying to stay out of trouble. Also most meds have side effects that include reduced sex drive and sleepiness. Then add in the physical limitations that are part of our lives.
First thing you need to do is talk to your doctor. He's heard it all before so don't be embarrassed. Tell him about this side effect and ask if there is another med that might be better or if he can give you something to counteract it.
If that doesn't work then check out the adult aisle in your drug store. There are lots of products sold over the counter that can enhance the experience .. if you know what I mean.
And then talk to your partner. Explain what you can't do physically and figure out something else. Get a book if you need to :) Maybe change the time of day if that helps.
Bottom line is talk about it and figure it out. Sex is a huge part of the human existence. No reason to let it suffer....damn it's one of the things we can control.
I met my bf after I got hurt though so he got into this knowing my limitations to some extent. Luckily he is very understanding and loves me just the same. He suffers from severe sleep apnea so is fatigued so much of the time that sex is not much of an issue. We are very affectionate and love to cuddle - so far so good. I'm very blessed to have met someone so understanding.
I'm alone so someone has to have some fun and the intimacy that comes with it.
Best wishes
Irockit, I NEED that kitten/lion picture, where'd you get it?
Tenderness and Caring
Yes I understand where you are coming from here and I know how it feels when you want CLOSE intimacy - connection - ( not saying a couple doesn't share intimacy at any other time together) but its different when it comes to love making. Its bonding in a different way.
And of course--- there are times when there is just nothing like that pleasure--- but there are times when I try to put it outta my mind because it would just take too much energy - not to mention other aspects of the whole situation.
Im glad you brought it up because its a natural part of life and of being a couple and its good to talk about with friends here that *probably*have experienced this in some way or another.
My situation has gotten MUCH MUCH better, but thats probably because I basically feel better overall... there is always hope my dear! I am not exactly where I would like to be with it all- but there is always time. :)
If... I feel better on a certain day/ night... I will go for it ... LOL... Im usually the one to initiate things because DH doesn't want me to feel bad or whatever - he knows a thing or two about patience... wonderful man.
And the old cliche' about feeling "SO MUCH BETTER" afterwards ... basking in the afterglow LOL... Its true! Its just getting there to that place basically making the effort that I have a problem with lol... with that in mind, I cant quite figure out why on earth I dont remember the "during" and "after" parts because they are SO SO good! Ha ha ha ha -- ack! Heck I dunno... lol
If it might help, I would also suggest very openly working to find what positions work best, and don't feel distressed about it--I've never had a partner who didn't like trying new positions. Make it a game, smile, pretend you're a princess who will choose the suitor who makes her most comfortable, with the most pillows, whatever. As a man I adore a woman who tells me what she likes best.
It's a tough problem, thanks for mentioning it.