Chronic Pain Support Group
Physicians and professionalsdefine pain as chronic if it lasts longer than three to six months and is persistent. It's distinct from acute pain that is a direct result of injury or trauma. This support group is dedicated to those suffering from chronic pain. Discuss treatments that have worked for you, find advice for your specific experience, and find support. You're not...
I loved reading the letter to people who don't suffer from chronic pain. I kept stopping, rereading and thinking...YES...that's exactly what they need to understand about me!
I emailed it to my sons, sister and a few very close friends. I got such a sweet, wonderful, loving response from my sister. She handles it better than anyone else. She sees what I need and just shows up to help...never saying, "what can I do for you?". She knows.
And then there's my Mother....where to start? She's 84 and in good health, though she gave us a scare and ended up with a pacemaker last Fall. She also has age related pain from arthritis, but she and my 88 year old Dad still go dancing and have a wonderful group of friends to socialize with.
The difficult part for me is her constantly insisting on doing things to help and starting every day with a phone call inquiring about exactly how I feel.
This afternoon she stopped in with a chicken she had roasted for me. She's always trying to feed me which is particularly irritating since my lifelong battle with anorexia was created by her when I was a child. Then she said something that I had remembered from the letter.
"Gee...you look better today"...to which she wanted to hear m say that I felt good. Instead, all I could think to say was, "Well, that's good".
I will learn how to live with this now that I've found all you wonderful people!
I emailed it to my sons, sister and a few very close friends. I got such a sweet, wonderful, loving response from my sister. She handles it better than anyone else. She sees what I need and just shows up to help...never saying, "what can I do for you?". She knows.
And then there's my Mother....where to start? She's 84 and in good health, though she gave us a scare and ended up with a pacemaker last Fall. She also has age related pain from arthritis, but she and my 88 year old Dad still go dancing and have a wonderful group of friends to socialize with.
The difficult part for me is her constantly insisting on doing things to help and starting every day with a phone call inquiring about exactly how I feel.
This afternoon she stopped in with a chicken she had roasted for me. She's always trying to feed me which is particularly irritating since my lifelong battle with anorexia was created by her when I was a child. Then she said something that I had remembered from the letter.
"Gee...you look better today"...to which she wanted to hear m say that I felt good. Instead, all I could think to say was, "Well, that's good".
I will learn how to live with this now that I've found all you wonderful people!
I find myself getting a little exasperated, a lot amused...and have been rolling my eyes over here in Iowa...because unless people live where we live, they truly just don't get it.
I have such a great friend here...yet she keeps insisting that "you can do things" and that I need to do more and do it better and quicker....and the nincompoop does not realize that doing ANYTHING is an epic battle and a triumph, and unknowingly throws daggers at me because I am moving too slow and I need "to get out more" and "do more," yadda, yadda, yadda.
That letter is helpful for people. But I find that they quickly "forget" and go right on being people. (People are interesting, as I am sure that all of you can attest to that.)
Long live CPers....kill the pain, but Lord, long live us all...we should be bronzed.LOLOL
Gentle huggggssss to you.
She sure doesn't have a clue.
Hugs To All,
The idea of Tango lessons only made me laugh...now she's on to Salsa!
OH wait..... then we'd be called addicted to "happy hormones" instead of chronic pain. :-) :-)
Mom talked like that to me until late stage cancer left her in pain. Then she FINALLY understood.
People who are not in chronic pain can't understand what it is like to never ever get away from it. They try to relate it to the flu or surgery. But it is nothing even near that so they are lost.
It wasn't until I found this wonderful group of people that I felt understood.
Hugs (always gentle)
My sister will call me to complain about her life, she will go on and on for an hour about her root canal but if I try to talk about what I am going through she changes the subject. the only family that doesn't ignore or pretend that I don't have a problem is my husband, kids and believe it or not.. my in-laws, even though they live too far away to help, they at least acknowledge my condition, but that is more to give hubby their support.
I can't help but feel a bit jealous because with my family, my condition does not exist, it is something we don't discuss which makes it hard for me to have a relationship with them that is anything more than superficial, I feel closer to some of the people on this post then I do to my family anymore, they are more like strangers to me.
cc... what a perfect sum up of your tireless, uninvited efforts here. maybe your advice does have merit. if only would take it.
if only. if pigs flew and if a**holes walked. if i could just get a nickle for every time you mentally abuse a person in chronic pain here: i could hire a lawyer and make the kind of complaints that i'm sure many of your less "law-savvy" clients are interested in and yet afraid to file.
why have you invited such negativity to a support forum?
why? and how dare you hypocritically suggest that we uninvite these negative influences when you, yourself are one we cannot control, drive away or limit our exposure to. you're just a failed author behind a screen and we can't get rid of you. imagine what it must be like for us to actually cut ties with damaging influences in our pools of friends and family when we can't even drive your negativity from what was once a support group!
your answers are all easy, though. black and white depictions of a galaxy of hues of grey.
Then they start to believe that we must be lazy. Because clearly if we just moved around more we would feel better.
Remind me of a doctor who told me to lose weight for my bad back BEFORE the arthritic changes showed on film.
I am 5'8" tall and weighed 103 lbs at the time. I literally looked at myself to wonder if he was talking to me.
I am so glad that you have support. That is important to make life worth living.
Invitations have not been sent for a 'pain party'! I'm just trying to do what I have to do and get through each day...one painful day at a time!
Thanks to all of you who are supportive.