After reading up several articles on the web I now realize that I am a victim of workplace bullying. This is not the first time I have had this realization. But it sort of went away for a while. I thought it had stopped. Since this is a cfs forum I just want to get some feedback on how to deal with this emotionally, since it is draining all my energy. I feel so lonely because cfs has left me with almost no friends. I have enough with having to deal with cfs. And now this. I feel very lonely.

As much as possible focus on the parts of your job that you love. This will help you associate the job with joy rather than stress. Actively try to think of something else when she comes to mind, except for when you are ready to think about how to deal with her.

The way she is acting may be breaking some discrimination laws. Treating you different than she did before you became disabled (in a negative way) is not legal. At least not in the U.S. In addition the college may have some rules against this behavior. I don't know if colleges have teacher's unions but if they do there is help there too.

I do suggest you pursue this. I get the not being up to fight it. There are those that are supposed to to the fighting for you. Depending on what is available to you, I recomend seeking out the following people: Human Resources Department or equivalent, her boss, Union Representative.

Surely there is some department at the college that handles appropriate employee conduct. If it isn't any of the above, find out who handles it.

When you discuss it I recomend using phrases such as "hostile without provocation" and "would prefer not to hire a lawyer".

No need to tell that you are too tired to fight it. They may scramble to do it all for you to avoid a scandal.

Oh yes, another place to try. There are places to report illegal work behavior. Hopefully the college has a place to report such things. Even if they don't, the government does. By law they must post signs with this information on it. If you don't want to be caught staring at the posters, the information can probably be found on the internet.

Sorry this is happening to you. My employers didn't like it when I went down to part time either. I used the Family Medical Leave Act. Hmm....you ought to take a look at it. It does have a portion that says you can use it for reducing hours rather than taking time off if it is helpful. It also has all that nice stuff about reasonable accomodations.

It does say right in the FMLA that your employer may not discriminate against you for using FMLA. It gives some examples of what is and isn't permissable.

i'm just gonna give you a hug.............it will happen in 5,4,3,2,NOW.......soft gentle and not let go until you're ready. we all have times when we need to regroup, here.......we understand that stress, upset can knock us on our keesters! we need to remain on an even keel as much as possible.

i like the ideas shared about recourse.........nobody has the right to bully and you need others to help you with this. you don't have to be a table of one in this.........seek help via HR or the teachers union......whatever options are available to you. we can cheer you on and others can step up with you to help carry the load.

in the meanwhile, focus on rest, feet up.........relaxation time.......and only give this so much of your time and then move on. vent for a few minutes and then reclaim some of your power with a goal oriented plan towards resolution for a few minutes and then REST........destress...........take care........xoxo

You are not alone. Just this week I dealt with a similar issue, I was able to stand up for myself but it was so exhausting. I realize this person is picking on me more and more, and unfortunately, because my performance is not where I want it to be, to some extent I have to take the beating because I could be doing better.

I learned along this journey not to let individuals steal my joy in the workplace. I have learnt to do the best I can at what I can and despite my perfectionist nature .. to let go of what I can't accomplish even though I don't meet my own goals.

I have learn't to be tolerant of those who bully, to look at them as unhappy souls crying out for help, and to pity the fact that they have to undermine others in order to make themselves feel better.

I have learnt not to take it personally, those who bully target their ire at everyone they can, its not about you.

I have learnt to meditate, be grateful for my job, be grateful for what I can accomplish in that context, be grateful for and gain fulfillment from the aspects of my life outside of my job.

I have in my life proven that by consciously focusing on changing the way I respond to these persons (rather than focusing on trying to fix them), I have turned negative work experiences around and in so doing have acutally improved my relationships with my 'oppressors' ..isn't it ironic that the person who made my life hell for 5 years and who engineered the loss of my last job, turned out to be the one who opened the door to my current job (which is so much better).. I called him up and thanked him .. he was so surprised.

The power is yours to find peace in the midst of the storm. Fight back if you can but if it worsens your state work on letting go and trust that no matter what happens..you'll be fine.

Blessings

PS : If your students are complaining you may want to look into it. Being ill does affect the quality of our output, you don't want to cheat your students.

It also helps to know how much of what is coming at you is genuinely constructive feedback and how much is just the destructive rambling of a petty person.

PPS : You can walk a mile? Dang that's great. Hope to get there one day soon.

I had an issue like this once with a female supervisor and I knew whatever her issue was, it was total BS b/c I knew I was being super responsible and professional. Turns out she was having an affair with her boss and was jealous of all females.

If it were me in your shoes, I would send her an email, CC her boss or others above the two of you and ask for her to list in writing what her issues are and repeat some of the things she said to you about cutting your salary. To me, that is total BS. You don't cut a person's salary like that. You give them details, and a chance to change, a warning or sorts.

Seeing you cc her boss, she might end up with a different tact to it, back down, you never know. My husband is an adjunct, part timer, and I can't imagine a pay cut for this position ever.

Maybe you could think of a practical way to explain why you are cc'ing her boss/es. Perhaps something like "Dr. Superior, do you have any insight into why I am not getting a good review ... have you seen any flaws in my work?"

Sometimes just putting in in black and white in an email will knock a bully down and reset the relationship. good luck.

gabriel2012 I wish you would say if you're a man or a woman. Only at a university do they think men & women are interchangable. They believe the only difference is the plumbing. Go over her head until you get to a male authority figure that is over her. Go all the way up to the president if you have too. If you don't deal with this, you're going to explode in a fit of rage and be fired. Most women would rather have a male boss than a female boss. Keep going up the food chain until you find a male authority figure that is not a liberal *ussy. That may be hard to do as liberal as our universities are, but there must be somebody.

I don't think your supervisor's gender has anything to do with anything. I am female and have had much better luck with female supervisors. Also usually liberal universities are the ones open to accommodations, LOAs, etc. Lets try not to let our political views color our advice. It sounds like if you had the energy to barrel your way to the top until you "found a male" you wouldn't have written your message in the first place. Work situations are so tricky. Only you know how much energy you have, and what your comfort level is with confrontation. Anything that is going to potentially jeopardize your health further (stress, etc.) needs to be avoided. If you can find some ways to manage the stress (meditation, light yoga-there are short relaxation things on YouTube to train yourself to relax in whatever way works best for you. Take a 15 mins break and go somewhere private... Not sure, but if the confrontation is too overwhelming (which it ands like), I would focus on what you can control. Good luck!!

Completely disagree PeaceWanted. I think gender has a LOT to do with it. Gabriel2012, complicates things by not stating if she is male or female. Most men hate working for a woman supervisor. You have to constantly dance around their emotions. The female supervisor is always trying to prove she's just as tough as one of the boys. I remember one time this young lady came up to me at a temporary job and said, "I'm the supervisor here, you got a problem with that?" I said, "It depends on your attitude". She didn't know what to say to that. Moreover I've found that when women are in charge of anything, things are generally more screwed up. I have far more work experience than you do, and I have worked at many more jobs than you have. Women supervisors is an unfortunate aspect of our culture. Our dads in the 50's and 60's didn't have to deal with this nonsense.
I'm not saying that in every situation a woman can't be the boss. But, I'm saying in our liberal misguided culture, it is an error to think that there should be 50% female supervisors and 50% male supervisors. That's the point I'm trying to make. That it is false to say there are no differences between the sexes when it comes to the position of supervisor.

But let's assume gabriel2012 is a woman. Gabriel is a male name, but a butterfly for an avatar is feminine. So, she is really giving us a curve. Is gabriel2012 experiencing sexual harassment from a male? Is gabriel2012 experiencing harassment from a female supervisor? She doesn't say--if she is a she. You don't think that would matter? You don't think the gender matters? I say it does, and you are wrong to say that it doesn't. gabriel2012 is not proving enough information about her situation, and since she hasn't been back, she doesn't really want our advice anyway--is she is a she.

PeaceWanted regarding your solutions they are purly defensive. You're telling gabriel2012 how to defend against the supervisor. I would confront--very calmly and with respect of course. No joy then, I would go over the supervisors head--whether the supervisor is male or female. I would come against the supervisor by the power of my God, and believe me things would change.

But by the power of your god, nothing would change because yoga is an activity that opens one up to the power of demonic spirits. It is a passivity of the mind which opens it up to the control of the underworld--that same way drugs do.

Obviously your advice and my advice are about 100% in opposite directions. I believe that since gabriel2012 hasn't been back since 4/11/13 that she isn't really looking for a solution but rather emotional comfort.

End zone,,
Your bigoted, misogynystic response proves my point. All I am trying to say is that political views, opinions on women, etc. are irrelevant to advice and support people need here. I guess one can only have opinions if they conform to your world views; very sad. Didn't expect to join this site to be attacked b/c of a difference of political/religious views.

EndZone, what the heck? Are you on crack? You are literally spewing nonsense, and you're coming off incredibly close-minded and ignorant.

EndZone, Please try to be a little more offensives, why don't you?! (Yes, that is sarcasm just in case it isn't clear). Seriously, perhaps the reason that you have had so many problems with female supervisors is that your attitude & pre-judgement are so blatantly obvious.

I've worked under two bully women bosses in my day, one in a university. I am hoping you can find the strength and ability to help yourself out, in any moral way you can. You are not alone, and you must know that this illness steals so much of ourselves from us, wishing you the best luck with your work and your health.

My dtr. is chair at a college but began as a teacher and told me that her laziest students gave her the worst reviews. love, Abby

First go to an endrocrinologist, have some lab work done. There is your proof, get your doctor to write a letter. Next if you can type and read all this then you can search for a discrimination Lawyer! Find one tell them your situation and give them the letter! See what they have to say. Next find someone on the school board over you director and fill them in with documentation. Next record your conversations on your phone or pocket recorder. There is your proof! Lawyer time. You will need to do some work but it will be worth it! Doctor proof and discrimination laws will put her in check! Then have your students come to you if they have questions! Still have to do your job!