CHRISTIAN PARENTS of ESTRANGED ADULT CHILDREN Community Group
Estrangement makes it difficult to talk about with family, friends, neighbors and church members. Christians are NOT immune to broken families. Talk about your experiences with those who know how you feel and get positive support through your Christian faith...."In these last days difficult times will come, for men will be lovers of self...disobedient to parents,...
I got an email this morning from my ES. He said he loves us and misses us. He still knows we were awful parents, but wants to resume a relationship. Perhaps I should be jumping with joy but I'm not. Why is that? Have I let my heart harden toward him? God knows I love him. God knows I did my best to be a good Mom to him. God knows I pray for him and his family, for a happy marriage and for our grandchildren. My DH and I pray blessing on them faithfully. But since his horrible anger, bitterness and outrageous accusations towards us, something died in me and I have given up hope of reconciliation. We haven't even been praying for that. I don't know how to reconcile with someone who believes I am a despicable person who ruined his life. Wouldn't I be aware of that every time I would be in his presence? Wouldn't it be ridiculously uncomfortable? How am I supposed to believe it when he says he loves me? Really?? I know "God gives grace when you need it". But the sad question is ~ do I want it? I'm afraid his feelings are temporary. I'm afraid if we reconnect there will come a time when he reverts back to his bitterness and estranges himself all over again. I love his wife too, and their three children. My heart aches for them. But do I ever want to chance starting at square one with estrangement and the pain it has been? I honestly have no idea how to answer him. Do you know what would God want me to do?
If I can be of help to anyone please let me know. I am here for you.
We all need to realize that when we explain our situation in a group and ask for help that sometimes we may not like the advice someone gives. That is the chance we take when asking in the first place. What I said was just as valid as anyone else's opinion and I deserve respect as much as anyone on here. I don't get hurt easily I just usually let people reveal their motives through their words.
However....I choose to forgive and will not allow this to deter me from helping others who are hurting and need guidance, love and prayer. Sometimes it may not be what they want to hear but it does come straight from my heart when I give it and God knows that I mean no harm.