Caring For Aging Parents Support Group

Caring for aging parents can be a difficul time as we become the caretakers for our parents. This broad responsibility can encompass such services as assisted living, adult day care, long term care, nursing homes, hospice care, and in-home care. Whether you have just started caring for your parents or just need a place to talk, we're here.

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Annoyed

TenderHeart599
TenderHeart599

My parents are getting older and still live in a huge house in which they only use 30% of it and don’t clean it. My mom is starting to get dementia and I feel like if she would interact more and be involved in more activities she would do better mentally. They both suffer from depression and don’t do anything about it even after I point things out and give suggestions. My dad is terminally ill w different chronic diseases and handles that by drinking. He was being healthy again but turned to drinking again after another diagnosis. Guess I just have to wait for him to fall down again so I can call the ambulance to come pick him up for forced rehab and detoxification.

Empathy66
Empathy66
I feel for you, if thats the situation now and your dad cant cope, as your mums dementia gets worse, things really are going to get bad.
You need help from the local authorities, family members, whomever to give you support. You cant make them sell and down size but maybe you could go in and clear out stuff?
I wish you all the best.
TenderHeart599
TenderHeart599
Things have improved slightly. My mom had a talk w my dad and I think he is drinking less and getting up and doing more. My mom sees how stubborn and negative my dad is being and I think it helped her w her own depression and she is being more grateful and going out to help others and be involved w people more. I go over there 1-2 times a week to take trash out and make thrift shop piles for my mom to take to thrift shop to clean their house out. So I’m happy to see even a little improvement. Hope my dad is in good spirits for Father’s Day. If not for me , his grandson. His other two granddaughters were here for a week from TX and he didn’t get to enjoy them much because he was busy drinking and I’m assuming self loathing or feeling bad for himself. I told him he isn’t dead yet. Well, I’m just glad my mom said he is doing even a little better. Maybe once I clean everything out, which will take forever, then they can consider downsizing and moving. At least I can have a little help from my mom right now while I can. I don’t really have anyone to help me except my fiancé. The house is too dirty for him to help due to his bad allergies. But he can help me move trash to the curb or make thrift shop runs. Thanks for your support!
TenderHeart599
TenderHeart599
Yep I had an argument w my dad a week ago. “Dad, you have the option of going to two different detox center, one on one counseling, AA group or getting on anti depressants. Which one of those do you want to try? Because otherwise you will fall down again and go to the hospital and rehab which you said you hate.” So of course he said he didn’t want to do any of those. Yep, he fell down again. My mom calling 911. Hallelujah, now he can’t drink for awhile and can clean up again. I’m at a loss but also somewhat relieved. It’s what needed to happen for him to get help since he won’t help himself.
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