vt, the next time that you talk with a woman who is making a long list of things that she wants in her next man, i think that you will see what is really going on when she makes that list.

Regardless of what the Jerry Maguire sentence means after we try to analyze it in the logical, cold, technical process, that line "You complete me" is so powerful, so meaningful, so beautiful, in that sequence, after we followed the entire story up to that point.

The character's life up to that professional victory was moved by the believe that he could do everything and anything alone. My interpretation is: "when I finally got what I thought I wanted, I realized that it didn't matter because I did not have you by my side with your son who I also love dearly, to celebrate - so the victory didn't matter anymore if I could not celebrate with the ones I really love and care about." It wasn't substitution. It was in addition to.

That movie still touches my heart.

Hey Mondo, I like that movie too. The story is believable on many levels. No matter how jaded we become, I think, secretly we all hope that kind of love stories will happen to us.

Hi VTGuy, I believe that love stories happen every day! They may not last, they may be temporary and for sure they may enrich people's lives in many ways.

We all have somehow experienced that at least once in our lifetime. No one ever told me I complete him... but it would be nice to hear :)

Well then CMondo, let me be the first to say that, you completed this thread :)

That gives me a sense of accomplishment :) At least something I can complete - haha.

TML:
your post is exactly like mine about learning to be single (and whole by oneself) before even attempting to be with someone else. It is the healthy thing to do: to stand alone without someone holding you like a tripod or a crutch. It is only once we are fully whole that we are ready to freely and truly join another soul in a healthy and happy way.

@ Loving: It isn't a matter of becoming a whole person. Everyone is already whole just as they are. People who "feel" incomplete are merely out of touch with a part of themselves. They can get in touch with that side of themselves whenever they wish. Feelings can be very, very wrong.

We wear several hats whether single or coupled. We have to develop our skills at leading single, independent lives to be true equals in relationships.

Lovingmyselffirst: "It is the healthy thing to do: to stand alone without someone holding you like a tripod or a crutch."

I happen to disagree.

I was just talking with my therapist regarding this subject this afternoon during my session. I said something to the effect that I felt like I really needed to prove to myself that I could stand on my own two feet without help and brave my tough times alone to prove that I was "whole".

She said that wasn't necessary in life. Whether we stand alone in the face of trials or go to other people for help and support are really the same things. One is just being a little bit kinder to ourselves by letting go of pride and allowing others to help. We're not expecting others to do it for us, because no one really can force us to progress. We have to do that all on our own. We are just giving ourselves a softer landing by letting someone else help.

Allowing others to help us or reaching out to others when we are hurting is not using a crutch. There's no more glory or gain in suffering alone.

1st of all, I just want to say, when I heard that line from Jerry McGuire, I wanted to throw up.

Next, I wanted to say.... having people in your life is a good thing. You should never try to carry all your burdens alone. Make good friends, stay close to family, and TRY to be forgiving. (I'm still working on that part my self). Find time to do healthy activities that bring you happiness. I'm sure if you apply all this, you won't feel like someone else has to complete you. Instead he or she will make a great companion.

Again, coming in late to this and havent read responses -

I dont know - I think it means that he is whole - and the addition of her makes him complete. Like he misses her presence in his life - his life is better with her and her son (taking it from the movie literally).

As for what you are saying about what you want in your future relationships, I totally agree. Its hard to know what kind of need we are filling for someone else, and they to us. In my experience, by the time I realized I was a "filler" for someone else and they needed me to be whole, I was already in love and knee deep into the relationship. Fortunately, I think more of myself now and have learned so much from my divorce that I will recognize the red flags and walk away if it comes to that.

I am still not sure if thats enough (having self love) but it is more than I have ever been armed with before so I have a little more hope that things will turn out differently this time.

xoxo

Soooo on board with someone complementing and enhancing my life...I am a rock star on my own, and definitely don't need anyone completing me LOL

I need a sugar momma to complete me.

All this substitution and god talk....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NDWWzUv44nw
"You bring me closer to god"

*Likes # 25's therapist*!