I would love to have a woman approach me. That has never happened to me and it probably never will. If she just approached me and talked to me she would have my undivided attention at Hello.

That being said....I don't think that a woman would ever approach me. I don't give off confidence and I am not super attractive. Women look at me and say...well...he is a nice guy.

THe killer is that once I break the ice I am in because I can be an excellent conversationalist. It is just hard to break through the ice.

They won't.

More than likely, a woman will not approach you.

Unless you live in LA. The stories I could tell...well, 1 really.

If you make excuses and psyche yourself out, you're going to fail. If you've already failed in your head, you're going to fail in real life.

You have to think positively.

Breaking the ice is NOT hard. It's really easy, like falling off a bike ;)

Heave,
I'm not as shy as I used to be, but still I cannot get up the nerve to ask a guy out. I wonder if it is my pride or if I am that old-fashioned. Do you guys really dig a girl asking you out? And would you automatically assume the date would end in sex because she is obviously interested?

Lee

I know how you feel. I'm the same way. But you first have to change your thinking. YOu cant think " think in a more positive manner. you can always have the bartender send a drink over to someone you find attractive and see what happens from there. Rent the movie "Hitch" its a cute movie, has a lot to do with this topic

I used to hate this phrase, but it does ring true:

If you think you can, you can.

If you think you can't, you can't.

Heave - I still want to know - you said in the title that you saw beautiful women but went on to say your not "super attractive". Do you give women who are not "super attractive" a chance? They are probably feeling the same way you are.

Yes guys would love to have a woman approach them and NO, they don't assume it will end in sex. Sex is never assumed. Well....at least not by me.

I have found that if you wish to have a meaningful relationship then you don't even attempt sex for a while. I never attempt it on the first date....or the second date....not sure when I would attempt it. I would just know that it was time (kind of wierd).

Then again....this is coming from a guy who has only been with three women so think about the source of advice here.

Heave..I think being with 3 women is admirable, dont get down on yourself for that ever.

To be brutally honest I don't think that I would go for a super attractive woman because I know that she wouldn't tell me the time of day.

I tend to like thinner women and more athletic types. Just a preference but there has to be something there though. I mean they have to have a great personality, morals, and they have to match the person who I am. I will know quickly if I match someone because I know myself pretty descently. I tend to analyze everything, for better or for worse, so I really look into those things.

I am really beginning to think that I am far better off with internet dating. Reason being is that you break the ice and learn about the person before you actually meet them. When you meet them you know how they are, mostly, so it makes it easier for me. It isn't like approaching someone you don't know...you know a little about them already.

Just a thought.

Do you also think she is desperate? Like no guys would ask her out, she has to ask them out? I'm not that insecure, but I guess I just have never practiced it.

I wouldn't assume she is desperate. I would really appreciate the attention. Seriously appreciate the attention.

Even if I wasn't interested I would definately be much more likely to strike up a conversation and become friends. I really don't do the rejection thing though....I have never been the one to end a relationship...I have always been the one who wants to work on it and keep it going because I believe that it will work, no matter what.

That is so true for most of us on here... we have tried and tried. I hate to hear people calling others "stupid" for putting up with a cheating spouse or deadbeat spouse. It's not being stupid, it's being faithful to your vows.

I think shyness can be endearing. Different women go for different types. Smile, say hello, and let things unfold.

I'm with you on the rejection thing. Women have it easier there, but that doesn't mean we don't have our insecurities too.

Be yourself, relax and let your personality shine through, and if that means a little shyness, some woman is going to think that is sweet.

I've had women hit on me in bars ocassionally. One asked if I was a nice guy, I answered "by most standards" and she had me watch her drink while she went to the bathroom.

I assume I had her implicit trust from the beginning. That was a fun night...

Eh...

Anyway, confidence is the key here, like others said. Imagine you have no expectations or emotional investment in this particular human encounter. You have all the friends you need, you're just out having a good time. You're not proving yourself to them. If anything, you're seeing if they can meet your expectations. But, you're just a casual, social guy with no agenda. Don't even buy a drink or ask for her name until you've had something of a conversation.

If it's a group table, engage everyone. It takes a bit of practice but after a few weekends you will feel comfortable directing an energetic conversation with a table of strangers. People go out to bars PRAYING that someone interesting will crash into them. Make some people happy.

And HOLY SHIT do you have stories. Every other day you're chasing some bastard. You have an interesting life. This should be easy for you.