Just take the chance or sit on the stool alone....what do you have to lose?

sorry cant help you but know how you feel spent most of my life doing that but when i tried it sober my judgement was off - my bad ... anyway a good post because although i may seem loud and friendly and cheery in conversations with others its the performing seal hiding the shyness and anxiety - hopefully someone will have some good suggestions for us though - thanks for posting this thread.

Well...I am good at sitting at the stool alone. I have that down to an art!

I have my dignity and self-confidence, what little I have, to loose by being rejected. I just assume I will get a no or go the hell away!

I am very shy myself. It helps to go out with people who arent so shy so they can break some of the ice for ya. You would be amazed at how many women just appreciate a guy coming up and saying "hello" without any cheesy pick up lines. plus, arent you a cop?? You prob. have so many great stories you can tell!!! Just give it a try, it will get easier.

Sometimes you just have to take the bull by the horns. I know the thought of rejection, can be overwhelming. But my new outlook is, if it's meant to be it will. Whats the worst thing, hearing no....next....

If someone would be that rude to you why would you want to know them? Don't just sit around and think about what might happen. You need to get out of your comfort zone and make something happen.

I did get a kick out of these two women in the bar. I noticed that they had wedding tackle on.....Wedding ring and engagement ring. Still these dumb guys were buying them drinks left and right. It was so funny to watch them leave alone and the guys just hang their heads. I could have perdicted that. I always look for rings first! That was so funny. They were just using the guy's attention to get themselves free drinks. That is so bad but the guys should have known better if they checked out their left hand!

dam heave wish you were close..i'm not shy and id walk right up to a lady and tell em what catch you are

have to agree with you Tes - to beat the shyness and anxiety you have to get out of your comfort zone - unfortunately easier said than done depending how long you have had the shyness etc - good input thoough

Make eye contact and smile. You can tell if someone is attracted to you if they smile back. If she's shy, she might look away but she'll keep glancing back at you.

Also, try to appear confident- even if you aren't

Forget anything else you may have heard about meeting and talking to women and hear only this:

Confidence Always Wins.

It's not about pickup lines, it's not about anything stupid. It's all about confidence.

It's about smiling at a woman if you think she's attractive. It's about wearing clothes that aren't baggy. It's about being comfortable in your own skin.

If you think of meeting someone new as an opportunity and not something to dread, if you put some excitement into it instead of exuding fear, you will go much further as far as meeting new people.

Like Nikki said, "Hello" and "Hi" go MUCH further than most guys would think.

Don't be afraid to make eye contact (boobs are not eyes BTW).

Heave, do you do this intentionally or not? Everything is water or boat related with you....example...they had wedding tackle on. I'm not trying to be rude just curious?

LOL Pasta at the boob comment!!!

Wedding tackle is not boat related. I tend to use a lot of sea type terms just because that is what I am use to and I am around it a lot.

Remember....I am on a boat right now. I use to live on my boat (only for a short time) and I sail all of the time. If I didn't need a job to get by I would sail full time.

Wish the boat was anchored outside of the bar. Would have been a confidence builder looking out and seeing my boat in its glory with Ol' Roger flying off of the starboard spreader.

I know what you mean Heave. I'm a shy guy too, I get the butterflies, lump in the throat, etc. feelings about approaching a woman that I find attractive.

It's odd because others find me outgoing, easy to talk too, etc., and I am, just not when I'm approaching a woman for myself. Sometimes I feel like I need a "wingman" to break the ice for me, but I also agree that the confidence issue is a big deal, plus the short memory when we get rejected wouldn't hurt either.