I am sorry this happened to you. I wish you could have made your wife explain to your kids, she needs to own what she did. Have you seen the divorce after twenty years board on here? I'd suggest being part of that, also. You will find many people on here who care about you and what you are going through. Hang in there.

I would echo Jen's reply and advise you check out the Divorce After 20 Years group. There is lots of good advice there for getting out of long-term marriages.

I'm really sorry divorce has brought you here.

I kicked my lying, cheating ex to the curb over four years ago. The first two calls I made were to a very competent attorney who took care of me financially and then to a good counselor who put me back together emotionally.

I would recommend you make these two calls.

Also, please gather people around who will be supportive. Don't forget to eat, get sleep, etc.

Sending gentle hugs.

I am sorry:( I assume kids are older? I would have had her tell them. Cheating is just awful!

First of all, you did the right thing. Don't let her think even for a second that you will tolerate it.

Then, if you're an American, get that lawyer ready. If you're not, well, depending on the circumstances and the variables, infidelity doesn't always end in divorce but that's for you to decide.

Thank you all for answering. May God and life be great in the future for all of you.

I know what you are going through and the loneliness could drive you crazy but focus on your kids because as much as you need someone right now, they need you. I have been in your shoes and it really hurts. But I just joined this site a few days ago and their are some awesome people here. Also, I agree with the others, she needs to step up and tell the kids what happened and own up to her mistakes. Keep the faith and stay in touch!!!!!!!! We are all in this together!!11