Thank you Mirandac. I thought itd make me feel better and ease the terrible pain he caused me. But it did the opposite, now not only i have to overcome the grief of losing him but also the shame i feel about myself. I know now that the best thing we can do in such crap circumstances is to leave without a word even if it hurts like hell inside and all we want to do is shout and kick.
Thiscantbeit, it is possible he may come back crawling. You should equip yourself should that happen and think how you would handle it. Its only too easy to fall into the same trap because it seems like such a relief of our pain at the time.

Hexe, i would talk to a therapist or join a
Breakup group to help you. I have learned
How to self forgive and i have even forgiven
My ex, it was the only way past my rage. He
Did not need to know that.

Forgiveness is for us And it helps a lot. Be
gentle and kind to yourself as you grieve
Your losses. HUGS

Hexe, sometimes in our desperation this overwhelming feeling of heartache blinds us from making the best of choices. But, you can't beat yourself up for that. Who can judge? Anyone who has really know heartbreak knows sometimes it feels way out of our control. We have to remember one thing, which I myself am trying to grasp, if they did us dirty the way they did, then they don't deserve any of what we are feeling. And the truth is that the a$$holes that are exposed now are not the men that we fell in love with. And if they could do this to us so easily, we have to try to use that as ammunition to not give them anymore of our energy. Its hard, I know! I cant even believe Im saying this. But we cant allow ourself to suffer consequences for someone else's actions. I don't know how to fix it, but I know we cant stay here.

My boyfriend of 4 years has done almost the same thing to me and hasn't text me once. How do you get away with telling someone you want to be with them forever and never waver and then all of a sudden all that's gone and your left wonder what happened?! You get stuck in the relationship because for you it's not over. It's horrible and I'm so sorry you are going through this! I wish I had better advice ... all I can say is work on making yourself happy.

Thank you cutieface. I appreciate your words. I'm sorry that you are dealing with this as well. *Hug*

I'm going through a tough break up as well. I'm so glad to hear that you're strong and you're able to see that he was an arse. For me, I'm blaming myself because I've been planning to move on for month because he had no jobs and no desire for a family which I've wanted. I've talked to him multiple times about it and he sort of didn't cared in the end. Now that I've broken up, I feel so devastated and heartbroken. I feel like I made the wrong choice and I even begged him back, but he's moved on. I know he wasn't the right guy for me, but the pain is intense. I really do hope you get better. I'm so glad that there're others out there to share the pain with. I'm just so lonely and lost...

I can relate completely..
No matter what good advice anybody gives you ( and they are all right and its all good advice)
It just does not make it any better.
I give it all to god out of desperation a couple of times a day.. and especially before I try sleep.
But all the pain and anger comes back.
So many of us feel the same way at the moment... you are not alone.
Just carry on writing, you will find your answers and peace.. and as I write that I say to myself... I hope I can oneday make sense out of it too.