Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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Why do I feel so confused

T4L
T4L

Hi everyone. I joined this group back in June after my ex and I decided to end our relationship. However we have still been living together. After several months, my ex has found a place to love and has begun to move out her stuff. The move will be completed in one week. I am having a breakdown over this. Even though I know we need to work on ourselves and I we were unhappy in a lot of ways, I am still feeling like I cannot accept this breakup. We both admit we love each other but she says love isn't enough. I know what she means because there has been so much disrespect and emotional and verbal abuse. Why am I feeling so crippled by this even if I know it's probably what is best?? I hate thinking it's truly over and I hate the thought of being without my best friend. I hate that I am feeling so pained over this loss even though we went through hell. I am sad we couldn't overcome our issues. It hurts so much. I just want this devastation to go away. Please help me. 

GirlinCalif
GirlinCalif
I remember that from June. I think what you're feeling is actually really normal. Even in the worst relationships, when it ends we all feel a little bit lost, panic, sadness. Some of what we feel is just familiarity, and being comfortable with this person. Just remember all the reasons why you two broke up (her pitting you against your sister, etc) and you need to focus on all the bad parts right now because that will help you get through this.

Are you still in therapy? This would be a good time to talk to your therapist. Also, keep a journal and write write write. Need to get out those feelings right now. And it's fine to just cry all day sometimes too. Grieve the end of this relationship. It sounds to me that you two really tried. Just wasn't a good fit.

Just know what you're feeling is completely normal and that in time you will get used to this new way of life. Start making plans for things YOU want to do, things you have had to put off for so long because you were stuck in this relationship (that ended back in June). Get excited about all the new and fun things and people that are about to happen to you. You're going to be okay!
miagotme
miagotme
I understand so much sometmes you just want life to be perfect and things to never change. :(
Alexa987
Alexa987
Oh I can relate so much with you right now, my husband and I are separating but still living together and I dread the day he'll move out I know it's going to be devastating, but even though it's so though for you right now you could see this as one step closer to your healing, it's going to take time but you'll get there.
Coffemaker
Coffemaker
Change is always scary. If the situation is for the best, then focus on your new life. It is not easy of course, but start spending more time away from home throughout the day might help. You have to be strong and accept that this is your new life. It will be over in a week and the sooner you ease yourself into a new routine the less anxious you will be.
T4L
T4L
Thank you everyone! I’m not always a big fan of change! Throughout the week I’ve been feeling more accepting that this is what needs to happen for our healing and it finally is! I am grateful for that! My goal is to try and focus more on who I am again. It’s true that you can lose yourself and I think both of us lost ourselves and our longing for growth. I am ready to get back to focusing on self love and my goals. I’ve learned a lot of what I want and don’t want from this relationship and I will do better next time around but for now, it’s time to focus on me. All of your kind words helped me realize that as well. I am so grateful to have this community through all this pain Ive been going through. Thank you ❤️
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