Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Had I been more rational and less snarky when I posted, this is what I would have liked to have written.
Thank you.
I should have been less brief in answering the OP's question and more brief is setting up the answer.
The instincts I wrote of are buried deep in the brain at the level researchers refer to as the 'reptile brain'. These instincts are easily overridden by the rational brain either as a choice or a conditioned response. In othet words, men consciously choose monogamy. They do it for many reasons. The greatest of these is Love.
Women usually don't have to choose. They are monogamous by nature. Some however are 'serial monogamists' and switch mates when something better comes along. Unfortunately, the title "FITTEST" does not come with any guarantee so there is a requirement for women also to make a conscious choice.
it isn't about being "programmed" as more so what your beliefs are.
Many will blame how we are raised as to how we look at relationships, while in some part of that is true, as we get older we know what is right for us in these matters regardless of what we have been shown our whole life whether that was a committed relationship, one man - one woman, or many partners were ushered in and out the door. I believe society plays a big part now-a-days in how people view this type of thing and we each have a choice to live it the way we want. It doesn't justify the reasons when someone can not just be with one person, but it is accepted as what is becoming the norm and Ok if you so choose to live this way.
I believe if any wiring goes on, it is what we have wired in ourselves so to be Ok our choice to live this way or that way whether it really be what is right or not.
or ever were part of a family, a solid united whole?
or that there wasnt one person who witnessed us not just at our best, but at our worst, and still loved us?