Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

13,010 Members
100,360 Posts
1 Online
Relationships & Sexuality
/ Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Who would want me

tynee5511
tynee5511

Every time I go through these breakups I feel even more horrible about myself than I already feel. I don't know if I'm pretty or ugly or who is the judge but I know that growing up I was always called that and rarely ever called pretty. They say that beauty is from within but how is it even possible to get to the inside if you don't go through the outside. I know that I am not pretty so why would someone want to be with me when the population of women double men and I am nothing good to look at or have. I hate the way I feel I hate what I see when I look at me although it looks okay to me it must not be because everyone has always said the same thing all my life I'm ugly I'm not pretty but I have a nice body what a slap in the face and a way to make a girl feel like trash. So now that I am alone I believe that I will stay that way what man wants a ugly girl when there are millions of pretty ones. 

LoatandWandering
LoatandWandering
If you love someone ....it wont matter what the outside is....I feel the ame as well. after my break up.. the thought of if anyone will find me desirable comes into play..i totally understand what you feel and are going through....All we can hope is that someone will look at not only the physical but what we have to offer emotionally as well.
coming from a single dad and being with someone for 9 yrs....we feel we got older...less attractive...no one wants to be intimate with you...but there will ALWAYS be someone that will want you. dont look at your physical features as being your greatest asset. your heart should carry that weight. if you give unconditionally...to me...that is way more attractive than only looks because looks can always fade. ..thats what i hope anyway.
tynee5511
tynee5511
Thank you
Hope1004
Hope1004
My brother was never physically attracted to his wife. But you know what? He loves her, it was a small bump when they first dated, but he absolutely loved her for her. Her drive, her ambition, her strength, her levelheadedness and her loyalty...etc. these are things that mattered to him. Hey, looks fade, but a person's soul, their truest self, isn't measured by looks.

They have been together for years. He's happily married to her and they are trying to have children.
tynee5511
tynee5511
Thanks Hope that actually gives me hope (smile ) that there is a possibility for me to find someone who will love me as I am. People seem so shallow these days I get discouraged.
Hope1004
Hope1004
Don't be. And just an FYI, my brother is kind of a looker (I guess I'm his sister) because he never had difficulty picking up girls. Just at some point guys grow up and realize that's not what they need for long term.
veggiequeen
veggiequeen
I have come across alot of people since i did start to chat and open up. One very special one would teach me that his attraction to a woman would grow as he learned and discovered more about her. He wanted not simply to judge someone by their appearance...but get to know their heart.

If you grow to care about someone, you do find something that you do love about them....maybe a warm smile or a devilish twinkle in their eyes. I DO NOT BELIEVE YOU ARE UGLY NO MATTER WHAT YOU HAVE BEEN TOLD. (Unless you have a third eye sprouting out your forehead ....lol)
I look forward to the day when you may look in that mirror and smile and realize that you are just fine....just the way you are....and you have alot to offer. (it took me a long time and I still have my moments, but we have to learn this before others will come to realize it too. )
tynee5511
tynee5511
Thanks Veggie queen your post made me feel special with a face full of tears. It feels good to have someone tell you something different then what you've come to know. thank you still working progress.
Ghostdancer
Ghostdancer
We’ve all got something special about us and there is that special person out there as well now get busy and find them. Be as safely active at searching and being searched as is possible these days. Accent the positive and look sharp and feel sharp you deserve it.
amurb
amurb
oh sweetie please don't sell yourself short! God doesn't make junk, you are a treasure in his eyes and I can tell you are hurting. Don't find your worth in man, figure out what makes you feel beautiful and focus on that, also just try to make a list of qualities you like in men and want and stick to those, don't allow any man to dictate who you are or what you look like. You are beautiful inside and out to someone.
Olivepdgst
Olivepdgst
Don't feel bad about yourself... This person didn't break up for you physic, we all know there is way more to a relationship. Don't you like what you see in the mirror right now? There are other ways to be beautiful, I'm sure you have projects that you really carry in your heart, take them where you need them to go !!! You need no one for that but you, you are your own person. The rest will fall into place and you won't notice it.
serenityspeaks
serenityspeaks
I dont feel pretty either. But from other side my ex I wasnt initially even attracted to. But he was nice had more to offer and as our love grew so did his looks just example that often that isnt what all even go fpr and if they do you dont need them. We all value dofferent things when looking for that special someone.
tynee5511
tynee5511
Thanks you all I have just been taking my time each day to just do things for me and surrounding myself around other people and I see the reactions that I get. But more than anything I think that what I have to offer it inside is really really great and once I work on me and how I feel about me maybe I will be whole to be half to someone else. Don't think I'm there yet though.
Newman2016
Newman2016
Feeling better today I'm hoping, if even just a lil
tynee5511
tynee5511
I'm trying to not focus on it as much. Its a struggle.
movingon2016
movingon2016
One of the most attractive feature of a person is their self-confidence. The physical features change with age. We all go through. Learn to be confident and you will attract others like you. The more you work in yourself the more you will see you can attract a higher “quality “ of men. Men who are themselves confident, loving and giving. Be the qualities you are looking for in a man.

Hugs!!!
Posts You May Be Interested In
  • serenityspeaks

    I am miserable

    Posted by: serenityspeaks
    Last Reply: serenityspeaks
    6
    I so exhausted from pain in my back that started Sunday but was mild and almost gone till I took bath that night and think I twisted or did something to take it to excruciating...I am away for work in a different state so traveled Monday and worked today then called my boss to fyi her about fact I am falling apart and walking like elderly person! I did telemed and they called in prednisone and...
  • GreenEyes727

    Fall Has Arrived

    Posted by: GreenEyes727
    Last Reply: GreenEyes727
    4
    Can't wait to burn my pumpkin spice candle!  National Coffee Day is coming up on the 29th so I hope to score up on a free coffee.