The truth is that I let my wife get us into debt because I was too afraid of telling her 'no.' Not afraid she would kick my ass, but just afraid of saying no. I'm pretty sure she used this to her advantage, by preying upon this weakness. I just wanted to make her happy, even though deep down, I knew that I should be telling her 'no,' for the sake of our finances and our family...oh well...

LAC2...I'm not talking about fixing the marriage. I'm talking about fixing my brain.

Was it consistent? I can see glossing over items that bring her happiness, but there has to be a cap to how much debt you are going to incur.

Well, being that I am late on my mortgage, cards are maxed out at about $45k and I'm late on my bills..I'd say this pretty much caps out here...

you don't have to say no, you can just call the bank and ask them to cut off all credit cards, lines of credit

then the bank does the saying "no" until you feel good about saying it yourself

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HlhlkUlhkfo

Nice guys finish last.

nice guys finish last? right behind the broke ones?

I don't get it - does your wife not understand how your finances work? does she leave that all up to you? sounds like a very "hear no evil/see no evil" approach to your marriage/finances.


I must be some controlling bitch because I knew every penny that was spent in my marriage and we never co-mingled funds.

I am very co-dependent. I think I learned to be because most women tend to be Cinderellas. So, as a guy, I put more into it than I should and let my women get away with practically everything. I don't even realize how much of a doormat that I become.

Conclusion: I should avoid women!

Rman, you don't need to fix your brain. You need to get out of that relationship. It is probably too far gone to get any control back.

ugh...the money issues...you do have to draw the line somewhere...even if it pisses them off...the ex put me in charge of our joint bank account...and when I told him no for something, he'd get pissed and call me lazy bitch...saying he was the only one putting money in the account...which wasn't true...I put more money in the account than he did...but, whatever...I tried explaining to him that we had bills that had to be paid...but he didn't see his monthly payments he had as bills....he was a retard when it came to money...but thanks to me budgeting our money...we had money to pay the necessities and be able to go out and have fun...but I'm still the bad person cause he decided to loan his parents $300 out of our money without discussing it with me...it left us with $50 to last a week and a half...and thats no way to live...

again, my point is...you have to draw the line somewhere...if she gets bitchy about it...tell her you're looking out for your family...and if she's still bitchy, tell her to take a chill pill and go get a reality check.

ok...I'm done ranting and babbling...

oooh look at Cali. me-ow

Lezbo time...

I wonder if people who are dating/married to a co-dependent are super happy? I feel I was the co-dependent one, and I was the one to leave both of my LT relationships. Neither one of them wanted out.

**Fridaydog, that made perfect sense and sounds great to me.

My mother is in counseling and she just can't believe how her counselor is telling her she should behave in order to not be co-dependent. She says it just goes against everything she believes in. But yes, she allowed my father to run over her and she took care of everything financially in order to put on the illusion to the public that everything was wonderful when in reality it was misery.

Anyway...the moral of the story is that I put her first, before anything else...even though it hurt me and my family. That is codependency. Now I just have to figure out why I did that....I mean, I'm a decent guy, who works and could probably get a date or two. But I chose to be walked on...why? I don't know? Self-esteem issues? Perhaps...I don't know...that is my rant.

is it Tuesday?

Nope