I think for me it means that all you do is thing of the other person and do things for them and they do what they want and do nothing for you. You have the urge to give your entire life to them and they give you nothing or little in return. They leave you and you feel loneliness, depression, gloom, emptiness, shame, self doubt because you will be nothing without them. You no longer live for yourself but live for them only and their happiness...

So basically it's a person with no self-esteem, who gets walked on by another person because they are obsessed with them?

In a nut shell: Caring more about other people's feelings than your own.

WIKI-

Codependency or codependence is a tendency to behave in overly passive or excessively caretaking ways that negatively impact one's relationships and quality of life. It also often involves putting one's needs at a lower priority than others while being excessively preoccupied with the needs of others. [1] Codependency can occur in any type of relationship, including in families, at work, in friendships, and also in romantic, peer or community relationships.[1] Codependency may also be characterized by denial, low self-esteem, excessive compliance, and/or control patterns.[1]
Codependency describes behavior, thoughts and feelings that go beyond normal kinds of self-sacrifice or care taking. For example parenting is a role that requires a certain amount of self-sacrifice and giving a child's needs a high priority, although a parent could nevertheless still be codependent towards their own children if the care taking or parental sacrifice reached unhealthy or destructive levels.[1] Generally a parent who takes care of their own needs (emotional and physical) in a healthy way will be a better caretaker, whereas a codependent parent may be less effective, or may even do harm to a child.[1]
Codependency does not refer to all caring behavior or feelings, but only those that are excessive to an unhealthy degree.

A people pleaser?

Co-dependency is what i am going to be discussing with my therapist tonight...

I think this really sums it up....Codependency does not refer to all caring behavior or feelings, but only those that are excessive to an unhealthy degree

that's the passive end of the co-dependency model, the other half is the person who doesn't take control of their own life, doesn't take responsibility for their behaviour and choices, and allows, expects, or demands that their passive/caretaking partner/child/sibling/friend/whatever do it for them...

you can't have one without the other.

If this describes me, can I fix it?

you betcha

I am passively co-dependent. I allowed my stbx to control the relationship by not making choices or not communicating since I didn't want to 'rock the boat' now I am just a bitter bitch.

you can fix it rman, but you have to be willing to put yourself first and tell your wife 'no'. Contact a counselor... They'll be able to help you work through it.

I don't like counselors.

There must be a fine line here right? Because shouldn't one want to do some of these things for the person they love? I mean I understand not to the point where it's unhealthy for you...and to the point where you're always giving. But shouldn't two people who love each other and secure with themselves want to still be selfless for the other person to some extent??? Idk...if that made any sense...

rman what don't you like about counselors? Just curious...

rman - doesn't your wife have to WANT to fix it for you to fix it?