Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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Update: Cheated on my boyfriend

jbcares147
jbcares147

Hey guys, I made a post about the back story about the breakup: https://www.dailystrength.org/group/breakups-divorce/discussion/my-heart-hurts-but-i-created-the-mess



I decided that honesty was the best option here, and I was immature and blind to my emotions and didnt appreciatte the person I was with fully. He ended things, for good reason, but doesnt hate me. He understands this is not who I am and I made a mistake. How can I forgive myself for this though? I still feel like a shitty person and incredible selfish. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks

OLDBIKER
OLDBIKER
I am the one who previously stated that "life is full of choices but, with those choices, comes consequences". I understand where you are coming from. Others can forgive us for things we do but, forgiving ourselves in another thing altogether. Coming from a biker background, it has been hard for me to forgive myself for many of the things I did when I was in that lifestyle. Asking forgiveness of those we wronged is the first step. Owning up to what we did and vowing not to make these same mistakes again is the second step to self forgiveness. Don't let the mistakes of the past, rob you from the joy of the future. I am here if you wish to converse. I've been here on DS over 10 yrs.
Bobby5000
Bobby5000
The only think I can think of is to ask to discuss it further. I suppose the toughest question for a boyfriend or husband is how do I know it will not happen again.
steppingovertheedge
steppingovertheedge
If I were your BF I would have ended it also. I will never, ever (divorced in 2015) tolerate infidelity or lying again from anyone. No way. Hell, I'll never get married again either. But that's a slightly different story.

All that being said, I applaud you for (eventually) being honest with your BF. That was the right thing to do. I encourage you to ignore the modern bullshit around sex (sleeping around is a-ok!) and instead try to find yourself a quality person to be with. Sex to happen AFTER a strong relationship is formed. Just my opinion as a 40-something man. Men want women (for relationships, anyway!) who are discerning and don't just jump into bed with anyone after dating briefly.
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