Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
So my girl and I decided to work on things about 3 weeks ago and have been meeting for a date night every Tuesday, it is a LD relationship, and we have amazing times when we meet for dinner, no problems no fights, nothing wrong in person, we are the perfect couple in person. Here’s where the problem is, we get into screaming arguments with each other when we are not together, she says I’m being mean, rude and disrespectful to her, but I feel like she is getting mad at me and over reacting about it and it just escalates from there. She has been putting in a lot of effort to show she cares and regrets cheating but her overall attitude has not changed when we aren’t in person. She says that she feels like she’s putting in 100% effort but I’m not, even though I have been letting her back in my life, slowly starting to trust her, she won’t recognise the efforts I have been putting in for her, says it’s not enough. She refuses to go to couples counseling as she hates to talk about her feelings to others, including me, which I said I would pay for but she feels is a waste of time and money. She also claims that I do things to her that are so mean, but she does and says the same things, ex down below, she blames the screaming arguments on me BTW.
Today during the screaming argument she was doing something and I said I would hang up on her, I said it 5 times over the course of a min but she kept doing it and I hung up on her( which she did to me twice earlier in the day) immediately after I hung up on her I called her and she would deny the call, I called quite a lot and she just didn’t respond for some time.
Sometime earlier she said it was over, but that’s something we have both said quite a lot over the course of this whole cheating thing, and when I called to ask her if she truly meant it she said “I don’t have to give an answer because you want it”
and have not heard from her since.
I could just use advice about the situation or just some of your thoughts, ik it may sound immature of us, and I hate to say it we are both 22. We just can’t stop having petty arguments with each other. Last night her and I had one of the best date nights but all day today it was arguments, we are amazing in person and horrible apart
-
I'm horrified! I knew my insurance would go up due to getting a new car but I didn't expect it to go up over $2,000. I did have an accident with the snow/ice in the winter. I was just telling my brother that I have had my car since March 2, 2026 and have only spent $75 on an oil change. Now this! I called another insurance company and their quote was over $4,000. I guess I have to pay...
-
Look at what my best friend did with my picture!
Long distance relationships are challenging. I do hope you two can continue to see each other in person on a regular basis. Hard to say why she is fighting with you when you are not together. That does sound odd to me.
And what is she doing exactly that is "100%"?
I guess just ask her - "Why do we get along so great in person, but we constantly fight when we're apart?" And that you want a real answer, not the things she's been saying to you so far. Because she is saying you're not doing your part, but she is the one that cheated. And she refuses to go to counseling with you. Tell her that's not good enough for you.
You don't need to tip toe around this. Actually, you should be standing up. And no more immature stuff, like saying 5 times that you'll hang up... Just say "I don't want to talk anymore, let's talk tomorrow". If you two can't be more mature, and serious, then neither of you are ready to be in a serious relationship. Just date with no ties.
Before we went through this fight and her cheating she would never make an effort to see me and expected me to see her, now she meets me half way ish, she also is showing me everything I ask for which is her 100% which is a ton more then what she used to be like..
She does get mad when I bring up the cheating now and says “I’ve beaten the animal so much there’s nothing else to talk about it” meaning that everything has been addressed and I’m just repeatedly bringing up the problem which has been throughly talked about, which therapist says I shouldn’t bring it up either if we talked in depth about it.
For now, just cut the conversation short or the texting short as soon as a fight is breaking out. It is not helping anything, and it's making things worse. Just say you "have to go and that you'll talk to her more tomorrow." Let things cool off for that day.
I was in a LD relationship for a couple of years, when I was in my late 20s. There was no cheating, no arguments, and despite love and deep affection for each other, it still didn’t work because it’s not grounded in the day in and day out stuff the bonds people. LD require a much deeper level of communication because you have to compensate for the lack of facial expression, body language, the comfortable silence... all the cues you don’t get when in a LD relationship. So if you are struggling with communication, there’s not much else that can keep it afloat.
If she cheated on you, that takes time to heal. The reason you may bring up things up she feels you’ve already addressed is because you are really still processing it and likely hurt and not over it. That’s ok. She has to realize that. If she can’t then you have to be honest with yourself about whether you want to be with someone who doesn’t have the insight to get that or to get over the fact she doesn’t like to talk about her feelings. No one likes to talk about their true feelings. It’s uncomfortable.
You are both really young. There is so much more for you both to experience in life. I’d think about that as you continue to argue over stuff.
1: gave her time and space to think and to clear her mind
2:think about changing your ways
3:try leaving her two or three messages
4: forgive her for cheating
5: try marriage counseling with her
6: tell her u care and love her
And if she doesn't respond give her time like i did with my husband another thing show her u are gonna change tell her u will go to counseling me and my husband are happy after that 5 months break up dont think negative ask god to help you change thats what im doing i ho to church read the bible and if she does give u another chance tell her you want to start going to church
Why does he have to "think about changing your ways" when she is the cheater? Are you suggesting it is his fault she cheated?