Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Marriage of 10 years and 4 children later I am realizing I never really knew my husband. He is an alcoholic that manipulated all of us. There was no physical abuse but the emotional abuse was horrid. He has been out of the house for 3 months now, I packed up his personal belongings and loaded up his personal vehicle and took it to his parents and let him know not to come back to this house. It has been a roller coaster of emotions and he has been trying to get me to apologize for standing up for myself. He has told people horrible things about me and it is starting to get back to me. I am in my last 4 weeks of nursing school and will be graduating the beginning of May. We have a large home that we built just a year ago and I have made it clear that this house will be mine..my kids deserve all the stability they can get right now. He has agreed but still insists we go to counseling because he really wants to make things work. I can honestly say I don't. I do not trust him and I feel he has malicious plans against me and the kids. He has gotten people to try to get close to me to spy on me and now I am getting text messages from random people asking me when my house is going to go on the market because they have heard that my husband has a girlfriend and I was seen leaving my lawyers office so they assume we are getting divorced and they want to know when I am moving out and putting the house on the market. WTH!!!!! Who does this?? So frustrated and I feel so betrayed. I did not respond to the texts and I blocked the number so they cannot contact me again. I feel like I constantly have to look over my shoulder to see if people are following me..which is ridiculous. I am doing nothing but being a full time student and single mom to 4 very active kids. (Really, I have no energy left at the end of the day) Yes, he is still paying all the bills for the house and my vehicle but I think it is only fair because we both agreed that I quit working while going to nursing school. I cannot wait until I graduate and start to work so I won't have that hanging over my head.
I just want it all to end. I do honestly love this man but I do not feel like any relationship would be good for either of us. Things have deteriorated so horribly that I am just ready for this chapter of my life to end and a new one begin. He had the audacity to tell me that he doesn't miss how active the kids are with sports and school....of course he would just rather sit at home and drink beer. But then he asks my dad to go to lunch so he can try to figure out how to fix things....I was furious!!! He doesn't have a lawyer but says we can work it out amicably (what the heck ever) but I made sure I have an attorney and i will not be taken advantage of. He is a highly ranked police officer and I know he will try all he can to make me look a fool and I am not going to fall for it.
I just don't understand...I have wasted 10 years of my life. Yes, I have 4 beautiful kids which I wouldn't trade for anything...but now I have a broken heart as well. Of course, nobody ever gets married knowing they will be divorced 10 years later.....I am ready for the healing to start...enough that my blood won't be boiling when I see his face and he tries to blow smoke up my butt........
I just want it all to end. I do honestly love this man but I do not feel like any relationship would be good for either of us. Things have deteriorated so horribly that I am just ready for this chapter of my life to end and a new one begin. He had the audacity to tell me that he doesn't miss how active the kids are with sports and school....of course he would just rather sit at home and drink beer. But then he asks my dad to go to lunch so he can try to figure out how to fix things....I was furious!!! He doesn't have a lawyer but says we can work it out amicably (what the heck ever) but I made sure I have an attorney and i will not be taken advantage of. He is a highly ranked police officer and I know he will try all he can to make me look a fool and I am not going to fall for it.
I just don't understand...I have wasted 10 years of my life. Yes, I have 4 beautiful kids which I wouldn't trade for anything...but now I have a broken heart as well. Of course, nobody ever gets married knowing they will be divorced 10 years later.....I am ready for the healing to start...enough that my blood won't be boiling when I see his face and he tries to blow smoke up my butt........
-
I'm horrified! I knew my insurance would go up due to getting a new car but I didn't expect it to go up over $2,000. I did have an accident with the snow/ice in the winter. I was just telling my brother that I have had my car since March 2, 2026 and have only spent $75 on an oil change. Now this! I called another insurance company and their quote was over $4,000. I guess I have to pay...
-
We all have 24 hours in a day. How we spend these hours is important. Watching a little bit of a video about how sitting affects us made me aware of how much sitting and laying down I do. Gonna have to work on that.Your turn. Tell me another truth.
Stay focused as you have demonstrated in your post. Be aware it is completely draining, so please make time for yourself to recuperate. You and your children are in my prayers.
And I agree, take time to be nice to yourself. Rome wasn't built in a day; rather, Rome was built stone by stone.
Don't feel pressured to do everything in one day, just make sure you keep moving one or two stones each day, giving yourself down-time to recuperate and refresh.
Good luck to you and your children.
"I am realizing I never really knew my husband. He is an alcoholic that manipulated all of us."
and also,
"I do not trust him and I feel he has malicious plans against me and the kids. He has gotten people to try to get close to me to spy on me..."
then,
"I feel like I constantly have to look over my shoulder to see if people are following me..which is ridiculous."
Those 10 years weren't wasted. You have your children from that time & you've pursued your education so that you can be gainfully employed doing meaningful work....that is EXCELLENT
Your broken heart is another story. I don't know what to say about that. I was left 5 months ago & I have been keeping so busy I've given myself no time to process. Things around me have slowed now, reality is creeping in, & it is hard. Really hard. I'm told there's no getting around it, that we must go through it & grieve in order to be able to move on.
Get support from friends & family, focus on your school work because you're in the final stretch.
As a police officer, he has resources at his disposal that you do not. If you had to call 911, what would happen?
He sounds bitter and dangerous. I would install surveillance cameras around and in my house. Trust your feelings. I would not block those numbers. You may need those texts for evidence. I'd save all communications between the two of you, and anyone else who contacts you about this. I'd also record conversations and phone conversations.
Many spouses have died because they didn't think their SO would go that far. Again, he's a cop. You know him better than we do but things like this happen. "...and promptly let my husband know that if I get one more text I will be filing harassment charges." Now he just knows to threaten you in a more secretive manner that can't be traced back to him.
I may sound paranoid but I've been the victim of a violent partner and almost died. You really don't know what a person is capable of and his drinking makes it even worse.
Just wanted to put this out there. Really hope you and your children never have to find out if he's violent but please be careful and listen to your gut. He had you under his thumb and you suddenly asserted yourself and he lost everything, no matter how little it meant to him. You've destroyed his ego. He wants you to suffer.
Keep a daily journal. Make sure someone has access to it in case of emergency. You're not being ridiculous. Watch your back. Again, with him being a cop, that's just scary. He has access to a lot and knows the court system. Plus he sees DV regularly if you're in a big city.
Good luck to you. Keep yourself and your children safe. They're the ones that suffer the most.