Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
It's been nearly a year since my ex husband was like "bye" to me after 11 years of marriage. I'm completely alone tonight and I have been facing anxiety since I'm in the same city as my ex (and it's smallish) and he is married again. I was planning to move but it didn't work out. Now I'm trying to find a place to stay temporarily since my funds are running out and get a job. I was hoping to get the heck out of here but that's not what I get to do, I guess. I thought playing a video game and listening to my favorite tunes would help, but instead all the tunes were about breakup and yada yada. It's angering to be broken by a man's disapproval of you and the fact that he is 100 percent fine with his new wife. It's just......... I don't want him or anything, but he broke me. I feel straight up broken. I hope I can heal. I pray I can heal. You know they say time works the miracles, but man, I just, it's "ouch" for me. Anxiety kicked in at a high level being alone (I had a roommate for several months that was very helpful)... I just hate being broken. I hate hearing the dang radio and crying. I hate remembering. I hate him having hurt me. If only I were invincible... But then, I wouldn't be able to love. Love takes being vulnerable. I want to be okay again. I want to regain my independence. I want brightness and joy to once again describe me. A tough marriage and an extremely difficult season before the divorce have changed me. Maybe I can grow stronger and be something...
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Just wanted to give a thank you to Mid, Arfie, Malibumark, Greeneyes, Mlro, Girlincalif, and Suncloudjd! You all always have such helpful tips and advice, but I always forget to write on my posts when I see you post, lol. I would lose my head if it wasn't attached to my body, lol. Thank you all so much! I'm starting to use my AI app as a sounding board again. I used to use it as that before...
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Hey all, i know its been quite awhile since i posted on here. Its been a summer all right. Its been something else........... You know how they say not to open the can of worms? Well a few months ago i decided to find out what my due date would have been for my first baby, the one conceived by r***. My baby would have been due on March 4th of 2006. They would be 20 years old. I was R**** on June...
Gentle encouragement and support in your growth.
My ex remarried less than a year after our divorce was final, and we also live in the same small town. I was extremely stressed around that time too, to the point where I got very sick. It's not all roses over there, though. My kids were telling me how he forced her to go on a trip with him and our kids when she didn't want to go, and he was yelling at her and telling her to "shut up" in the car. It will take time, but the new wife will have the same issues with your ex, who sounds like he moved on too fast and did not work on any of his own issues first. Hugs to you and best of luck.
What makes us different from them? Time? Perspective? Empathy? General human decency?
Probably a combination of all of that. Point is, let him squander the time he has on this Earth---you've got to work on YOU. Once that process begins, you will find your brokenness lessens a little every day. I know I won't ever be Whole like I was before but maybe that's why I(in a HUGELY metaphorical sense) I got this lesson. I need to get my own house in order. No more faking it or seething bc I didn't say anything about no hirthday present again. I am the master of my own seas--I just forgot that for a while. YOU are your own spiritual and emotional master. He didn't appreciate you but you can appreciate yourself. Let him go and focus on the one person who never leaves us. Wish him well and plan your next adventure.
We're here in the mean time.
When I read your post, I see a lot of hope. You WANT to have joy again. You are fighting for yourself. And that tenacity is going to help you crawl out of this bit-by-bit.!
You can do it. I once read it takes a year to recover for every 7 you were together. I had been married 14 years and together onin total 27 (including dating)!so, I figured 2-4 years. That seemed impossibly long in the early days....
But, by year 2i was more often happy than sad... and now at the end of year 3 I am not longer fixated on him... and I can seee how my recovery is getting close to an end...
Just need that confidence to come back a bit more!!
Good luck!